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Original poster

If your DH/DP died how would that affect you financially?

155 replies

Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 20:40

DH has been diagnosed with cancer and we don't yet know what the outcome will be after treatment.

We have life insurance but incredibly stupidly we didn't change the policy when we moved house so it won't cover the mortgage where we currently live, it will cover about half. I think I could manage to pay the rest of the mortgage if he dies but it will be tight for me and the DC. He does have a pension, but I'm not sure what the terms of that are yet.

What plans do you have in place for if your DH/DP dies? Or if you die? I am very interested to hear what people, possibly those more organised than us, have done. I will probably get a better cover for myself now so at least that is in place for the DC's future while I am healthy.

OP posts:
fedup21 · 07/01/2020 20:42

I think I will be far better off with DH dead than alive! Mortgage paid off plus a lump sump through life insurance and then a hefty sum through his work.

Izzybuzzybuzzybees · 07/01/2020 20:42

Hello. I can unfortunately answer this from experience. My husband died suddenly in 2017. We had life insurance which paid out and he had a death in service benefit which paid out too. I was lucky. My kids and I were able to keep the house and I can afford the rest of the bills on my part time wage.

Sazquatch · 07/01/2020 20:43

I’m so sorry to hear about your DH. We all take out these insurances never really thinking we’ll need them. I think our policy pays off the mortgage plus a £100k lump sum. We only have it because the guy that sorted the mortgage when we moved house sorted it out and insisted we should have it.

Apolloanddaphne · 07/01/2020 20:44

I would be very well off. DH works in financial services and has these things very well covered.

Original poster
Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 20:44

@Izzybuzzybuzzybees, I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. Does that mean your policies covered buying the rest of your house outright and you had money in the bank too? I cannot believe we made this oversight
by not increasing the life insurance.

Fedup21, sounds like you have got yourselves properly prepared!

OP posts:
Rankellior · 07/01/2020 20:45

We have fairly comprehensive life cover including the mortgage in full and adequate critical Illness cover for each of us should the worst happen. It was banged into me from an early age by my parents to get good life cover and we’ve been able to increase it as our disposable income has changed. We both have good cover through work too which helps. I also have a fear of dying prematurely so to me this is something I can do prepare should it happen!

DrMadelineMaxwell · 07/01/2020 20:48

No life insurance cover here, but we own our own home and I earn more than Dh. I'd have to cover his share of the bills so i would be able to save less each month but I'd be ok. And if inherit his savings and half his (q small) private pension. I'd be ok.

Original poster
Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 20:48

The silly thing is that we both knew that it was needed and we talked about doing it when we moved but didn't get round to it. We now live in an expensive area and although I think on my salary I could just about manage if half the mortgage is paid off, it will mean I won't be able to provide financial support for the DC for uni costs etc in the future.

DH may be fine but he may not and I don't want to stress him out further by talking about this when I know he is kicking himself too.

OP posts:
Oldraver · 07/01/2020 20:48

Same as Izzy, we had mortgage cover which paid out plus death in service benefits which included a lump sum plus a pension. It did enebale me to stay in the house and the pension now covers bills. Though if you wnat to talk purely in monetry terms we haven't had the £800,000 he would if earned...I only say this as some ignorant people like to remind me 'how lucky' I was to have a pension/money.

OH has similar DIS with me named as beneficiary but thats not guaranteed. I have a small insurance policy

Izzybuzzybuzzybees · 07/01/2020 20:48

Thank you. @Fantasisa Yes mortgage was paid off so I own the house outright and have a good amount in the bank to fall back on. It’s getting eaten slowly though which I’m worrying about. It’s so easy to let myself use more money than needed and move money from my savings over. I need to stop doing this.

Stravapalava · 07/01/2020 20:50

Sounds awful, but if DH died, I'd be laughing all the way to the bank. Life insurance would pay mortgages on all 3 houses and he has a very generous death in service benefit. I'd probably sell the 2 rental houses and I could manage the bills etc on my own.

TheChosenTwo · 07/01/2020 20:51

Sorry to go off track but you’ve made me think that we set up our life insurance when we lived in our old property (which we do still own) but probably never amended them Shock this has never occurred to me until now.
I thought if dh died that the mortgage would be taken care of along with a hefty lump sum but I’m now doubting if this is the case.
If things got tough we do have property (in both our names) which I could sell off if Things got bad.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dh and I hope he gets some good news soon. Flowers

Ragwort · 07/01/2020 20:51

We are very well prepared. My DH’s DF died when he was young and he can remember how difficult it was for his mother and siblings, he always said he would make sure he avoided that possibility. We had it set up so that the mortgage would be immediately paid off plus the equivalent of a ‘salary’ so that the remaining parent did not need to work. It was very expensive cover.

