Is anyone else who didn't grow up with Santa finding it a bit uncomfortable?

[OctopusNow]

I was ok with Santa as a story and never tried to make out it was real. Obviously there are loads of books about Santa and he learns about it at nursery. I've even visited a little grotto with DS.

This year however, DH wants to do the whole leaving a drink out for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph and for some reason it's a step too far and is making me feel really uncomfortable.

I don't want to make DS think that an actual bloke is really going to turn up in his house, it's a bit weird.

ADH thinks it's normal because he grew up with it but I didn't. I'm wondering whether to just make it a thing for DS and DH to do together but DH seems to think I'm being unreasonable not to throw myself into the lies.

I wouldn't say anything contradictory, I just wouldn't be involved or talk about it.
If DS talks about Santa at the moment I show interest and don't deny it, I just don't push it.

Is it just me that feels this way?

Why didn’t you have Santa and are you in the UK?

Father Christmas is such an important part of a child's Christmas. It's what makes it magical and exciting. Don't do it for you do it for you son

Don’t read so much into it, your DS certainly won’t, he’ll just enjoy the magic and the memories will stay with him

I didn't have santa growing up either (in UK) and I can see where you're coming from. DH shouldn't force you to take part if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Try and convince him it can be a special thing that he and DS have together.

It’s not for your benefit but for your child’s.

We didn,t really leave a mince pie for sant, You don,t have to do that but then again your child won,t want to do this forever.y DD probably will even though she doesn, believe. (she is 12) but it,s just part of the routine.

I had a slightly alternative childhood, so there are a number of quite normal things that feel a bit weird to me (e.g. using Mum and Dad rather than first names).

But my feelings aren't more important than dp's, for whom those things feel normal. We sat down and agreed what things would be my way and what would be his way. That includes doing Santa. I think you are being a bit unfair agreeing to to Santa in your family but then refusing to properly participate.

What helped me to decide is remembering how I sometimes felt being the 'weird kid' who couldn't join in with normal experiences of my friends. I think it is worth me putting up with the discomfort of not repeating my own childhood norms to save my dc from that. Obviously I wouldn't do something I felt was wrong, but talking about Santa doesn't really harm anyone.

The dc are now 8 and 6 and the things that once made me a bit uncomfortable feel very normal now, and I value being able to join in with community events and so on.

I was always so excited on Christmas Eve night and Christmas morning as a child about Father Christmas visiting.....I agree that that it made it magical and I have such wonderful memories of it.

I think you're projecting about the bloke turning up at your house thing. If your son was legitimately concerned about that then fair enough but I think for most children that wouldn't even cross their mind.

If you're in the UK, then Father Christmas is a big part of our cultural heritage. I have amazing childhood memories and want that magic and wonder for my own children. I think it's absolutely fair enough of your DH to want to share some of that magic too and I'd say you're not looking at it from a child's perspective.

All your DH wants you to do is to join in putting a carrot and mince pie on a plate and say it’s for Santa, not dance around naked at the village fair pledging allegiance to the devil. Surely the magic for your DS trumps you you feeling ‘uncomfortable’ . It really isn’t a big deal.

Just a bit of fun though surely? What exactly is it that makes you not comfortable?

My parents were not the most imaginative or Disney type at all but they always left a glass of Sherry and a mince pie for father Christmas and a carrot for rudolph.

Im 50 now and still have the memories of going to bed on Christmas eve and sneaking out of bed to gaze out of the window, trying to see any movement in the sky.
As an only child with no family other than my parents and my mums very elderly aunt, Christmas wasn't great, but waiting for father Christmas was definitely the best and most exciting bit.

I never once worried about a strange person coming into the house.

I wasn’t bought up with Santa and I never did it with my kids. Mostly because I didn’t even know what I was meant to do.

(Some of you seem not to realise Christmas is a Christian festival and non Christians don’t celebrate it)

My DC did have presents under a tree.

They didn’t have a magical experience. Nor did they have tears and tantrums :)

And not did we spend money we didn’t have.

I do think Santa is really creepy.

I worked out the santa thing aged 4 when a parent crashed in with the gifts in the night!

Am v uncomfortable with the lies, went along with it because DH wanted to! DC confused once started to add 2 and 2, and has become more difficult.

Do you see many grown ups walking around traumatised by putting out a mince pie for a fictional bloke in a red costume ?

I suggest you look a bit further afield for things to get disturbed by.

Thumbs Up AnyFucker

@ BlueGingerale - DHs family is Muslim and he was a child in the ME. They had Santa!

Fatherchristmas/st Nick/Santa Clause is fine for me. But no way am I goin there with Elf on the shelf. at Least St Nicholas was a real person.

@BlueGingerale
Some of you seem not to realise that the U.K. is a Christian country. and in a Christian country Christmas is celebrated. Many people that live in the U.K. don't celebrate Christmas and I don't think that's frowned upon.

Octopusnow
If you feel uncomfortable with it you don't have to do anything at all, maybe try and discuss with DH why you feel uncomfortable and try and find a compromise

I was told by a slightly older child that Santa was a myth.

I was about 5 at the time, & was very upset & angry that my parents had lied to me.
I never forgave them, & brought up my family to know that it was simply a fairy tale.

Just let your DH do all the organising.

Santa is not a thing in my culture (Western European) therefore I don't really get involved. I am not sure what people don't understand about that...

I find it incrediably odd that you didnt grow up with Santa. How on earth did you celebrate Christmas if you didn't do Santa? Where did you think that your presents came from?

Sorry to sound rude, but Im genuinely interested as I don't think Ive ever met anyone who 'didnt do Santa'.

If you don’t want to do it , then don’t , talk to your husband and agree a compromise . FWIW our dc were bought up with FC as a story figure , we used to do multiple grottos / goofy Santa at DLP / santa steam trains the works . Our dc had / still have ‘ magical’ christmases , they didn’t need to believe in FC for that to be the case .

I'm not a Christian and celebrate Christmas. Christmas isn't about Jesus to me but Santa did feature.

manonblackbeak , don’t be ridiculous the presents come from the person who gives them , what happens in your house do you stop getting presents once you realise FC isn’t real ?