Starved snake

[OdeToDiazepam]

For the second time my Dsis has neglected an animal to death and I only found out yesterday.

She's recently 18 and did have a snake that used to be my brothers til she took over it's care. I'd noticed she hadn't been feeding it much from lack of seeing defrosting mice, but I never go in her room where it was and have quite a hectic life, I did ask her way back September time are you feeding the snake is it still alive and she'd said yes of course

Yesterday my DB tells me that a few weeks ago he'd gone in there to see it and the smell was horrific, it had been dead for obviously quite a while and there were about 3 rotting mice where she'd put them in, feeding a dead snake?!!!

She has form for this when years and years ago she neglected a Guinea pig, sadly to it's death too. At that time I didn't visit the house much but I did notice and was having to clean it out and kept telling her to look after it but she didn't.

I've told her today that her actions are disgusting and illegal and she's never to own an animal again, if she does I'll report her. I honestly think it's an extreme case of laziness and irresponsibility

Well my brother wasn't an adult so which other adult are you referring to

Sorry I meant to leave the thread but missed the bit about the guinea pig being in the garden.
So not actually her responsibility - our guinea pigs are in the living room and me and DH take care of them. The dcs do help out but if I wanted them to do that themselves, they’d need help, support and regular reminders. Because they’re kids.

So to blame her for that is a bit harsh to put it lightly.

She may not be simply lazy. She may have undiagnosed mental health issues ffs.

It was her pet, like I said I was well able to care for outside rabbits and gps and a horse at that age

Is there another adult outside of the family (don't know if you have a partner or close friends nearby) who can sit down with you and let you have a vent?

There's so much anger right at the surface that I think it feels impossible to you to feel anything else about this whole situation.

And it's fair to feel angry, I agree. But none of that changes the fact her behaviour is worrying to the extent she sounds like she needs some professional help.

i didn't think she would be capable of doing this again

She didn't do it the first time. 12 year olds should not be given sole charge of pets and if they are and, through neglect or improper care, the pet dies that's the fault of the adult who gave them the pet.

She was in the home alone with your dad whose mental health issues were so bad that he let a guinea pig starve to death.

You have no idea what went on.

She has seen gp to check her mental health numerous times including recently and they've said she has some social anxiety and she does this group thing for that, had an 'mot' for anything else and they've not said she requires medication or anything and she copes with a levels etc fine

like I said I was well able to care for outside rabbits and gps and a horse at that age

So what? People are different. It’s not all about you.

Do you attend her medical appointments now?

Well my brother wasn't an adult so which other adult are you referring to

You said she had a nanny.

Ok. Well there's not really much anyone can say then is there?

Well at that point the 'nanny' was still involved so she was being cared for

The guinea pigs are my dcs pets.

As an adult I take responsibility for them.

With you and your pets - I’m willing to bet the horses were in stables so you didn’t have sole care. And I bet with the rabbits, you had some help and guidance.

I was well able to care for outside rabbits and gps and a horse at that age

Well done you. However, your sister is not, so you should not hold her to the standards to which you hold yourself.

*should say 'Your sister is not you'

It was diy livery so I did have sole care yes and I got him just after my mum died

like I said I was well able to care for outside rabbits and gps and a horse at that age

And she wasn’t. Maybe something to do with the fact you had your mother until your were 12 and she didn’t.

Well at that point the 'nanny' was still involved so she was being cared for

I find it very hard to believe a nanny wouldn’t feed a pet.

And I’m willing to bet you had some help with how to do it.

Anyway it’s making it all about you again.

Your sister had a different situation and reacted differently. She’s not some sort of crazy animal killer as you claim she is.

Well at that point the 'nanny' was still involved so she was being cared for

But anywhere near adequately.

not anywhere near adequately

Iggly you know my sister very well for someone who's never met her

Everything about our lives apparently

Also, when you were twelve, you'd had eleven years prior with your mother. When your sister was 12, she'd had three years with your mother and nine years with someone who, by your account, fed her and took her to school, but doesn't seem to have been terribly involved with her aside from that, having been separated from her other parent and her siblings age 3. It's not terribly surprising that you were more functional as a 12 year old than she was.

Your whole family sound utterly dysfunctional, including you. I agree with whoever's said your sister has no chance of being well while she continues to live there. She wasn't fit to look after an animal and the adults around her should have known that.