Is someone weeing on my chair?

[SoapAndFury]

So, I know it's highly unlikely that someone had actually we'd on my chair, but I have a mystery that needs solving!

In the past six weeks or so there have been 2 instances of a wet patch appearing on my chair at work that i am sure is wee!

Both times it happened I have noticed when I've stood up i have a mysterious wet patch on my bum cheek and it stinks of urine.

I checked both times to make sure I hadn't wet myself without realising (covering all the bases), and definitely not!

Also checked to see if my scarf or coat could have had an accidental dunk down the toilet and wet my chair, but all clothes (except the bum) are bone dry.

So please help me mumsnetters to identify what on earth this could be, or I will just have to put it down to the phantom pisser, and put up with a pissy patch every few weeks

😂😂 we're halfway there ....

I recon it is some poor bugger with a weak bladder and will never own up to it . So I would try a different tact , watch for people changing there trousers / skirts half way through the day or spending a long time in the loos ( drying their cloths )
I agree with marking your chair but I would make it really obvious but impossible or at least hard to remove something like this
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B073Y83RJQ/ref=twister_B073Y6GZLM?psc=1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=mumsnetforu03-21
fastened on with loads of cable ties .

🤢

People pissing themselves on purpose is a not massively uncommon fetish. I reckon you’ve got someone in your office who gets off on it. Either that or a weak bladdered person having accidents.

You need to set up a camera.
one of your colleagues is peeing in your work chair.
grim.

I'd be surprised if it was someone with a weak bladder. Maybe my faith in humanity is misplaced but I think most people would not be so selfish as to make their continence issues someone else's problem. Especially if it drew at least one person's attention to the fact that someone in the office has a medical issue.

My money is on either an office perv or, more likely that it's not actually urine. A colleague dropped a bottle of water on the carpet not too long ago. The stain and smell it brought from all the ingrained dirt was horrific and that was only water.

You could get in trouble if you were caught but if it were me, I'd be setting up some sort of surveillance. You wouldn't be able to take any findings to your manager or HR but at least if you needed to put in a complaint if it was a perv you would know where to direct their attention.

I’m amassed at how good natured you are being about this OP I need to know what is going on here!!

It's water. Your bum pressing on it is squeezing it back out of the fabric and it's yellow on the tissue cause the chair is old and dusty and dirty.

When people clean carpets the water is often black or yellow but rarely have they been pissed on.

My money's on ceiling leak.

If you're going to mark chairs, it should be the ones which have got wet, so you can avoid them in future...

Cover the chair seat in a plastic covering. Something like a shower cap but big enough for a chair seat. Your bum will stay dry, your chair can't be interfered with without it being obvious, and any liquid will stay on the top and can be sucked up a pipette for testing

Also, unlikely someone would still do it if it didn't sink in. Also its obvious it's your chair.

Leave it on for ages, they'll gey bored.

Any office cams?

How strange! I hope you find out what it is and where its coming from op. Not just for your sake but for all of our too 😂

Ok! I have got a new chair and marked the bottom with nail varnish. I've also put in a request for maintenance to check the ceiling. Not quite ready to invest in a hidden camera!

I promise to keep you all up to date with any progress. It might be a slow burner though- the last time it happened was about 6 weeks ago, so we shall see what happens!

''woooooahhh....we're halfway there.....''

''woooooahhh....pissing on a chair.....''

Someone has a little bottle of wee and is putting it on your chair to make you think you have wet yourself. Maybe they are crazy mad or just jealous of you - try sniffing all their fingers.

Also voting for "someone is having the occasional accident and swapping their chair with yours".
Are you often out of the office for a period of time?

Gross!

could it be sweat. when I was learning to drive I would get very sweaty trousers. are you nervous. but if you've checked your clothes probably not.

Is it possible that someone had peed on the chair in the past (accidents can happen!) and that some liquid dropping for example from the ceiling soaked the chair so much that the old urine was kind of sucked up from the depths of the cushion and brought to the surface?

Fresh urine doesn’t smell so easily when it’s not so hot in there, so if it really has that pungent pee smell it was there for a while.

keep them all next to a radiator for a bit and see what emerges perhaps

100% someone swapping the chair (and the cardigan).

Are you sure it's not damn in the morning but you don't notice until lunchtime?

Could it be the cleaners (or cleaners with a dog that is marking where the puppy went?).

Are you close to a water dispenser? Someone's spilling their water bottle all over your chair?

@Patroclus 😂😂😂😂