Starved snake

[OdeToDiazepam]

For the second time my Dsis has neglected an animal to death and I only found out yesterday.

She's recently 18 and did have a snake that used to be my brothers til she took over it's care. I'd noticed she hadn't been feeding it much from lack of seeing defrosting mice, but I never go in her room where it was and have quite a hectic life, I did ask her way back September time are you feeding the snake is it still alive and she'd said yes of course

Yesterday my DB tells me that a few weeks ago he'd gone in there to see it and the smell was horrific, it had been dead for obviously quite a while and there were about 3 rotting mice where she'd put them in, feeding a dead snake?!!!

She has form for this when years and years ago she neglected a Guinea pig, sadly to it's death too. At that time I didn't visit the house much but I did notice and was having to clean it out and kept telling her to look after it but she didn't.

I've told her today that her actions are disgusting and illegal and she's never to own an animal again, if she does I'll report her. I honestly think it's an extreme case of laziness and irresponsibility

@BecauseReasons Using "HTH" in a non ironic sense clearly the height of debating skills

She was because she wasn't in the house for some very traumatic experiences

You don't know what she experienced though. You can't, because no one can never experience anything from anyone else's viewpoint but their own. She's had it rough, OP. So have you and you've clearly come out the other side and made a life for yourself- kudos, it can't have been easy. But your little sister needs help. Whether you think she should or not is irrelevant- she clearly does.

@BecauseReasons Using "HTH" in a non ironic sense clearly the height of debating skills

Not really- it's short for 'hope this helps' and was used because you'd clearly misunderstood my previous post.

Christ. Someone please get this girl away from this toxic shit.

Ok then. You can't be complicit in animal abuse because you were too busy to follow up your concerns she was killing another animal. You pay vet bills for your guinea pigs so no guilt that you didn't intervene when she was inflicting a slow and painful death on a second animal. Keep telling yourself that.

And to the pp that described it as a one off mistake on the sisters part, bollocks. A mistake is forgetting to close a door and a pet escaping and being injured/ killed. Not starvation which takes a long time.

OK OP, in that case there isn't really anything else this thread can do for you. Everyone has agreed that letting the animal die is disgusting. They've just made suggestions as to getting her some help.

I've been a victim of violence and rape, I've never been violent to anyone. If anyone else had been a victim of those things and had been violent, it wouldn't be an "excuse" but it could be a reason. There's a huge difference between excuse and reason.

As I say I don't know what help this thread can provide now as you are manipulating what people are saying - I don't think anyone is comparing the two of you and certainly I'm not arguing who has had it worse because we are strangers and wouldn't want to make those kind of unhelpful comparisons.

What they're saying is that when looking at what's happened as a specific situation, your sister needs professional help because her behaviour is so abnormal.

@BecauseReasons

You pay vet bills for your guinea pigs so no guilt that you didn't intervene when she was inflicting a slow and painful death on a second animal

Makes me wonder if a tiny part of the OP was passively letting it happen to add to the narrative that her sister is a monster who kills animals.

Trainspotting if you read what I said I didn't think she was killing the animal because I didn't expect her to be lying to me!

Sounds like a really toxic environment for your sister to me. She's 18 and she's been able to live like this for years.

So yes, she's done wrong. Yes she's lazy and irresponsible. But her whole family sounds awful - your house sounds chaotic and unsavoury where snakes die unchecked because no one wants to enter her squat of a room

I suspect these issues have been going on for years

Iggly you're deranged Dfod

snakes can go 2/3 months without being fed if it did die of neglect it was over a long period of time.

again do you know it was neglect or did it die and she didnt cope

And please stop with the who had it worse. You clearly both have suffered and are suffering because of it your sister needs help

She was because she wasn't in the house for some very traumatic experiences

Neither was my younger brother. My mum even arranged for him to be on holiday when she left my abusive father, but planned to leave me behind to take care of said father who she thought might react by trying to kill her.

It hurt so deeply that he was 'protected' and I was treated like a sacrifice, but my brother didn't do that to me. It was my parents. He doesn't deserve my anger.

And all that doesn't change that my brother had an abusive father and got a call while away saying our dad was 'sick' and now in a secure hospital, the fear while away and not being able to help us and things got worse and we went into hiding, or what he endured after he came home.

I can see he has issues, and this is a sign so does your sister...she wasn't protect enough. What happened was too awful.

😂

I will! Your sibling needs a bit of help and love. And to be held responsible for her actions. Not from you.
But you don’t have to be nasty about it and turn it back to how you’re the one who’s had the struggle.

@Gypsywater

I'm only in this house because of having to escape from urgent DV situation, and then not being able to afford and cope paying a huge rent a long distance away from my family, I'm not here for the fun of it

Wouldn't surprise me Iggly

Make your mind up op. Either she's the pathetic, filthy, cruel and lazy person you are so keen to portray her as, or you had no reason to doubt her. You can't have it both ways.

The guinea pig wasn’t even in her room. It was in the garden and none of the adults there bothered to glance towards it now and again to see if it was ok. Tbh I think she learned this neglectful behaviour from her surroundings.

She's always been lazy and irresponsible, but i didn't think she would be capable of doing this again, and I didn't think she'd lie, we get along fine usually and spend time together

When the gp was here there was only one adult I wasn't here

No one taught her that living things need to be loved and cared for.

When the gp was here there was only one adult I wasn't here

So you have absolutely no idea what sort of traumatic experiences she might have gone through.

When the gp was here there was only one adult I wasn't here

I didn’t say you. Why are you making it about you?

daisies that was way after 'the bad years' after my mum died and before my dad got better help

Also you seem so keen to stoke the fires here . It's happened, it's is what it is and you seem keen to just keep slagging her off and berating those who simply have an alternative view.

Nobody at all will agree with what your sister has done. All anyone can say is how awful it is and wonder how this could have happened with other people in the house..

You just want people to call her names etc etc