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Original poster

WWYD - Feel so betrayed

437 replies

sausageandchips007 · 25/10/2019 17:17

Need some advice please.

We moved house and applied for a school place for our DC - due to circumstances we had to rent, though we ensured we met all the criteria and it was by no means a short term let. We are in this house for at least 2 years and ideally we are looking to buy once those 2 years are up or will just carry on renting where we are.

We came to know that someone wrote a letter to the school telling them that we had given false information and that we had no intention of staying in the area. The school did their investigations with us and found that we had complied with all the criteria etc.

We asked to see a copy of the letter under DPA 2018 and I have just received it. It was handwritten and matches very closely with my best friend. It also had content in it about things which only she knew. She has just asked us to be legal guardians for her 2 DC and her and her DH's power of attorney.

WWYD?

OP posts:
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7
theemmadilemma · 25/10/2019 23:12

@marvellousnightforamooncup Grin

InsertFunnyUsername · 25/10/2019 23:32

Oh dear. I wouldn't say for sure if the handwriting is the same but like others my writing style changes depending on what I'm writing out. Not a good situation OP.

CallMeRachel · 25/10/2019 23:33

I can't decide if it's the same writer or not. The D in Birthday is looped, whereas it's straight in the letter. The F is also very different.

The overall writing style and size looks similar though. I guess if you were to do a handwritten letter to snake on a friend, you may try and change or disguise your handwriting.

The other option since there's so much specific knowledge that her husband or partner wrote it?

Was she aware that there's been an issue with all this? Have you been telling her anything?

I'd probably ask her to help me write a letter signed off 'kind regards' to see how it compares.

I wouldn't mention you think it's her unless you are almost certain it was her.

They say keep your friends close and enemies closer. Not everyone is who they've made themselves out to be.

For what it's worth, I don't think any other random person would go to the effort of doing something like this. This is motivated by jealousy, envy and ill will towards you. This is someone close.

SunshineFlower · 25/10/2019 23:34

She knows the details, circumstances and address. Even without the letter she is a very likely suspect!
You recognised her writing! It doesn't have to be a carbon copy.
I can't fathom a motive especially as I can't imagine having the time or inclination to handwrite a letter like that even if I was convinced! The guardianship thing is interesting timing... Is there some other weird plan in the pipeline?! (And are you /your friend anywhere near Oxfordshire as I know a woman I could well imagine doing this

ThreeLittleDots · 25/10/2019 23:59

Could be her husband, or someone she's been chatting to who for some reason doesn't like you or your role in the area / with your friend.

Or you could have a plain frenemy!

monkeymonkey2010 · 26/10/2019 00:01

whilst they're not identical my gut very sadly points towards her!
Hands up if you've ever faked a note from your parents when you were at school?

Cos i used to - quite regularly and i was never caught even if my teachers did suspect (which looking back i think they must have)
It's easy to change bits of your writing style as a disguise, or even get someone else to write it for you (us school kids did)

Always trust your gut.
I know when i've applied logic to things in the past to validate my gut feeling it usually came back to bite me on the bum.

I just can't think of a motive
The motive could be anything - feeling bitter about your new start, an old grudge from the past you've forgotten/don't know about, maybe her husband....

What jumps out to me is the energy of spite.
This is personal 'payback' from whoever wrote it, maybe they feel they have been hard done by at some point?
It reads to me like they wanted to stick the knife in your back really hard and deep, make it hurt you all in such a way that it would feel like justice to whatever pain they carry.

Only you know what your friend is like when she doesn't like people or wants revenge....or what her childish/immature side is like.
We all have a 'dark' side so what do you know about hers?

In my opinion, i think it's her person and she's tried to fake/disguise her writing a bit....she didn't do a good job of properly changing the spacing between her words though Grin

If it definitely isn't her - then take a painkiller before you fry your head thinking about who you could possibly have pissed off this much Grin Flowers

They didn't succeed though so i'd cackle about it very overtly to people you think it could be, make sure you totally go to town on the character of someone who could do this - everyone's going to agree with you cos they can't not Grin
Then just watch out for the looks on faces/stumbling for words etc - and have fun!
Rotten twat didn't win! Grin Grin

TheNoodlesIncident · 26/10/2019 00:02

I used to study graphology when I was an earnest teenager with too much time on my hands and tbh, I don't think there's a large enough sample shown to be able to say for sure. However, I do think that a person's writing can be altered by things like the speed they write, whether they're trying to be neat, etc. But that's only on a superficial basis - the actual letter formation generally stays the same, although you may get changes in letter sizes, the amount of each letter in the top, middle and bottom zones, and so on. I noticed the lower case d did show considerable variety in how they'd been formed, as well as the f, but I also do some letters in variable ways. So it can't be ruled out that the writers are the same person I don't think.

