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Original poster

If your DH/DP died how would that affect you financially?

155 replies

Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 20:40

DH has been diagnosed with cancer and we don't yet know what the outcome will be after treatment.

We have life insurance but incredibly stupidly we didn't change the policy when we moved house so it won't cover the mortgage where we currently live, it will cover about half. I think I could manage to pay the rest of the mortgage if he dies but it will be tight for me and the DC. He does have a pension, but I'm not sure what the terms of that are yet.

What plans do you have in place for if your DH/DP dies? Or if you die? I am very interested to hear what people, possibly those more organised than us, have done. I will probably get a better cover for myself now so at least that is in place for the DC's future while I am healthy.

OP posts:
loubieloo4 · 08/01/2020 00:41

We are going through this at the moment, dh (39) has stage 4 terminal bowel cancer with a very short life expectancy. We have life insurance that we are claiming, or trying too. Our insurance will payout if you are expected to live less than 12 months, we are just waiting for our oncologist to write his report. This will be the 2nd report as the insurance wanted another scan before they make a decision. To be honest they have been a nightmare, we put the original claim in August.
The plan is fingers crossed 🤞 to be able to have a wonderful holiday as a family and use some of the money to make memories with dh, if they ever payout

When they eventually payout either before dh passes away or on his death there is enough to cover the mortgage and a few years of living expenses, so I won't have to work and can be at home with the children. He also has a small pension. I don't know if his work have a death in service scheme but they have been amazing so far and are still paying him full pay, even though he only does a few hours a week.

It is shocking the amount of people who don't have any insurance and I know through our diagnosis has made friends take out insurance.

I hope your DH's cancer isn't as advanced and you have plenty of years left together.

SanAntonio · 08/01/2020 00:52

My DH has cancer and he went through and updated everything before the first surgery a few months ago and so I know exactly. It is all in a file with contact details etc.

If he dies within 5 years then I get about 1.5 million pre-tax and there would be quite a lot of tax to pay (life assurance linked to mortgage, death in service and pensions). If he dies after 5 years I get about £500,000 less as the life assurance term ends. If his becomes terminal he will change some of the pension beneficiaries to be the children directly and not me. I earn more than enough to support myself well with no mortgage (that would be paid off by the death in service amount)

Have you looked at what happens to the pension? Death in service?

thesunhasgothishatontoday · 08/01/2020 01:03

@fantasisa so sorry to hear about DH diagnosis.
I think you'll find that if he has death in service benefit at work it generally pays out 3-4 times annual salary. I would suggest maybe getting an appt with FA advisor now to find out your position.
Wishing you both lots of luck and positive outcome xx

SanAntonio · 08/01/2020 01:05

Sorry if I missed it- what type of cancer does he have?

Honestly I was shocked at how little help there was-I assumed that you could access support (practical more than financial) from one of the many cancer organisations that I have willingly donated to over the years but the support was almost non-existent.

there might be some things that aren’t income based and sometimes there are Macmillan grants for little extras so it often is worth just checking. Macmillan told me everything is income based.

£300 odd a month for hospital parking when your DH has cancer isn't amusing. You only get it reduced here when they are in for more than 5 nights in a row and free when they are accessing active systemic treatment (ie chemo or radiotherapy daily/weekly).

alexdgr8 · 08/01/2020 01:26

for those who are living together but not married, you have to consider the effect of IHT. only spouses are exempt from having to pay it. most houses/ flats would put the estate above the threshold for IHT, so how would that be paid. some people have to sell the house to liquidise assets in order to pay the IHT.
why not get married. this is a big advantage, esp if there are children to be considered, minimise disruption to them.

ThighThighofthigh · 08/01/2020 02:03

OP I'm sorry about your husband, fingers crossed for you. Also I'm so sorry to all of you who lost your other halves.

So many of you are very well prepared and would be very well off

alexdgr8 · 08/01/2020 03:21

for people who are currently seriously ill, they might be able to claim attendance allowance. that is not means-tested. it relates to disability.
carer's allowance is prob not relevant, as it would not be paid to a partner say who is earning more than £110 a week. of course it could be paid to someone else, but they have to provide at least 35 hrs care a week to a person who is in receipt of attendance allowance. the carer does not have to be a relative. but it wont be paid to anyone in receipt of state retirement pension. great system !

Poetryinaction · 08/01/2020 06:44

My life insurance doesn't cover our whole mortgage, but if I died my death in service would cover the rest.
I haven't checked dh's death on service.
But as we are far from family and only here for his job, if he died I would sell the house.
So I would gain over £200k in equity.

champagneandfromage50 · 08/01/2020 06:47

alexdgr8 agree with you. When he was diagnosed we panicked about not being married. We got married in August

GrumpyHoonMain · 08/01/2020 06:51

His pension should have a life insurance / death in service policy attached to it. Some larger employers also cover the cost of Cancer ops /meds overseas on top of any existing health insurance etc so worth calling HR

Lily311 · 08/01/2020 07:00

My partner of 8 years died when I was pregnant with our daughter . The beneficiary of his life insurance was his mum, I got the death in service benefit though which was about 25k. I had £30000 left from my mortgage (jointly owned but mortgage was on my name) so paid the money there and sold a property abroad to pay off the remaining. My daughter inherited his share of the property. It was incredibly tough being pregnant and not having any other financial help but we pulled through and we now live a comfortable life. I met my partner and had another child this year,need to update my life insurance though to include him and also my will too. Will put it on my list for this week.

Focalpoint · 08/01/2020 07:09

Have you checked if there is life cover associated with his pension?

