Is anyone else who didn't grow up with Santa finding it a bit uncomfortable?

[OctopusNow]

I was ok with Santa as a story and never tried to make out it was real. Obviously there are loads of books about Santa and he learns about it at nursery. I've even visited a little grotto with DS.

This year however, DH wants to do the whole leaving a drink out for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph and for some reason it's a step too far and is making me feel really uncomfortable.

I don't want to make DS think that an actual bloke is really going to turn up in his house, it's a bit weird.

ADH thinks it's normal because he grew up with it but I didn't. I'm wondering whether to just make it a thing for DS and DH to do together but DH seems to think I'm being unreasonable not to throw myself into the lies.

I wouldn't say anything contradictory, I just wouldn't be involved or talk about it.
If DS talks about Santa at the moment I show interest and don't deny it, I just don't push it.

Is it just me that feels this way?

we were pretty poor growing up, and knowing gifts were bought by mum and dad tended to mean we didn't ask for things that we knew they couldn't afford

I think my mum made a rod for her own back by saying Father Christmas brought everything. When people sstarted saying he wasn't real I said he had to be because there was no way my parents could afford the presents! My mum used to save up the child benefit all year to afford Christmas (and my birthday presnets) but I didn't know that.

As for the chimney thing, when ds was small and we stayed at my mum's for Christmas we just said we were leaving the patio door open for Father Christmas as her house doesn't have a chimney.

For a few years he had two visits, because we did St Nick and the sweets on 6 December too.

If you have to rely on Santa to make Christmas magical, you're doing it wrong.
Yes, I agree with this

I'm a mum of 3 adult kids 21, 20 and 18.
We did FC as a.mix of both how me & dg was brught up. I never looked at it as lieing to my kids and when they all found out FC was a fantasy figure that didn't really exist they all took it in thier stride and grew up ok with no issues because of it (or the lies we told as some people feel).
We.moved around with the army FC used a chimney on some houses with fireplaces, had a magic key with others without. We brought in a few local traditions when we lived overseas too, so the kids would be the same as thier school friends.
He left stockings with gifts in,non our house. Some people have FC leave other gifts.
We have our own traditions that we still follow with my 3 adult "children".
They still leave a note on Xmas eve, these days before they go out clubbing or to the pub with thier mates. These days it usually starts with Hey Santa ....
They leave a carrot and mince pie land like the previous poster the carrot gets a bashing and the mince pie eaten with a few crumbs left. The Bailey's or sherry gets downed by me of dh. We compose little note back. HO Hoing at how jolly the many drinks have made FC.
On Xmas eve the Christmas Fairy also comes to visit our house. She leaves new Xmas PJs for everyone that we put on before bed and wear Xmas morning when we open our stockings from FC. These days I wait for the kids to go out partying Xmas eve then leave the Christmas Fairy Parcels containing thier new PJs on thier beds. Again at some point they must have realised a fairy does not fly in and leave them on thier beds. I don't recall ever being asked but I know that they now know it's me and not a real fairy, even after coming home smashed from the pub!
Obviously we sound bonkers but we all hold down decent jobs/study at uni and seem to interact well with society on a normal day to day basis.
No one actually believes it but it is just a family custom and tradition that They loved so much as kids they carry it on now.

I have friends who married Europeans and have raised thier kids doing European traditions with leaving shoes (I think) for St Nic (who also does not exist) to fill and they blend that in with UK FC traditions too.

There isn't a right or wrong way to do Xmas but i don't get the angst of seeing it as lieing to your children. I see it more as acting out a fantasy story than lies. Its something thats meant to bring magic and fun.
No 2 families do Xmas the exact same even in the UK. Adapt both yours and your DHs traditions and make a few of your own for your own family too in a way that suits you all and maybe reflects a little of where you live.

I didn't grow up with Christmas not because of religious reasons but because my mother was crippled with MH issues and lived in her own little world, so growing up I was lucky if she remembered to buy food on the day let alone xmas decs and presents. When I had my DS i started to celebrate Christmas again but it was only when I met my DP and he showed me how magical Christmas can truly be for children. He grew up with very little but his DM made it magical for them. Our first xmas together 11 years ago we went to stay with his DP's and they absolutely spoilt my DS. His DD woke up late at night to take a bite out of the mince pie and carrots whilst DM jingled bells in the garden and asked DS if he heard the reindeers. It actually made me cry at all the effort that they went to. I dont have any advice but I just hope that everyon has a happy and blessed Christmas with their loved ones.

I grew up LOVING Christmas, desperately excited by it all - the food, decorations, presents, songs.

We didn't do Santa. I knew other kids thought he was real but the whole thing never made sense to me.

My Mum did not encourage us to believe in Santa as she felt weird lying to us. She never would have said outright "Santa isn't real" but she also never really mentioned him in the lead-up to Christmas.

We knew presents came from her and others, it was still beyond exciting. I could hardly sleep every Christmas Eve.

I meant his DF not DD

I never knew people 'didn't do Santa'. Assumed all those who celebrated Christmas did.

When i was young (70's) I'm sure noone really believed in santa beyond about 5. We believed in the concept but not that a real man broke into our houses. Im very skeptical that 8 or 9 year old really believe and aren't just keeping their parents happy.

