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Original poster

Feeling slut-shamed

175 replies

MyOhMyDelilah · 27/12/2019 11:32

Wondering if anyone can explain this to me, please?

Why do I feel ashamed of 1) sexting 2) being willing to have sex on the first date 3) entertaining the idea of having a FWB ?

Am I a slut?

I haven't dtd in nearly 2 years, and tbh I feel a good shag would straighten out a lot of things for me/in my life right now. I suspect some of the tension I'm feeling day to day is rooted in the suppression of my sexual self.

The majority of men are not, or do not feel toward themselves, slut-shamed for the same reasons I do.

Insight appreciated.

OP posts:
Selene28 · 27/12/2019 15:37

Hurting* not hiring

TinselAngel · 27/12/2019 15:37

As ever, the leap from wanting to be treated like a slut, to getting angry with women who won't comply, is a short one.

Somebody on the trans widows thread mentioned a very apposite term recently "topping from the bottom".

koshkat · 27/12/2019 15:37

You seem to be in a huff because no one wanted to share their “ooh, I feel slutty too” stories

Yes I was thinking this too...Hmm

Original poster
MyOhMyDelilah · 27/12/2019 15:37

Honestly, go for it and do it. Nothing to be ashamed of. Keep yourself safe is all. If it's good, that's great; if it isn't, you've tried it out. That's how I feel and I suspect many others.

I am going to try and if it's not for me, I won't go there again.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyOhMyDelilah · 27/12/2019 15:38

Meant to highlight the first paragraph

OP posts:
Original poster
MyOhMyDelilah · 27/12/2019 15:40

@TinselAngel can you explain further, please?

OP posts:
koshkat · 27/12/2019 15:42

OP are you an actual female? Of the adult human kind? If so then I hope my question has not offended but I just cannot believe that any woman would ask 'Am I a slut'? - it doesn't ring true to me at all.

Justhadathought · 27/12/2019 15:43

Try to avoid doing so while blind drunk, or similarly intoxicated - it can severely affect your judgement.

What is it you are seeking, though, would be my question? I can understand experimenting with sex when young - but when older and wiser - not really sure?

Some people do seem to get addicted to sex - forever seeking the first thrill - only to feel shame and disappointment the following morning - as with any addiction.

Whatever, be careful and have clear boundaries. The latest 'trends' and expectations seem to be throttling, hitting and anal.

TinselAngel · 27/12/2019 15:43

can you explain further, please?

No.

koshkat · 27/12/2019 15:45

And to posters here I would stop sharing because something here is not quite right.

koshkat · 27/12/2019 15:48

While I do seem to hold an internal sense of sexual shame, I also sense that a great many posters on here who have been 'pearl-clutching' at the sheer brazen tone of my OP and subsequent posts, may indeed feel this shame too. To enjoy sex and need/want it

FFS people! Wakey uppy time! Xmas Grin

BruceAndNosh · 27/12/2019 15:48

So basically you are saying I AM a slut, and I am right to feel ashamed?
I don't know where you got THAT from my brief comment. Possibly because that is your own view of yourself.

My point was you felt like a good shag would make you feel better in some way. It might well do, I've enjoyed plenty of good mood enhancing shags both within and without any relationship.
But what if the shag was rubbish, with a person who had no interest if you enjoyed it or not? I would not find a shag which made me feel more frustrated and less of a sexual being would make me feel better.

Justhadathought · 27/12/2019 15:50

It just goes to show how women, and feminists, are still very divided on the issue of sexual liberation

Whether one night stands are really liberating is another story.

Original poster
MyOhMyDelilah · 27/12/2019 15:50

@koshkat I am a women: adult human female.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyOhMyDelilah · 27/12/2019 15:51

Woman, rather Grin

OP posts:
HorseWithNoHumbuggery · 27/12/2019 15:54

FFS people! Wakey uppy time!

Agree. OP is obviously brave and stunning.

Original poster
MyOhMyDelilah · 27/12/2019 15:55

@BruceAndNosh

My point was you felt like agood shagwould make you feel better in some way. It might well do, I've enjoyed plenty of good mood enhancing shags both within and without any relationship.
But what if the shag was rubbish, with a person who had no interest if you enjoyed it or not? I would not find a shag which made me feel more frustrated and less of a sexual being would make me feel better.

Judging from the man I'm in contact with, he seems to want mutual satisfaction. It may well end up to be rubbish sex, I am aware of that.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyOhMyDelilah · 27/12/2019 15:58

I am not trans. I do not believe in the cult of trans. I am a biological female, a women, I have DC. FFS Hmm

OP posts:
Kantastic · 27/12/2019 16:00

Can you report a whole thread for being creepy?

Justhadathought · 27/12/2019 16:02

To enjoy sex and need/want it

I was always a very sexual person.....loved sex very much....but I can now live without it. It is not a need in the same way as the need for food or water is; or even the need for human companionship......As you grow older and more experienced, in my view - the importance of sex fades significantly...and one realises that seeking sex just for the sake of it...is an empty pursuit; and often a damaging one.

I just see all energy as life energy now..... it just depends where and how you channel that energy or life force.

Justhadathought · 27/12/2019 16:04

Can you report a whole thread for being creepy

It has gone that way, hasn't it......? I was wondering whether some of the contributors are AGPs or trans woman of one sort or other?

I know some women disagree, but for me women talk about and experience sexuality quite differently from men.

koshkat · 27/12/2019 16:07

I know some women disagree, but for me women talk about and experience sexuality quite differently from men.

And very obviously so.

It is a very creepy thread indeed.

Justhadathought · 27/12/2019 16:11

There seems to be a mean girl mentality on this board, which makes it's existence a bit pointless I'd say

I think the problem is posting on this board. People here are likely to take a far more nuanced view of sex and sexual relationships.

Original poster
MyOhMyDelilah · 27/12/2019 16:11

@Justhadathought can you point out which posters are likely to be trans/AGP. I am myself feeling creeped out. Sad

OP posts:
girlygirl98 · 27/12/2019 16:15

I must be weird but I actually found when I was single that I felt more liberated by saying 'no thanks' to sex. Getting to the point were you don't actually worry or care much about sex or lack of it is real freedom lol