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If your DH/DP died how would that affect you financially?

155 replies

Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 20:40

DH has been diagnosed with cancer and we don't yet know what the outcome will be after treatment.

We have life insurance but incredibly stupidly we didn't change the policy when we moved house so it won't cover the mortgage where we currently live, it will cover about half. I think I could manage to pay the rest of the mortgage if he dies but it will be tight for me and the DC. He does have a pension, but I'm not sure what the terms of that are yet.

What plans do you have in place for if your DH/DP dies? Or if you die? I am very interested to hear what people, possibly those more organised than us, have done. I will probably get a better cover for myself now so at least that is in place for the DC's future while I am healthy.

OP posts:
Juliette20 · 07/01/2020 22:01

I'm so sorry, OP Flowers. I hope he makes a full recovery.

DH and I both have death in service cover which would pay off the mortgage. We've both made wills. I earn a good salary so would be able to pay the bills. I'd get something from his pension. We don't need to pay for childcare.

notapizzaeater · 07/01/2020 22:03

My DH has terminal cancer at the one, so,something we've been looking into. He has death in service benefit of 4 x salary plus pensions so we will be ok. There's a good thread over in life limiting illness section of wives in the same boat called something like calm before the storm

oohnicevase · 07/01/2020 22:03

You can claim a benefit if you have children which is around £180 per week for the first year . My best friend died last year and her dh gets it . I was amazed how much it is but it's great as I've always wondered how people manage

Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 22:06

@NannyPear, I'm glad to hear it is well controlled and that you have been able to get a mortgage despite his illness.

@chocolatefudgecake17 I'm surprised it isn't the case here to be honest. Although I suppose that it would rule many people out from owning their own home if they can't get insured.

OP posts:
Bluedogyellowcat · 07/01/2020 22:11

My husband died last year. We had critical illness cover which paid off half our mortgage. I’ve just received over £1M in death in service and shares and await some money to come in from pensions, I will clear the mortgage and have just under £1m to invest. I have a decent job too. We are extremely lucky that we can more or less continue as before. It’s one less worry.

Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 22:11

@champagneandfromage50 I very much hope your DH improves and I'm glad that you have a financial plan.

OP posts:
Ithinkwerealonenowtiffany · 07/01/2020 22:12

Sorry to read he isn’t well.

Financially id be better off. We have life insurance with the mortgage and he has a separate one. Plus we have 2 houses we rent out so if needs be I could sell them.

I work p/t and id probably struggle each month but life insurance would be on the side to pay bills.

Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 22:13

@Bluedogyellowcat I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. I think that is exactly the point - it is one huge worry off your mind at the worst time in life. Flowers

OP posts:
Toomuchgoingon · 07/01/2020 22:13

If my DH went first, his life insurance would pay off the mortgage. In our case, I'm the main earner and I have very generous death in service, plus he is the beneficiary in my pension fund, so he and the kids would be fine.

DesLynamsMoustache · 07/01/2020 22:17

We have life insurance that would pay off the mortgage and leave a fairly decent lump sum. Thankfully my parents are in the position to be able to help financially if we really needed, but with mortgage paid off and the lump sum, I could probably just about afford for me and DD to live frugally by carrying on my part-time self-employment. It's a terrifying thought, though.

DesLynamsMoustache · 07/01/2020 22:18

And I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. I hope the prognosis is good and this isn't something you have to spend much time thinking about.

SpaceCadet4000 · 07/01/2020 22:18

This thread has reminded me that I need to get on to my DH about supplemental life insurance. He gets some through work which covers a year of his salary, but after that was through I'd be pretty fucked.

If I die, he's sorted- my primary life insurance will give him a few years worth of my salary, and my employer-subsidised supplemental policy will pay out the cost of our mortgage.

So sorry about your DH, OP.

Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 22:20

@DesLynamsMoustache Thank you, I'm fortunate as I already work full time so know that I have my own income and wouldn't be without an income with DH.

OP posts:
Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 22:23

@notapizzaeater I'm so sorry about your DH. I'm glad to hear you will financially be ok, it must be a bit of comfort to you both.

OP posts:
finished31 · 07/01/2020 22:23

DH has a good life insurance policy in place for next 20 years. House is paid for so that's ok.

My life insurance runs out in March and I know it won't be renewed due to an illness so DH will get @20k (past pensions) until I reach 50and can take out a few over 50's plans.