Not doing FC as an absolute real person is not the same as not doing it at all . When my dc were small FC did play a part in our Christmas , he just wasn’t the main event

I am intrigued by those Christian groups who don't celebrate Christmas. I would love to know more.

Santa is just yet another, white, bearded guy in the sky who grants wishes.

Tell them God/s don’t exist either and you’ll do your kid a favour.

Happy holidays!

I am intrigued by those Christian groups who don't celebrate Christmas. I would love to know more.

Do you mean don't celebrate Christmas or don't do Santa?

If the former, some Protestants at certain points in history have considered Christmas too Catholic or too pagan (due to its pagan roots). Some more devout sects today would rather follow biblical festivals like Passover, Purim, etc but celebrate them in light of the messiah having come, rather than 'yet to come'. They don't consider Christmas to be a festival ordained by God, even though obviously the actual story is in the Bible.

If the latter, some Christians think Santa detracts from what they see as the true message of Jesus' birth and don't want him involved in their Christmas celebrations at all.

Irridium I have never spotted the similarity before you mentioned it "Santa is just yet another, white, bearded guy in the sky who grants wishes."

This post has made me realise that I "use" the idea of FC for entertainment. In the same way I use the Easter bunny to make my DC run about, but with FC it used to be a nice afternoon trip out walking through a few nativity scenes with a selection box gift. My DC are too old to sit on FC knee now!

Im still getting away with elf on a shelf

@helpfulperson I absolutely believed beyond 5, in the 70s. Why on earth would you assume that everyone of a similar age to you has the exact same experience?

Santa is just yet another, white, bearded guy in the sky who grants wishes.

I suspect that's part of the reason the nuns at my convent school in the 70s weren't keen on Santa -- he was the wrong, white, wish-granting beardie in the sky, and a distraction from the real white wish-granting beardie in the sky.

If the latter, some Christians think Santa detracts from what they see as the true message of Jesus' birth

Pretty much our nuns' line. We were supposed to be meditating on the Baby Jesus in the manger and not getting excited about Santa delivering us a Girls' World and a brunette Sindy.

I loved Sindy

Oh Sindy, with your real lashes, how I loved thee

Let him believe. It's truly magical to see a child's face light up on Christmas morning and see santa has eaten the cookie, drunk his milk and left presents. Leading up to Christmas getting all excited, meeting Santa or watching him in films. My boy is 3 and super excited. We've met him 3 times already this year and he's going to his nursery next week. Every father Christmas has been just as exciting as the previous for him.

I had magical Christmases as a child and my favourite part was the stocking. But I never “ believed” in Father Christmas, I don’t know if I was meant to. I suppose it was similar to Cinderella or whatever, I liked the story but didn’t think it was real.
I was a creative imaginative Child, but sense told me that we didn’t have a chimney, and reindeer don’t fly, and all the presents wouldn’t fit on one sleigh etc. But it still felt magical to hang a stocking and washed up with it filled with my favourite stuff.
So it’s not a black and white believe the story or stark facts scenario.

@onesnowballshort Just to clarify even though this isnt to do with OP. Jehovahs Witnesses dont have a different Bible, that would be the Mormons. Plus they are Christian's as they believe in Jesus x

I find it incrediably odd that you didnt grow up with Santa. How on earth did you celebrate Christmas if you didn't do Santa? Where did you think that your presents came from?

My presents came from my parents and grandparents. I actually didn't encounter the line that all presents came from Santa until I was an adult and I think it's a bit shit. How do you explain why kids from poor families get so much less than rich kids?

"and I think it's a bit shit. How do you explain why kids from poor families get so much less than rich kids?"

By the time children begin to notice those differences they're starting to ask questions about Santa anyway, same as when they start realising it's unlikely Santa can go to every home in the world even if, as my DM assured us, he has helpers and different countries are in different time zones :)

I see it as fiction/ fantasy rather than lying.

I'm not sure whether DS(9) still believes, he's certainly a critical thinker and has announced doubts randomly mid-year. I'm not asking and tend to follow a "what do you think?" line. I think it's healthy for children to learn to work out their thoughts and evidence. DS(6) definitely believes. When he was told a firm "No!" to an X-box, he announced that he'd ask Santa instead! I have tried to point out that Santa can't override parental consent but he thinks I'm bluffing

Cleaning up the hearth and setting out a mince pie and drink of Baileys (Santa needs the sustainence and variety at each house to maintain the energy required to work his way around the world ) and then the DC's coming down to ashy footprints, and crumbs of carrots and mince pies is just fun. The awkward bit is doing the deed between 00:30 and 5:00 when one DC goes to sleep and the other wakes up.

The world is too serious for children. They have a narrow curriculum and not enough time to free play and let their imaginations run riot. A bit of family fantasy is a good thing.

@WingingItSince1973 Thank you for replying, even though I don't agree with you though! I wasn't talking about Mormons. JW's use a different version of the Bible, maybe that is a better way to put it. They do not believe in the Trinity, so their beliefs about Jesus are significantly different from mainstream Christianity.
Don't know anything re Santa though!

@Chocmallows and @MrsPelligrinoPetrichor, fellow Sindy fans! A far superior doll to the Barbie. My brunette Sindy was kick-ass. She and my best friend’s blonde Sindy used to mug her little brother’s Action Man and hijack his jeep. Carjacking Sindy!