Is anyone else who didn't grow up with Santa finding it a bit uncomfortable?

[OctopusNow]

I was ok with Santa as a story and never tried to make out it was real. Obviously there are loads of books about Santa and he learns about it at nursery. I've even visited a little grotto with DS.

This year however, DH wants to do the whole leaving a drink out for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph and for some reason it's a step too far and is making me feel really uncomfortable.

I don't want to make DS think that an actual bloke is really going to turn up in his house, it's a bit weird.

ADH thinks it's normal because he grew up with it but I didn't. I'm wondering whether to just make it a thing for DS and DH to do together but DH seems to think I'm being unreasonable not to throw myself into the lies.

I wouldn't say anything contradictory, I just wouldn't be involved or talk about it.
If DS talks about Santa at the moment I show interest and don't deny it, I just don't push it.

Is it just me that feels this way?

Sorry to sound rude, but Im genuinely interested as I don't think Ive ever met anyone who 'didnt do Santa'

Sorry to sound rude but it's Father Christmas.

My parents 'did' father Christmas when I was a child. I was scared of the idea of somebody being in the house at night and i used to sleep with my head under the duvet. I also felt confused and a bit betrayed about my mum insisting that he existed, when I already knew that he didn't. It honestly felt like an odd thing for her to be worked up about.
In our house now and for my 6 year old daughter we enjoy the idea of father Christmas as a mythical figure who represents the merryment of the yule season. We do stockings, and enjoy everything about it. OP, you will not loose anything by saying that Santa is a myth! I find it awkward when parents get worked up about insisting he is real. Of course children have vivid and wonderful imaginations. We also need to encourage critical individual thinking and an ability to find enjoyment and magic in tangible things.

We don’t do FC. But we do Say it’s a wonderful story and wouldn’t it be amazing if it were true (and don’t tell the kids at school so I don’t have irate parents calling me)

Children's imaginations absolutely should be allowed to develop through play but the children's imagination not adults insisting a myth is real,that is just odd.

Thinking about it the Father Christmas/Santa tradition must seem very bizarre to somebody who never came across it in childhood. I can understand how an adult learning about it may find it a bit uncomfortable or even creepy. When it’s been part of your childhood from a young age and a cultural norm you don’t really consider this.

I think it’s lovely that you’re willing to go along with something that doesn’t come easy to you in order to add something to your DS’ and DH’d Christmas.
I think the way you’ve decided to handle it sounds really lovely.
I can totally understand where you are coming from, it’s not my experience, I grew up as a 100% Father Christmas believer brought up in a practicing Catholic household.
I don’t think there is any right or wrong way, but what suits you and your family.

Thinking about it the Father Christmas/Santa tradition must seem very bizarre to somebody who never came across it in childhood

I'm not sure it's so much a case of never having come across it, it's the fact that some families just don't include the scenario where adults are telling children FC is a real person and of you don't believe you don't get presents etc.

Typestypes which Christians don't celebrate Christmas?

Jehovah's witnesses?

Quakers don’t necessarily celebrate it either.

Thank you both Jehovah's witnesses wouldn't be considered Christian by all Christians (they would themselves obviously but have some quite distinct beliefs and a different Bible). I would consider Quakers to be Christian but I know they don't necessarily think that themselves! I've read that a belief in God is not essential for them.
Maybe someone should just start a Santa religion, that would probably gain massive support!

I think Brethren don’t celebrate Father Christmas.

Butterisbest you’ve really been overcome by the Christmas spirit, haven’t you?! 🤣😝

I grew up in a strict denomination that claimed that Christmas was a pagan festival (which it largely is) therefore should be shunned. Our Christmas consisted of a sermon of how everyone who was rejoicing at opening their presents was going to hell I am no longer a member of that church nor am I even a Christian but even as a child it was strange to me the extent that children actually believed that Santa came down their chimney. Any I read a thread this week about those traumatized/upset when they discovered that Santa isn't real.

As a side note there are a number of Christian denominations that don't celebrate xmas, such As independent methodist, Plymouth Brethren, free presbyterian, certain baptists.

My parents "did" Santa but I never ACTUALLY believed in it - figured it out for sure age 6 when I asked him for a present without telling my parents, and didn't get it.

Mumsnet always surprises me by highlighting how what you assume everyone does (because it was normal in your family growing up) they in fact don't.

I thought everyone tried to convince their kids Santa was real for as long as they possibly can.

itis that's exactly what I prefer from my 6 year old. Ask questions, look for evidence, decide. If a child is actively asking questions, they shouldn't be lied to and told that it's magic!

I'm happy to go along with fantasy and make believe but outright lying just feels wrong to me
You’re overthinking it completely. I don’t know anyone who thinks ill of their parents for having them believe in Santa. That’s just what people do- it’s the fun and innocence of childhood. Do you ruin the magic of the Easter bunny/tooth fairy/etc too?

Do you ruin the magic of the Easter bunny/tooth fairy/etc too?

Bloody hell,don't tell me people encourage their kids to believe a big white rabbit leaves Easter eggs, seriously?!

Do you ruin the magic of the Easter bunny/tooth fairy/etc too?

That's just soppy adult sentimentalising/fetishisation of childhood. It's posters on Mn I see getting ridiculously het up about Ruining the Magic and the Loss of Innocence. DS isn't any less excited by going to see a grotto Santa or writing him a letter or leaving out mincepies -- or all the other fun of Christmas decorations and presents and special food and Christmas films etc because he thinks of Santa Claus in much the same way as he thinks of Harry Potter or Buzz Lightyear.

If discovering that Santa Claus doesn't exist 'ruins the magic', surely you're the one who has set it up that way through feeding your child a particular line?

May I ask, as an aside, when did the Easter Bunny become a 'thing' in the UK? I'm in my early 50s and never heard of such a thing until the internet came along and I read about the American tradition of a rabbit leaving Easter eggs.

I expect that many of those talking about 'magic' like me are doing it in the same way we would talk about the magic within children's stories, Hansel and Gretel, Sleeping Beauty etc. With a wink or equivalent child appropriate explanation that fiction can be fun. I have never concocted a weird explanation for Father Christmas and presents are labelled from family members so they can be thanked afterwards.

The Easter bunny hides eggs in our house with clues and it's 30min+ entertainment for the children. He doesn't have to appear in any form, it's just make-believe. Mine wear bunny ears and I create the weirdest clues I can think of maybe it's for me too

May I ask, as an aside, when did the Easter Bunny become a 'thing' in the UK?

Don't know about the UK as I grew up in Ireland, but my dad was certainly laying a trail for us to find eggs from the Easter Bunny in the garden when I was a child in the 1970s. Again, we didn't literally believe a giant rabbit was dashing about with a basket, it was, as @Chocmallows says, a fun fairy story, the same way we'd trade spooky stories at Hallowe'en without anyone literally believing that if you hid in the church at night on All Souls, you would see everyone who had died that year in the parish attending a ghostly Mass.

I find it incrediably odd that you didnt grow up with Santa. How on earth did you celebrate Christmas if you didn't do Santa? Where did you think that your presents came from?

My parents are Christians, we didn't do Santa. Our presents came from family and friends, and we went to church on Christmas morning to celebrate the birth of Christ, so there's still a strong element of celebration, wonder and joy. Plus, tbh we were pretty poor growing up, and knowing gifts were bought by mum and dad tended to mean we didn't ask for things that we knew they couldn't afford.

I'm not a Christian now, I'm not really that keen to teach DD that Santa is a literally real person, rather than a character like Peppa Pig. If you have to rely on Santa to make Christmas magical, you're doing it wrong.