Fantasisa · 07/01/2020 22:23

@SpaceCadet4000 Get on it! Report back when you have done it, you have 30 days before this thread disappears out of Chat Wink

OP posts:
NYnachos · 07/01/2020 22:25

Sorry to hear this OP.
I believe we'd be ok, as we both have life insurance (I can't get critical illness cover unfortunately) & in-service death benefits.

It worth finding out what you'd be entitled to - I'm pretty sure there's a moneysavingexpert.com page on this. Also remember that you may able to remortgage over a longer period of you need to, which should reduce your outgoings.

PaperbackBlighter · 07/01/2020 22:27

Mortgage would be covered by mortgage protection. Death is service and pension would see me get a lump sum of about a million.

That said, I would be devastated without my husband so would prefer to have him than any amount of money. Sounds like you’re the same, OP, so I hope his prognosis is really good.

saffalass · 07/01/2020 22:28

My husband died suddenly in 2019, Emmy son and I were so lucky. He had lost his sister a few years earlier and had but his affairs in order. I can't stress enough have a will, life insurance ( make sure it's written into trust other wise it goes into probate) also mortgage life insurance. We are lucky he had his own business which continues to pay us. We waited 6 months for probate to clear if you don't have any other source of income it's rough. You also entitled to support from government for 18 months. It's tough but now all is sorted life is easier. I can afford to continue uni and not worry about money, but if it wasn't for his planning it could have been very different. I have learnt a lot too and sorted all my affairs out so it's easier for my son should anything happen

SciFiScream · 07/01/2020 22:28

Sorry about your DH. Thanks

My DH and I jest that we are worth more to each other dead than alive.

We have a policy that will clear the mortgage if either of us die (and some left over too I think as we have a repayment mortgage and are slowly paying that down)

We also have a policy that will pay the surviving spouse (or in trust if we both die) £2,000 pcm until our youngest child is 18. (9 years away)

I also have a death in service lump sum that I've put in trust for my DH

We'd also be beneficiaries of each other's pension.

My Mum died intestate and with no insurance when I was very young. I like to be prepared now. It gives me some peace of mind.

Itsjustmee · 07/01/2020 22:30

We would both be ok
My will is set up so that on my death DH can stay but the house ultimately goes to my son on his death

he would also get 100k and so would my son from two life insurance policies I took out years ago
he would also have his property and business to see him through
If he dies I get a large life insurance payout of 250k and his pension and business
I have no mortgage on my house so I would be ok
We also have smaller policies of 10k each for funerals
We both have quite a bit of cash savings as well so one of us would get that
And we have very little debt apart from car leases

Racheyg · 07/01/2020 22:31

I'm really sorry to hear of those that have lost their dh. And op I hope your dh gets one well with treatment and makes a full recovery.

This has really got me thinking about our life insurance, we both gave it but I have no idea what it covers. We both also have pensions.

Dh earns over double what I do as I only work part time. But I could still pay the mortgage and bills but would have to do away with luxuries like Sky, amazon prime, Netflix. I also wouldn't be able to afford holidays etc.

LoughNeagh · 07/01/2020 22:34

My husband died three months after his life insurance ran out.
I had asked him to renew it. I had renewed mine.
He said I would benefit so I should pay.
I should have paid, but thought I couldn’t afford it.
When he died his good friend asked me if I was ok financially.
I told him we were better off now as I got a widows pension from his employer,and he had always kept his salary.His friend looked disgusted

Turquoisetamborine · 07/01/2020 22:38

We have a policy to cover the mortgage and would pay it off entirely. I would also get about 90k death in service from his work. I could manage to continue to work part time because of this.
If I die he gets a similar amount but our kids also get another 39k directly to them from a policy I took out years ago. He would be fine financially.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 07/01/2020 22:45

I'm marginally worse off, he had given up work when he was told it was terminal and he had his lung removed so we only had my salary and his PIP, but I took a big promotion at that time and DS became his carer so although I now only have my own salary and a small widow's pension (and 18 months of bereavement support allowance from DWP), I am not missing his salary. We didn't have life insurance because we were skint and then when we could have afforded it we didn't think about it. He had 4 pensions, I had lump sum payments from 3 of them although 2 were small pots with a couple of hundred pounds in and the third I've put into savings. I inherited his savings and the house, although I have had to apply for a mortgage on it for the remaining 5 years because it was in his name. I have also been spending less because there's just me and DS, who works full time and has his own money. If I hadn't got the promotion I would have struggled.

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