Is someone weeing on my chair?

[SoapAndFury]

So, I know it's highly unlikely that someone had actually we'd on my chair, but I have a mystery that needs solving!

In the past six weeks or so there have been 2 instances of a wet patch appearing on my chair at work that i am sure is wee!

Both times it happened I have noticed when I've stood up i have a mysterious wet patch on my bum cheek and it stinks of urine.

I checked both times to make sure I hadn't wet myself without realising (covering all the bases), and definitely not!

Also checked to see if my scarf or coat could have had an accidental dunk down the toilet and wet my chair, but all clothes (except the bum) are bone dry.

So please help me mumsnetters to identify what on earth this could be, or I will just have to put it down to the phantom pisser, and put up with a pissy patch every few weeks

Do you have a "your chair" or is it just the chair at the desk at which you habitually sit? I'm trying to determine whether it's something happening to your chair, the same chair; or it's happening to a different chair each time but chairs are being swapped around and you end up with the wet one ...

I'd go with the thought that it's a colleague with a leakage problem, swapping their chair with yours. Perhaps when the chair is dry one day, mark it surreptitiously and then check whether that chair stays at your desk or moves.

Ah UnitedRoad, I completely missed that suggestion. Goodness I hope not for either of us

Cross-posted. You say 'big open plan office' and yet you don't have chair swapsies happening? Ours always go a-wandering .... We do have ceiling leakage, from overflowing air-con pans above the suspended ceiling, but I'm not aware that it smells.

And yes, it is a 'desk chair so easily interchangeable. Marking is a good idea...

I have absolutely nothing of use to add, but I am shamelessly place marking to see if you discover where the phantom wee if coming from

Me too. Please let us know if you find an answer to this mystery OP!

Are you sure it doesn’t just smell because it’s a chair that’s been sat on for a period of time.. added with water then your warm bum to heat the old sweaty aroma from how many months, years etc?

Perhaps get a blacklight to do some sleuthing

Blatant place mark!

Marking is a good idea...

Coloured thread around a mechanical part underneath the chair. Subtle but recognisable. Mind you, you'll look like a daft mare hunting round the office for your chair when it goes missing ... The other option is to leave items of clothing on the chair when you're not there, say a cardigan on the back and a scarf tied round it, so that they're put off making it your chair that they nick!

How can it be dripping down? Is your chair not tucked away under the desk when you’re not sitting in it?

Something old that has been spilled on it in the past is being reactivated by water/sweat?

Is someone bringing their toddler in after lunch and they’re having a spin on your chair?

''woooooahhh....we're halfway there.....''

I put kitchen roll on the wet patch to try and dry it, and it came off pale yellow (not envy).

The only other thing i can think is a few months ago a colleague brought their puppy in and it peed on their chair, but the offending chair was removed from the office to be disposed of.

And even if that chair happened to find it's way back in and was swapped with mine, surely it wouldn't re-liquify in a small patch like some kind of pissy stigmata?!

And my chair did have my cardigan over it all day!

I'm hoping it is some weird ceiling leakage that I couldn't see rather than any of the alternatives! If I find an.answer i will be sure to update.

Agree with other posters someone could be swapping their chair with yours

I agree with pp that a colleague is having accidents and then swapping chairs. Definitely mark the chair and see if it goes missing.

Placemarking

If you were having an accident on your chair, you wouldn’t want the office discussing it, you’d hide the fact by staying in your own chair, or sitting on a towel or purchasing some Tena surely?

pissy stigmata

This would make a great username.

@Patroclus Hilarious!

pissy stigmata Get some tipex or white out or nail polish etc and put a little bit in a discreet place lice under the seat so you can check if it's the same chair each time or if they are getting swapped.

The only other thing i can think is a few months ago a colleague brought their puppy in and it peed on their chair

It must be related to this then!

Get in early OP and check all the drawers for a bottle of pee. Then crap on their desk and stick their stapler in it. See how they like it!

This reminds me of the person with the boss with the suspected sweaty arse sitting on her desk.

I'm sure that turned out to be a leak from the ceiling.

^ That was on Catastrophe, the TV show.