Is someone weeing on my chair?

[SoapAndFury]

So, I know it's highly unlikely that someone had actually we'd on my chair, but I have a mystery that needs solving!

In the past six weeks or so there have been 2 instances of a wet patch appearing on my chair at work that i am sure is wee!

Both times it happened I have noticed when I've stood up i have a mysterious wet patch on my bum cheek and it stinks of urine.

I checked both times to make sure I hadn't wet myself without realising (covering all the bases), and definitely not!

Also checked to see if my scarf or coat could have had an accidental dunk down the toilet and wet my chair, but all clothes (except the bum) are bone dry.

So please help me mumsnetters to identify what on earth this could be, or I will just have to put it down to the phantom pisser, and put up with a pissy patch every few weeks

@KronksSpinachPuffs I thought I read that on here.

Is there any metal parts on the chair that could be a bit rusty and water is dripping from somewhere. I'd mark the chair underneath and also insist on a new chair.

If it isn't your colleagues could it be the cleaners that come in the evening? Perhaps they bring a toddler or a dog with them?

Clutching a straws really.

Place marking

I've usually got an answer for everything, wtf!

Say you secretly filmed it yesterday and you know who is the chair pisser and they have until the end of tomorrow to stop the pissing, clean the chair and apologise. You might need to practice saying this with conviction, maybe a evil stare at the end of the speech would help.

I’m intrigued! Offices can be such exciting places

Try a different chair for a while because if it’s wet inside somehow then you sitting on it will cause the wetness to come out.

Is everyone out at lunch or just you?

I have no idea what this could be but am totally overinvested in solving the mystery...

I'm in the chair swapping camp.

Actually this has reminded me of a flight a few months ago. A teenage girl on the other side of the aisle about 2 rows back called for the attention of the attendant - we had all just got on and taking seats etc and she was saying my seat's all wet and they were getting her tissues.

They were saying 'Oh somebody probably spilled a drink as they were getting off the previous flight," but I did wonder if a kid had had an accident or something.

In that case I would have otherwise suspected the air con vents.

I got as far as reading the first post by @Wellmet and thought I'd end up wetting myself laughing!

Sorry - will go back and read the rest of the thread!

Where I used to work, just prior to my joining there had been a mystery of a phantom shoe wee-er. Someone would wee in shoes that were left in the office overnight (many women kept a pair of heels under their desk).

After a lot of investigation it was discovered that it was a guy in HR who was responsible. I guess it was some kind of fetish...

Whatever about the current predicament that @SoapAndFury find themselves in, did you really feel that the story you told @Maremaremare needed sharing with the group??

Bring a cushion immediately to protect your bum geek from foreign urine!

(that was supposed to be a bit [ill] and not really having a go at you Maremaremare)

Placemarking 😉

Dont think that was piss, Mare

Blatantly Pee Marking

Marking the chair is definitely an idea, so it’s obvious it’s been changed.. hanging a cardi won’t work it can be put on the other. Nanny cams another good idea.. even just propping your phone on record somewhere to see if someone takes it a walk. More so when it’s half way through the day not like first thing in the morning I’d have thought a leak would have it always wet.

Definitive place mark

WTF is fanny condensation 😂

It mist be a leak....I hope!

@WatchaMaCallit - I just mentioned that story because someone up thread said that getting bodily fluids on a woman is a known "perv thing". There are definitely some weird people out there!

At least we can be sure it wasnt Prince Andrew if it is a case of condensation.