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Original poster

Does your dh know what the dc’s have got for Christmas?

142 replies

ShinyNewNameTimeAgain · 23/12/2019 07:28

Because I’ve just realised dh has neither asked me what they’re getting, whether they’re wrapped, no idea what’s going to be from Santa or what’s going to be from us. He hasn’t asked if I’ve got all the food in that we need or asked about booze or puddings or anything.

This isn’t normal is it? His parents are staying so he will be assuming I have also bought and wrapped they’re presents as well as getting their favourite drinks and snacks in.

I’ve spent weeks sorting this out and feel like a bit of a mug.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShinyNewNameTimeAgain · 23/12/2019 07:28

*their not they’re

OP posts:
ArabellaDoreenFig · 23/12/2019 07:37

To be brutally honest OP yes you are being taken for a mug, my DH and I planned what to get the kids together, and to help share the load I bought some and he bought some and we will wrap together.

And my DH works away in the week so being ‘busy with work’ isn’t a reasonable excuse!!

Camomila · 23/12/2019 07:41

As a contrast...

DH knows, we chose them together and paid for one each. He needed to buy some gifts for his colleagues yday so he took DS 3 with him to town too and let him choose presents for me and my parents in Tiger.

Food wise we are going to DMs so he's bringing all the work Christmas foods he got given (chocolates and panettone). He picked me up mince pies in Sainsburies yday as I'm the only one who likes them.

I did buy MIL and BIL presents though and pop them in gift bag though as I'm on mat leave.

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Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/12/2019 07:41

I'm divorced, but my ex and I went shopping together for DS's presents.

Stop facilitating this. He should be doing things with you. Talk to him and tell him you expect him to help.

BertieBotts · 23/12/2019 07:45

Yep, he bought them all. I think we suggested/decided about half each. Oh, DS2 (baby) has a couple of extra bits I got second hand that he is aware of but doesn't know exactly what they are.

MurrayTheMonk · 23/12/2019 07:45

My exh knows what their main presents are (all presents come from us both), because I sent him the links and asked him to sort. This is because,as per when we were married, I've bought absolutely everything else. And I'm about half way through wrapping it. Even more annoying because they are with him this year so I won't see them open any of it.
It is what it is and better that I do it so they get some nice surprises of things they will like I guess...

WakeyShakey · 23/12/2019 07:49

Mine does, but only because I tell him.
To be fair, he works abroad and only gets home a couple of days before Xmas, if he gets home at all.

Isitme13 · 23/12/2019 07:51

My H is now an exH because, in part, of total failure to participate in family life like this.

As such he has no idea what the dc are getting from me this year (like every other year), whereas I have a good idea of what he is giving them as I had to suggest ideas for him.

No, OP, it isn’t normal, although sadly I think it is quite commonplace

Totallycluelessoverhere · 23/12/2019 07:51

My husband came with me to buy most of the presents and suggested a lot of the, he also helped wrap some of them. I expect he will have forgotten about half the stuff we have bought though and most of it will seem a surprise to him on Christmas morning.
He also came with me to do the food shop but it would have been easier to go by myself to do that.

GrannyBags · 23/12/2019 07:53

DH has no idea what DShas from Santa or If they are wrapped. I’ve also wrapped all the rest of the presents, although he was at least there when I got those.
However, we have friends coming for Boxing Day and Friday and DH is cooking all the food for them and has done the bulk of the shopping so it all evens out.
OP - is your DH doing anything to help?

earlydoors42 · 23/12/2019 07:53

My husband is lovely but no I don't think he knows what presents anyone has got, including the kids.

He has helped with the food but only because I gave him a list of what was missing and asked him to buy it.

Not a problem for me, but I can see how it might be for others.

Copperblack · 23/12/2019 07:55

My husband believes in Santa. He is as surprised as the kids on Christmas Day. He would do more if I requested it, but I’m just better at it and we play to our strengths! He will be in charge of the tip run and recycling though.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 23/12/2019 07:56

I buy all the presents, and order the food shop delivery. DH wraps the pressies, and he also cooks Christmas dinner. Seems fair to me.

OceanSunFish · 23/12/2019 07:58

I work part time and DH works full time. I've bought all the presents and he has only a vague idea of what everyone is getting. He'll do a lot of the cooking on Christmas day though.

sunnyshowers · 23/12/2019 07:58

I get so stressed about xmas so dh has bought all the kids stuff and i ve done aunties/parents/friends and neighbours.
They re going to be so delighted because he spends way more than i would..i m really pleased with the way its happened and hes like a dog with 2 tails...delighted with himself.

TheOldestCat · 23/12/2019 07:58

Nope. My DH does absolute nothing towards Christmas; doesn’t even ask what ‘we’ are getting the children or mention food etc. He hates Christmas and criticises me for getting ‘fraught’. His contribution is to cook on the day.

It is shit and it is going to change. Not doing this again. I feel for you, OP.

sunnyshowers · 23/12/2019 07:59

It all comes out of the same pot its just the overwhelming nature of christmas that gets to me

DonaldTrumpsChopper · 23/12/2019 08:00

My DH also believes in Father Christmas, but he knows about most of the presents because I used his Amazon account.

PostNotInHaste · 23/12/2019 08:00

DH looked at me the other day and suddenly asked 'do we need to get the kids anything for Christmas ' and looked alarmed when I say 'shit, hadn't thought of that '.

They are older though and he has been running round like a headless chicken supporting me after OP so I have had plenty of time to sort and he's getting a game DS wants.

Usually we have a discussion and will sort who is getting what and wrap together.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 23/12/2019 08:01

He hasn't got a clue, Christmas is a magical surprise for him 🙄. In fairness I work fewer hours, like shopping and bargain hunting and wrapping so it's natural that it's my job.

Mummaofmytribe · 23/12/2019 08:01

Mine hasn't a clue. He always helps with the food shop, (and will do half the prep with me on Christmas Eve) and buys me a gift, but everyone else's will be as much a surprise to him as the recipients

dementedpixie · 23/12/2019 08:02

I've bought stuff and so has dh. Its dh that does the food shopping and will cook Christmas dinner.

FairyJuice · 23/12/2019 08:04

Deffo not normal op. I do most of the planning and ordering here but we have had many discussions about what to buy for who. If we had bought instore rather than online then DH would have done most of the actual shopping. I've done all of the wrapping cos I've had spare time while the kids were at school.

I would be very annoyed and upset if DH had so little input into family life.

youngestisapsycho · 23/12/2019 08:05

I have always bought the kids and family presents. Dh has never known what any of them are till they’re opened on Xmas day. Doesn’t bother me or him. I love doing the present buying... he wouldn’t even know where to begin. We do plan the food and shopping together as we always host xmas and cook every year. He does all the clearing up and tidies everything away at the end of the day.

Skyejuly · 23/12/2019 08:06

Mine doesn't know really, he wrapped a few but mostly is unaware.

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