We have since adjusted it now that we have paid off our mortgage and our DS is at uni, but we still both pay life insurance, just not so much.

Original poster
Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 20:53

@Oldraver 'how lucky' people are daft but I suppose they mean comparatively. I'm trying to think positively as we rented for years and years and didn't have any cover at all then so I really would have been stuck financially for life if he had died. At least even without adequate cover if the worst happens I should still be able to keep hold of the house.

It is so easy to dip into savings when it is there.

OP posts:
Newmetoday · 07/01/2020 20:53

I’ll be better off. Won’t be able to work though due to DS having autism and he can’t be left on his own even though he’s at secondary. Mortgage is paid off so won’t have that to worry about and I’ll get his pension. We still have life insurance as well

WonderTree · 07/01/2020 20:55

I'm so sorry to hear about your DH - I hope it all works out.

If my DH died then we would need to sell the house and move somewhere significantly smaller. Having done that, we should be OK financially. We do have some cover, just not enough for our current mortgage.

We did the same as you and moved somewhere bigger without increasing the insurance. But this was a conscious decision. We really don't need a house this big, and it would be silly to keep it if the main breadwinner goes. And it's pretty unlikely to happen. So we would rather take the risk than pay the higher premiums.

SteeeeRuggling · 07/01/2020 20:56

My DH died 4 years ago. It was very sudden and he was only 30. We had life insurance as we had a mortgage on our house and 2 BTL properties. He cancelled the direct debit 6 months before he died so wasn’t covered. I sold the houses. He was the breadwinner (self employed builder). I worked as a teaching assistant and couldn’t afford 1 mortgage on my own, let alone 3.
I rented for a while (I had help from housing benefit) and have just bought a lovely house with my new DP.
As DH was self employed, he didn’t have a pension or anything so it was a struggle for a while. I had to take out a loan for the funeral until I could sort probate to sell the houses. It was a nightmare. I’ve already made sure that DP and I have excellent life insurance and water-tight wills.
I’m so sorry. Wishing your DH lots of luck with his treatment. Flowers

Original poster
Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 20:56

@TheChosenTwo I'd be very happy if this thread encourages others to look at their own circumstances. I am normally so organised and know what we should have done to prepare for the worst that I am really cross with myself. I can't and wouldn't talk to DH now as I know it will play on his mind too and he doesn't need it.

We don't know what is likely to happen to him so it may be worry for nothing (fingers crossed) but it has highlighted a massive hole in the centre of our financial planning.

OP posts:
Bananaman123 · 07/01/2020 20:57

Very sorry to hear your husband is unwell, hopefully treatment will work for him. My partner almost died of cancer at 29, luckily his doc signed the ins papers and mortgage was paid off as didnt expect him to last a year. He is still here 15 hears later, second cancer with huge implecations, kidney failure and sepsis but still here.

I pay for everything from my wages so if he passed i would be slightly better off with bills and no mortgage. Ive made a will incase anything happens to me so the house etc is his (not married). Perhaps legal or financial advice would be a good place to start for you? Prayers are with you

Spinmynipplenuts · 07/01/2020 20:58

I can answer this from experience too. DH died in 2013. We had cover in place to pay off the mortgage and have a lump sum.

@Izzybuzzybuzzybees I’m the same. Need to get better at saving. I’ve been dipping in and out of the lump sum. I need to forget it’s there. A good bit of it has been ring fenced for the kids education should they need it.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/01/2020 20:58

Neither of us have life insurance (yet), but we both have death in service which will cover a shortfall for a couple of years.

We can both, independently, cover the bills and living costs so if needed we could.

We must arrange life insurance though.

fruityconfusedhotdog · 07/01/2020 21:00

So sorry to hear about your DH.

We have sufficient life insurance to pay off the mortgage plus the equivalent of a couple of years of salary so I could take a career break to focus on the children if needed.

Gibble1 · 07/01/2020 21:00

We have no mortgage and we both have life insurance but not much. Our children are 18 and 16 now so I could manage on my wage but I would only manage. There wouldn’t be any holidays or going out until my car loan has been cleared in another 3.5 years.
If the kids were younger and I had to sort childcare, it would be a deal breaker.

DragonMamma · 07/01/2020 21:01

If DH died then the mortgage would be paid off in full and there would be about the equivalent of 4 years salary on top.

I would be able to survive on my wages, if I wasn’t paying a mortgage.

Sorry you’re in this predicament OP.

AuditAngel · 07/01/2020 21:02

You have also reminded me that I need to amend DH’s life insurance policy. The cover is about 2.5 times our outstanding mortgage balance, but he has started smoking again, so no doubt they wouldn’t pay out. I would not be able to pay the mortgage on my own.