Christmas things that can just fuck off already

[PsychoSyd]

1. Cards with glitter on. When you open them and a cascade of glitter falls out. I've just hoovered up the last fucking lot for fucks sake! Fuck off!

1. The endless fucking cleaning & tidying. I'm hosting on Christmas Day and have to work tomorrow and Monday, so I decided to get a head start on making the house slightly more presentable. Every time I tidy something away, I find another fucking mess to clean and/or tidy. Fuck off!

1. Next door are having a pre Christmas get together with some of their family and they're having roast beef. How do I know this? I can smell it. It smells fucking gorgeous. Unless I can have some too, just fuck off with your pre Christmas roast.

Anyone else? I have plenty of fuck offs for all

That sounds shit I'mnot

Could you get a couple of crafty/chocolaty bits from poundland to give them a bit more to open and do on Xmas day?

Perhaps a jigsaw from a charity shop? Just trying to think of some things you can all do together to make it a bit more special for you all.

Food can fuck off. Fucking Pringles, peanuts, Walkers Sensations, mince pies, Iceland fucking white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake. Calories everyfuckingwhere.

Christmas trees on social media. Everybody shares. Nobody cares. I hate to sound tree-ist but they all look the same.

This really made me laugh. Cheers!

I love Christmas but....

That fucking glitter !! I swear the teacher was laughing her head off when she got the kids to make homemade cards. I should have known when dd came home last week covered in glitter and her wheelchair !! Then I open the bag yesterday pull out all the homemade shite beautiful gifts and the glitter flies everywhere !! OH and top tip, don't hoover up glitter cos everytime you use the hoover again the bastering stuff flies back out and sticks to you and you go out looking like a knob.

People who don't listen when you say no presents for my kids and they still turn up with crap !! Then expect some in return. I'm not buying for your 30 year old 'kid'! No presents mean no presents, there's no hidden message saying go buy the shittiest thing you can find.

It's Christmas bloody songs for me.
Dd learned when Santa got stuck up the chimney at nursery. That fucking stupid song is driving me mad plus the actions that go with it. I asked if she knew any other songs the answer was No. She just sings it on repeat.
At 6am this morning I heard her singing the bloody thing in her bed.

Parents divorcing, not talking to my dad and my mum living with us in our tiny house can fuck right off!!!!
I love my mum but Jesus it's hard having one of the kids now sharing our room.

My radio, in the car, is tuned to Magic. They started only playing Christmas songs on 1 December. I don't use the car that much, and I tolerated it for a few days. Now I drive in silence.

The glitter wouldn’t bother me, just adds to the Christmassy effect all round. Although, I HATE glitter at any other time of the year! The only thing that’s bothering me here is hoovering - it’s vacuuming - sorry not sorry.

This is so funny. I agree with the glitter card thing. DS has been going about with glitter all over him for weeks as he won't stop touching the cards!

@Thestrangestthing poor you and poor kid.... can’t your dc share their room with your mom?

I’m utterly fed up of Christmas music. Buble, Leona Lewis, Mariah, Bing Crosby can all get in the bin

I'm Irish we call it hoovering

Excess food
Trying to see everyone in a very short amount of time because DH gets two days off and that's it.
Writing cards.

I'm fine with it this year, totally calm and looking forward to it, but last year I could've happily skipped the lot. It's all so daft when you stop and think about it.

If I could do away with one thing out of all the Christmas things, it would be cards. I only sent about 4 last year, (to elderly relatives who would've been upset to not get one), but this year guilt got to me so I sent everyone one as usual. I think I'll stop properly next year.

I'm watching the start of Christmas with the Kranks and skipping it altogether and going on a holiday sounds like an excellent idea.

Christmas would be better if it was every two years.

People can fuck right off with their "Oooo you all ready for Christmas?" smug shiteness. Does this haggard face look like it's ready?

I lied today and did my best acting today- "Oh yes! I was all wrapped and ready in October!" as I'm sick of feeling like shit when I say "No!" and know that I won't be 'ready' till late on Christmas Eve.

Northerners call it hoovering too.

@katewhinesalot

Thanks. They are 15 and 13 and we have a cupboard full of board games and craft kits so I know we will have plenty to do.
Ds1 is a wannabe photographer and ive bought him the Harry Potter invisibility cloak (he had a light tracing wand for his birthday) so we should be able to kill a couple of hours trying to get photos
Just feeling sorry for myself really. And the closer it gets to Christmas day the more I remember all the plans we had. I am popping into town tomorrow though so will be checking the poundshops for last min bargains.

I'm scottish we also call it hoovering

Cats. Bastard cats attacking the tree, the wrapping paper, vanishing with the sellotape, swiping at the scissors, knocking the Christmas cards over, you the the idea, general catmus (disclaimer I love them really) and of course the shitty Christmas music

Oh and hoovering here too (yorkshire)

it’s my issue don’t worry lol but my Irish DH calls it vacuuming too

I don't know anyone who vacuums. We hoover and we use sellotape, not sticky tape.

I'mnot the cloak sounds like fun. I hope you have a lovely day.

You must've converted him Venus I occasionally vacuum instead of hoover because that's what my Southern DH calls it.

food shopping..never ending..I buy it..they eat it..I have spent so many hours in Morrisons I am turning yellow.

Hearing that our so called Christmas meal that we are actually having on Christmas eve will be 'tapas' style. Instead of a proper fucking roast.

Wtaf fuckity fuck.

I'm wondering how we've managed to screw ourselves over (once again) with regards to Christmas : I insisted on NOT hosting Christmas but instead we have FIL with us on Christmas Day and have to eat crap tapas on Christmas Eve and sleep over at BIL's - guaranteed to be a shit night's sleep.

(I do realise I sound utterly ungrateful - it's because I am!)