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Original poster

Can’t stop thinking about this comment..

343 replies

sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 20:58

(Sorry if this is a long post but I will only add what is needed for context)

Throughout all of my adult life I have been a size 8 but due to complications with endometriosis and blood clots last year, I got the contraceptive injection to stop my periods and as a result of this my thyroid has become under active and I have now gained a lot of weight and am now a size 14.

This year I have lost a stone and have been trying really hard to get back into shape as I feel so down about the way I look. This was inspired by the goal of a two week holiday abroad that I went to on the 3rd of December.

I got myself lots of new nice clothes and made a real effort to try and build my self confidence. I mostly felt ok in what I was wearing and could feel almost stylish.

However, one day on the holiday I went to a shopping complex on the beach with my DM. I was wearing a swimsuit with a skort cover up over the top and I felt like I looked nice for a change as I felt the swimsuit flattered My curves and the skort was flattering on my stomach.

As I was browsing the shop a lady selling something on a market stall called out to me and said “do you know how disgusting you look from the back?” I at first thought I had miss-heard her and looked confused so she repeated “Do you know how disgusting you look?” I was so upset and confused I tried to walk away but my DM (who was previously looking in a shop) walked over to join me. The women then shouted to her “are you her mother?” To which my mum replied yes. I walked away to escape the situation but my DM approached her and she repeated about how disgusting I looked to her. I walked to a near by bench and cried my eyes out. My mother complained to the manager of the shop her market stall was out but I ended up cutting our shopping day short as I felt so self conscious.

At first I thought it could’ve been because my skirt was short (not indecent - especially for the beach) but there were girls wandering around in their bikinis (and even a girl in a thong bikini standing next to the shop).

I can’t stop thinking about this comment and thinking about how fat and grotesque I must look for a random women to say this. I have never felt more insecure and I don’t know how to speed up the weight loss process more than I can. I can’t come off the injection as it’s the only thing helping with my endometriosis that works. I just feel so disappointed in myself and unhappy.

My mum believes this happened because I have a very prominent hour glass figure (which is true but a wobbly belly) and that the women felt I looked ‘disgusting’ as it was sexier than most others but I feel like my DM is just trying to make me feel better and can’t stop over thinking.

I don’t really know what the point in this post is but maybe to get some tips on how to stop overthinking those cruel words, every time I close my eyes at night to go to bed I just repeat it over and over in my head.

Sorry for the long winded vent post Blush

OP posts:
BillHadersNewWife · 19/12/2019 22:54

Sorry Blush I missed your request for no more flattery! But it's true....I don't think you posted for positive comments. I think you genuinely felt upset and wanted opinions one whether your Mum's thinkiing was right.

It was!

Kathulu · 19/12/2019 22:55

@sunshinegirl13 I think you're being a bit disingenuous "I didn't realise that SO many people would validate me Blush" You don't post a flattering picture of yourself on a national forum, unless you're pretty sure of the response you'll get.

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:55

@billhadersnewwife that’s exactly it. Thank you for understanding!

OP posts:
Louise91417 · 19/12/2019 22:56

You have an absolute perfect figure! I have been different weights throughout my life, never cared about what i weighed, my aim was always to have an hourglass figure..i would say this pig ignorant woman made this vile remark out of jealousyWink

Nannyamc · 19/12/2019 22:57

Your body is your body.
Never ever let anyone take that from you, you need to focus on just you
Best of luck and believe in yourself.
Meerut Christmas

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:57

@Kathulu I honestly didn’t. I wasn’t posting for that. I posted to get my head around what the women had said and for help on how to get it out of my head. I know you’ve already decided my reasonings for posting so I doubt this will change it but I don’t really mind. You’re entitled to your opinion but I know my intent wasn’t motivated by confidence boosting Smile

OP posts:
tiqtok · 19/12/2019 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LoveBlackpool · 19/12/2019 22:58

You look amazing in that picture. I expect she was jealous- your mum was right-you have a proper hourglass figure which a lot of people pay good money for! Put her out of your mind!

DesertSky · 19/12/2019 22:58

Oh my word, incredible figure! Unbelievably sexy and I bet she made this comment cos she 100% believed you’d had surgery (which she thinks is disgusting) to achieve your hourglass shape! Hold your head up, most celebs aim for your curves!