CamberGirl · 08/01/2020 07:23

I'd be screwed. DH has nothing and is struggling for work and now it looks like he has a major health problem. We are on our uppers as it is. The only thing he has of any value is his work van. I'd be homeless as we rent and I couldn't afford it on my own. If I die he'll get 40 grand, all my debts paid off and 5 grand for my funeral. We have no savings and live month to month with no luxuries as it is.

Bloomburger · 08/01/2020 07:26

I'd be a wealthy lady but a very very sad one too.

ANiceLuxury · 08/01/2020 07:37

I have no mortgage and the life insurance would cover us to live ok for 20 years without me working

VanGoghsDog · 08/01/2020 08:47

Death in service is not normally taxable, unless it takes you over the Lifetime Allowance for pension (I know this sounds weird but I don't make the rules!) when it's raced at 55%. If you or your OH death in service lump sum would take you over the LTA (currently £1.02m I think) when added to your pensions, ask the employer if they will consider changing it to an "excepted scheme" as that does not count towards the LTA. My last employer pays 10x salary dis so it was quite a big issue there!

As for pensions - op, you asked about this. What type of pension does he have? Final salary would normally pay a dependent's pension on death before retirement. Defined contribution usually you just get what's in the pot transferred to you, assuming all the correct forms have been completed. It's paid out in trust and the employer is the trustee so they would normally pass to a spouse, but it's not a given, odd things can happen.

EntirelyAnonymised · 08/01/2020 09:03

I’m sorry about your DH’s diagnosis, @Fantasisa. Hopefully the outcome will be a good one.

I have a life insurance policy that will pay out £300k.

DH is insured up the ying-yang. He has 10x death in service, 3x life ins policies and a widow’s pension.

Our house and cars are paid off and our children are adults. We both have wills.

MorrisZapp · 08/01/2020 09:13

Maybe we should move this valuable thread out of chat?

A friend of our family sadly had nothing at all. Her husband died very suddenly and unexpectedly while on a long haul holiday, leaving her to sort things out on the ground then get her toddler home.

The wider family had to help to pay to have his body repatriated as their travel insurance didn't cover this. He had absolutely no savings or insurance policies and his poor widow was left with a little boy, a suddenly deceased husband and no resources at all. It was an utter disaster.

They're both doing great, fifteen years later but it was horrific at the time.

namechangenumber2 · 08/01/2020 09:24

I think I'd be ok. Whilst we don't have a huge amount of savings ( as we chose to restrict our income by me being a SAHM for a long time) my DH has always been quite savvy with money, so apart from the mortgage there's no debts, he got himself a great mortgage in his early 20's and onto a good scheme at work.

So I believe I'll get a payment when he dies, and a decent pension. The children get something too. So I'd hope to be able to pay off the house etc.

VanGoghsDog · 08/01/2020 12:54

For those "relying" on employer schemes - remember: jobs change, employers can change the package they offer, you can lose your job, etc. If you lose your job later in life it's far harder and more expensive to get life insurance, especially if you have been ill or developed a chronic illness. It's as well to have a bit of something alongside your employer scheme.

LER83 · 08/01/2020 13:12

I would be better off if my husband were to die. I would get quite a large lump sum, enough to buy a small house outright (we currently rent), then I would get I think the equivalent of his annual wage after tax, until my youngest turns 18. I would also
get a death in service payment from his work. If I were to die we worked out what childcare costs would be a year/cleaner/ad hoc bits etc and made sure he would get enough each year to cover that (I'm a sahm so no lost salary).

torthecatlady · 08/01/2020 13:23

Dh has minimum death in service I think of maybe £10k, I don't have anything.
He has also just taken out life insurance of £200k. He doesn't have any savings.

I don't have life insurance - it's too expensive as I have many existing illnesses and I can't afford the premium. It does make me feel shit that I can't leave that financial security to him.

However, our mortgage is due to be paid off this year and I have some savings.

dahliaaa · 08/01/2020 14:49

I will be facing this over the next couple of years OP as my DH has a life limiting illness.

The mortgage will be covered plus a small lump sum which will be enough for an emergency fund but nothing else. (Sadly DH's private pension is now worthless after a problem with the company it was with.)

I think about (the lack of) money and how much I hate DH for not working in the civil service or a big company a lot - mainly as distraction therapy because it stops me thinking about what life will be like without him because I completely adore him.

(If things had been the other way round he would have got more money from my company.)

Drabarni · 08/01/2020 14:58

I hope your dh recovers OP Thanks
We don't have any provision, but if one of us died we have a large property paid for and a smaller one to rent out.
Whoever ws left could decide to sell up and move to somewhere half the size, in my case I'd get a pt job.

Cremebrule · 08/01/2020 15:02

I’m sorry for your situation. It must be a very tough time for you and your family.

We’d be ok with death but buggered with critical illness as we’ve only taken out life insurance. We took ours out when we got married but I do need to look at putting it in trust as we’ve had the forms but never got round to doing it. We also need to sort our wills.

When deciding on life cover, it seems like lots of people just take it out to cover the mortgage but we set it at a level that would cover mortgage, a nanny (to enable the other one to continue working without worrying about nursery drop-off) and private school fees as we knew that would be impossible on one salary for us. We took a gamble that critical illness was perhaps less likely in our 30s when we had childcare costs but if my husband had an illness that stopped him working, our lifestyle would change hugely and we’d have to sell our house.

My husband would be better off than me. He has the main salary and my death in service benefit is 6x salary whereas his is 1x. He’d also get something from my pension. He’d use some money for childcare but could pay the mortgage etc on his own so he’d be pretty rich. I’d need to use the money for the mortgage and childcare.