Christmas things that can just fuck off already

[PsychoSyd]

1. Cards with glitter on. When you open them and a cascade of glitter falls out. I've just hoovered up the last fucking lot for fucks sake! Fuck off!

1. The endless fucking cleaning & tidying. I'm hosting on Christmas Day and have to work tomorrow and Monday, so I decided to get a head start on making the house slightly more presentable. Every time I tidy something away, I find another fucking mess to clean and/or tidy. Fuck off!

1. Next door are having a pre Christmas get together with some of their family and they're having roast beef. How do I know this? I can smell it. It smells fucking gorgeous. Unless I can have some too, just fuck off with your pre Christmas roast.

Anyone else? I have plenty of fuck offs for all

Nope sorry. I love it

Althoughhhhhh maybe I could do with less handmade shite being sent home from nursery with my two year old.

@legalseagull oh, I love Christmas and getting together with the family and stuff, but I've just had it with the above. I'll be better on Christmas Eve when I've got my feet up with a (very) large glass of wine.

Wrapping presents, it’s hard bloody work!! It’s given me back ache - and that can fuck off too! Oh and this bastard cold that ds gave me!

What can fuck off for me Is my other half working 9am-8pm like every bastard year.
Leaving me and our 3 kids all day and it becomes overwhelmingly hard.

His days off are the 27th Dec and the 2nd jan and the wanker will sleep for most of those two days

Santa hats. For some reason they really wind me up, much more than Santa itself.

1. Overpriced gift guides in magazines and newspapers. No real human being has ever got a practical gift idea from one of these, ever.
2. Travel hell.
3. Christmas trees on social media. Everybody shares. Nobody cares. I hate to sound tree-ist but they all look the same.
4. Parcel delivery. “We rang the doorbell but you were out”. No, I was in. You just didn’t ring the doorbell. “We’ve left it in a safe place”. Where it’ll get wet/muddy/nicked. “Please book a redelivery.” Please shut up.
5. Gift-giving competitiveness. What should I get them? Is it enough? Is it on par with what they're getting me? What if they get me something and I don't get them something?
6. Scrabbling for the end of the Sellotape
7. Christmas food shopping. Iforgot to book my onlinedelivery slot because I wasn’t thinking about Christmas lunchin August. So I’ll be there on Monday with the rest of the world trying to push a trolley through people fighting over the last bag of spuds or sprouts. It will be really loud, takes ages, and I’ll probably incur some bruises.

The music.
Enough already 😩

Fairytale of New York can do one. If I have to hear that dreary intro one more time I will probably smash my radio (I have to switch it off before the fakey insincere singing starts).

Mariah Carey and Leona Lewis. They can both fuck right off.

Oh, and Robbie Williams- what the fuck with that awful song? Fuck off.

it’s hard bloody work!! It’s given me back ache

Apparently if you stand and wrap on the ironing board it saves your back. I always think “I must try that one year”, usually as I’m hunched over, wrapping on the bed making my back ache

That Kelly Clarkson Christmas song really gets on my tits

1. Christmas music
2. Trains - I have been on one every day this week since Tuesday and they have ALL without fail been cancelled or delayed
3. Everyone making me feel I should do more for Christmas. It’s just a day! People seem to spend more time on prepping for Christmas than I did for my wedding!
4. Mother-in-law just having been admitted to hospital which is horrible for her but means that DH now has a 500 mile round trip to go and see her and I’m not sure if he’ll be back for Christmas- but again - it is only a day.

Everyone chirping ”are you all ready for Christmas?” wherever you go.

Yes. There's just 2 of us. DD is away with her boyfriend, it's a slightly more fancy roast dinner with a cracker!

Looking forward for it to be over!

Having been shopping yesterday .today and lastly on Monday I can finally say Fuck off Sainsburys ! Even though I like the shop .Its hot ,unbearably busy ,ghastly people daring to sneeze over me! Been out for 3 hours shopping ,did homemade soup and wrapped last parcels ,DH wondering why I am tired FFS !

Oh FUCKING SELLOTAPE.

That's what I forgot.

This cold can fuck off I've got shit loads to do and I can't be arsed . I've got my favourite wine & nibbles in but all I want is a nice cup of tea and my pjs on .
Oh and brass bands outside supermarkets I only nipped out for tissues and paracetamol and a bloody brass band outside , not feeling the Christmassy sorry

People going on about the hundreds they have spent on presents. Do you really have to show off? Does it make you feel all warm inside that I don’t have that kind of money?

Wrapping. Specifically losing the scissors every five minutes only to find them stuck under a different parcel, down the sofa or worst of all under my arse and I couldn't even feel it.

What really annoys me, which is probably stupid and severely pathetic, is that people are SO happy and upbeat.

I hate Christmas. I loved it as a kid, but my parents split up a few years ago and it's just ruined everything that was previously a happy time .. so I dread Christmas coming now. No kids yet, but I hope that one day I will have them and start to make happy memories again.

Listening to Christmas songs makes me sadly nostalgic for my childhood, memories that can't even be relived slightly, due to the now-nature of my family unit.

Glitter's a bastard.

Gift guides are stupid (just looking at a stocking filler one and it included items costing hundreds of pounds that are too big to fit in even a giants stocking ffs)

Gifts that play hide an seeks are the worst, I swear I left my dads gift in the porch in plain sight where its been for two months and I have seen it several times every single day but went to get it today to wrap and its completely vanished.

Miserable people for the sake of it urk me too (same with valentines day), like we get it you have no semblance of joy but either join in or piss off and let us have fun without acting like we are the worst people ever and criticizing every bit of whimsy (but thats not count people with terrible tragedies at Xmas like loss of a loved one though, thats totally understandable to not be joyful).

People buying me stuff I don’t want, and me having to reciprocate with £10-50 worth of stuff I didn’t want to go out and buy.

The huge boxes that kids’ presents come in. They don’t even fit in the wrapping paper and I’m already on my third attempt at wrapping the biggest one (first two attempts resulted in losing my temper, ripping the paper, chucking it on the floor and swearing).

Why can’t they make tubs of Roses and Quality Street square? Is it just to fuck with us when we have to struggle to wrap them?

The whole thing.

People telling me it's "all about family not stuff". Yes I know that. But my mum booked a holiday abroad over Christmas for the first time ever assuming DP and I would go away to his mums. He broke up with me that evening.
My dad said they aren't having everyone over for Christmas (although my sister is going)
My brother is away.

So its just me and the DC. Im skint. They've got 2 presents each and that's all.

It's not what I wanted and I'm sick of pretending I'm looking forward to it.

Sorry. This was prob meant to be lighthearted.

I like the Christmas and don't want anything to fuck off except my bastard cold.

Just glitter and music, for me. Everything else is okay - now it's 22nd December.

When it was the 1st November and everything Halloween was swapped out to Christmas stuff, it could all go die in a fire.