Christmas things that can just fuck off already

[PsychoSyd]

1. Cards with glitter on. When you open them and a cascade of glitter falls out. I've just hoovered up the last fucking lot for fucks sake! Fuck off!

1. The endless fucking cleaning & tidying. I'm hosting on Christmas Day and have to work tomorrow and Monday, so I decided to get a head start on making the house slightly more presentable. Every time I tidy something away, I find another fucking mess to clean and/or tidy. Fuck off!

1. Next door are having a pre Christmas get together with some of their family and they're having roast beef. How do I know this? I can smell it. It smells fucking gorgeous. Unless I can have some too, just fuck off with your pre Christmas roast.

Anyone else? I have plenty of fuck offs for all

@starfishmummy- I have a 21 year old (today!🥳) with learning difficulties, who was so overwhelmed with excitement earlier that she had a seizure, then slept on the floor of a cafe for over half an hour. She’s fine now, and has had a wonderful day otherwise!

I feel your pain!

I'm a Southerner and have rarely travelled to the northern lands......I hoover!

Oh god, the scouts "packing" at the tills. I too bung them money not to pack. I just get them to lift the bags into the trolley.
A weird one. My little dog and sellotape. Just the mearest hint of it being used sends her into a frenzy. She was fast off on the sofa and dh was wrapping in the bedroom two floors away. She's been barking for half an hour. And then we have to unwrap the buggers.

The slow drip drip drip torture of Christmas songs on a loop that is the living hell of hospitality and retail staff (and probably other jobs too) from the second bonfire night is over. Saw a Facebook thing the other day that said -

"Allll I want for Christmas is....
Mariah Carey to shut the fuck up"

I concur.

Once a year party drinkers that I have to a) refuse to serve as they can no longer speak enough to actually ask for another drink b) separate them from the colleague they've hated all year and decided tonight's the night to tell them with predictable results, usually closely followed by c) cleaning vomit from floors, toilets and walls. And if I'm really lucky picking up a pint glass that someone used as a vomit bucket (seriously though, good shot actually, not sure I could!) Sometimes with a sprinkling of good old fashioned gobbing off towards me just because I'm there and they want to fight the world. And the sleeper in the corner that his colleagues try and leave without..... Um nope, you've been feeding him tequilas all night, you deal with him.

And finally the arseholes who exhort me at every opportunity to cheer up because it's Christmas. Really?! Is that what all the twinkling lights and piss heads are about, bugger me I didn't notice! 🙄

Spray glitter with hairspray.

A weird one. My little dog and sellotape. Just the mearest hint of it being used sends her into a frenzy.

We had a cat about 15 years ago that would cough and retch if you used sellotape in the same room as him. It was very strange.

@Shockers I hope the rest of the birthday went well.

odd one but these 'cadet' clubs offering to pack your shopping (for money of course) that actually just stand in the way chatting because its a service no one needs.

Yes! I hate hate hate anyone packing for me, they never do it as I would and use up many more bags if allowed to. Seriously, cub/scout/ brownie/guide leaders, there must be better ways of raising money than annoying shoppers into paying you to leave them alone.

Slade and that Christmas in new York thing. Vile.

Oh no 🙈 sorry @PsychoSyd for causing all of the vacuum/hoover comments - it was lighthearted I promise .
I spent bloody hours vacuuming today though .
Merry Christmas ya filthy animals

Seeing Easter eggs on the shelves before it’s even Christmas week.

Perfume and aftershave adverts: oh, just fuck off!!
Wifework at christmas: I've done all the present shopping, wrapped them, written cards, decorated the house, initiated the christmas clean of 2019, also kept dc occupied with crafting, fayres on last few weeks etc...whilst writing a dissertation and stressing about uni. Dh is festive and happy whilst I'm just knackered, oh so knackered. Well, I'm not doing it all next year so fuck off dearest!

My dmum.........already has rung my poor dsis up asking her to travel to her town (10 miles away) to pick up needles for her insulin.......today, Christmas Eve as she recons she doesn’t have enough.......when every day for the last 2 months she has gone past said chemists and will be doing so today.......I despair of her - how the hell can you expect other people to run round after you when they are working full time because basically you can’t be bothered....

And breathe......

YES to glitter. Also lametta, I hate the stuff and think it looks so tacky but DC love it so it goes on the tree every year and we keep finding bits on the carpet until about February...
Artificial trees dropping their plastic 'needles', the whole point is that they don't do that!

Trying to be jolly and cheerful when everybody has small children and babies. Maybe next year?

@VenusTiger it's ok, it was quite entertains finding out what everyone calls using the vacuum cleaner.

For those who care, I'm southern 😀

Entertiaing, dammit!

Ok, typos can just fuck off! 🤣

Grr, entertaining!

@PsychoSyd 🤣🤣

It’s not Christmas til I’ve heard 2000 miles by the pretenders. Rules is rules.