If I were to broach it with her, I'd go down the route of non-accusing comment, just "look what a horrible thing someone has done to us, how could anyone be so nasty when there's no truth in it" type of response.

monkeymonkey2010 · 26/10/2019 00:08

The guardianship thing is interesting timing... Is there some other weird plan in the pipeline?!
That's a good point Sunshine

Maybe it's her twisted way of sabotaging your move so you're forced to move back/closer to her, so in worst case scenario if 'something happens' to her/dh, her kids won't have to move away from their family/friends when you take guardianship?

I'm feeling like a Nancy Drew! Grin Grin

bananacakerox · 26/10/2019 00:09

When are you next planning in seeing her OP? Are you in a mindset to bring it up?

titnomatani · 26/10/2019 00:18

It's her OP. Sorry but she sounds very jealous of you. Tread carefully with her from now on.

pigsinarow · 26/10/2019 00:18

I really, really don’t think those samples of handwriting belong to the same people.

Also if someone was trying to disguise their handwriting they would have just typed it.

MartiniDry · 26/10/2019 00:20
  1. The writer wouldn't have been expecting Sausage to make a FOI request for a copy of the letter so why would they bother to try to disguise their handwriting, as some suggest?
  1. One way to get a reaction, sausage, would be to raise the subject and in so doing to show your friend the letter with the words, "The thing is, I'm almost certain that I recognise that handwriting but I'm jinxed if I can remember whose it is. It's so annoying!".

She might say, with a genuine smile, "it looks just like mine!".

If she doesn't, you may have found your culprit.

titnomatani · 26/10/2019 00:21

What @monkeymonkey2010 said 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

Quitedrab · 26/10/2019 00:24

To me the writing doesn't look at all the same. It's weird that anyone would send the letter, but I bet it wasn't your friend.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 26/10/2019 00:27

I think it's the same handwriting The " you" look identical to me
The birthday card has been written neater.... The letter probably rushed

broomzoom · 26/10/2019 01:01

The thing some people do get really pissed off at the rental/catchment issue so it could be someone who's heard it through the grapevine. I know lots of things about people I've barely met because i've heard gossip/news etc

AtrociousCircumstance · 26/10/2019 01:10

I also think the handwriting is a match. Sorry OP. What a horrific situation - I hope it works out in your favour.

LemonGingerCakes · 26/10/2019 01:14

They are very similar, but the f and ts are different, for example.

People of similar ages have similar writing styles - due to writing schemes etc.

IdblowJonSnow · 26/10/2019 01:30

This is awful to the point of it being creepy. If it is her, why would she do that?
It's sent shivers up my spine. Just going to see if I can find the handwriting...

IdblowJonSnow · 26/10/2019 01:35

Can't tell.
How unsettling not to know either way.
Confused

CJsGoldfish · 26/10/2019 02:13

I would tell her all about how someone has tried to sabotage this for you just to gauge her reaction. Then I'd drop the bombshell that you are waiting for them to release the letter to you.
I'd expect her reaction to that to tell you all you need to know.

sandyfoot · 26/10/2019 02:55

I don't think they are written by the same person. Please tread carefully, it would be awful for all of you if a friendship was damaged unnecessarily.

stanski · 26/10/2019 03:05

I think the handwriting is very similar. Most likely same person

onthecoins · 26/10/2019 05:29

I'm positive the handwriting matches.

What a cunt she is. And a daft dozy cunt at that for not typing it up so her handwriting couldn't be recognised!

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 26/10/2019 06:06

*I nearly phoned the council about her - it is fraud. My children are in a different borough, different ages - so no jealousy from me. But total anger that this person would not comply with the rules. So we are no longer friends. I have standards.

You sound as if you are on the most unpleasant witch hunt*

Anyone else seeing the irony here?