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:59

I am going to leave the thread now as people have turned this into something it wasn’t and you have helped me to understand that it was her being odd and nothing to do with my weight/what I was wearing. Thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 23:00

@tiqtok really don’t see what I would gain from lying about this but ok!

OP posts:
keepingbees · 19/12/2019 23:01

I'm a size 12-14 and I've had comments all my life about my size. They stay with you so I understand.
You are stunning and I would love your hourglass figure.
She was either jealous or unhinged. Or both. Don't give her another moments thought.

Allusernamesalreadyused · 19/12/2019 23:02

@Sunshinegirl. You look fabulous. Don't let that total moron upset you. It was obviously jealousy. Crikey who talks like that to complete strangers. The mind boggles🤔☹️. Chin up and be proud of yourself

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 23:02

I am going to request MNHQ to delete this thread as I feel people are going to turn nasty with saying I’m lying/stealth boosting and I don’t want to leave thinking of that tonight instead of the support the rest of you have given me.

OP posts:
ISmellBabies · 19/12/2019 23:02

OP you look fucking amazing! A total knockout. You'd have to be totally deranged (or just trying really hard) to find something nasty to say about it.
I think this woman had a huge internalised misogyny problem that she projects. It doesn't reflect on you at all. Even if you weren't completely gorgeous, which you are, she'd have absolutely no right or reason to shout abuse at you about how attractive or otherwise she finds you. It's outrageous conduct. Don't give her another thought.

Skidzer · 19/12/2019 23:03

Odd to post a photo I agree.

Chrysanthemum5 · 19/12/2019 23:04

Could it have been a mistranslation eg she thought she was saying something else? Realistically you look lovely so I really doubt she meant disgusting. Anyway, ignore and move on

BaubleTheLumpOfCoal · 19/12/2019 23:10

Op, it's not inconceivable - there's some right nutters out there.

But the posting a picture and the faux 'I didn't believe all you people would say I'm gorgeous Blush' comes across a bit Facebook attention seeking post.

Someone genuinely insecure wouldn't dream of putting themselves out there, in a swimsuit, on a public forum.
I mean, what if some of the said nutters ^ came on a stripped your figure down too? I wouldn't put myself in that position.

Caledoniahasmyheartforever · 19/12/2019 23:12

@sunshinegirl13 don’t ask for your thread to be deleted, unfortunately mumsnet is full of troll hunters - which is against the rules, their posts will be deleted. It’s very likely that they, like the woman who was rude to you are jealous!

BaubleTheLumpOfCoal · 19/12/2019 23:13

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Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 23:15

@BaubleTheLumpOfCoal I am very insecure about my weight and not everyone is the same in their reactions to things, for me I feel most insecure in public or around others slimmer than myself. That picture has no comparison to others smaller than myself, no one can identify its me from it and it was easy to show the length of my outfit. I’m wearing a swim dress in that photo which is very similar to a regular dress. I didn’t upload a photo in a bikini or regular swimsuit. I genuinely didn’t think that people would react like that because I don’t think that of myself. I thought the focus would be on the words the women said! It was honestly to show the length in context.

OP posts:
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 23:16

This reply has been deleted

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tiqtok · 19/12/2019 23:17

unfortunately mumsnet is full of troll hunters - which is against the rules.

Errr, what?

bluebella4 · 19/12/2019 23:19

Your figure is fecking amazing!! When people make nasty comments it's usually their crap.

I'm a size 16, have 4 kids. Workout 3 times a week. I have gave up trying to loose weight. But I feel healthy and fit. I'm curvy but very big boned (masculine as they would say) but that's down to my PCOS.. Big bum and big shoulders. It's taking me years to accept my body.

Everyone is different! Please be kind to yourself, what your body is going through is hard enough.

Wowserme · 19/12/2019 23:21

I really struggle e to understand why some of you NASTY people have to drag someone down when they’re feeling low.
It’s totally unnecessary and uncalled for, you must be extremely unhappy to want to lash out in this way and you should feel totally ashamed of yourselves. 😡

Sunshine girl you look fabulous, but you need to realise there are a lot of cruel, miserable, sad people in this world, and their opinions count for absolutely nothing!
They’re obviously very unhappy and feel the need to lash out at others. You really must learn to shrug your shoulders and empathise with them as they must be leading incredibly sad and lonely lives.
You are BEAUTIFUL and please don’t forget that. 💐