WWYD - Feel so betrayed

[sausageandchips007]

Need some advice please.

We moved house and applied for a school place for our DC - due to circumstances we had to rent, though we ensured we met all the criteria and it was by no means a short term let. We are in this house for at least 2 years and ideally we are looking to buy once those 2 years are up or will just carry on renting where we are.

We came to know that someone wrote a letter to the school telling them that we had given false information and that we had no intention of staying in the area. The school did their investigations with us and found that we had complied with all the criteria etc.

We asked to see a copy of the letter under DPA 2018 and I have just received it. It was handwritten and matches very closely with my best friend. It also had content in it about things which only she knew. She has just asked us to be legal guardians for her 2 DC and her and her DH's power of attorney.

WWYD?

If you lost your place at the school, would there be a chance that you would send your child to the same school as your friend's child is going? That would suggest a motive behind all of this.

I think it's the same person too. Everyone's writing differs depending on what they are writing, more formal, informal, etc.

Have you thought about how you're going to approach her OP?

Yeah, I think they look similar but also a tad different at the same time. There could be numerous reasons for the difference though if it's the same person. Like you say, it could be because it's been rushed. Or like me, when I grow my nails long, my handwriting changes quite a bit because I hold my pen differently. Even writing on different surfaces can make it look different.

I'd mention it in front of her, casually. "Some fuckers reported us to the school!" Then mention you have a copy of the letter coming soon, and her reaction should be obvious to you as you know her.

Whoever sent it, they're a fucking little saddo. I hope for you it wasn't your friend.

I don’t think it’s the same person. Agree with others that the handwriting is similar though and a common style. It really reminds me of my friend’s.
You do seem convinced it’s your friend though OP. You aren’t answering PP’s Qs like why would someone had write this, so you recognise the words and phrases used to be her style and if she works in certain sectors.

I’d also say it’s the same person but they’ve tried to alter their handwriting style in their complaint and that’s why a few letters look different. If your gut is telling you it’s her then I’ll be surprised if you’re wrong. I’ve also had a dodgy ‘best’ friend in the past and you just know. Good luck!

They look too similar to not be the same person and coupled with the amount of detailed information in the letter surely points to her. Would be a bit of a stretch for someone else with that amount of knowledge with very similar hand writing. Given an actual handwriting expert has been shown from the thread and said they are the same, that gives it more weight than an bunch of MNetters.

So sorry this has happened to you and hope you get to the bottom of it

I now work with someone whose handwriting is incredibly similar to mine, I can't always tell which one of us wrote stuff so I would be cautious assuming it's your bf.

What would her motive be for doing this? If she didn't really like you & it was a facade I don't think she would entrust you with her children. Would the landlord know the info?

Where I live renting & securing a school place is a very contentious subject because schools are so over subscribed (catchments are in meters) & some families who have lived on a road for 5 yrs loose out, that's the only motivation I can think of so again doesn't really make sense.

Having said that in my previous post though OP, if it was your friend, that would indicate she didn't like you very much.

Yet she asked you to be her DC's godparent. That's a pretty big deal, and would be something you asked of someone who you truly admire and trust, not someone you're secretly hating on. That in itself would sway me towards it not being her.

Does she have any family members that you or even she doesn’t get on with. Could it be someone trying to hurt you because she’s close to you?

Another possibility is that it’s someone who didn’t want you to move. Have you moved away from a family member who didn’t want you to go?

Definitely not the same person.

Hope you work it out Op.

There are a few differences. It seems a big jump to assume it’s her (& it’s not her trying to disguise her writing - then it would have an overall totally different look, and the tells would be the small details, the op wouldn’t have thought of it)
There must be other people who know these details op?

No chance of our DC going to the same school - we just didn't apply to any of the same schools. That's what I'm really struggling with, what would be her motive? Actually scared now that she's unhinged and I have massively misjudged.

I think I'm going to do as suggested and mention it to her and that I'm expecting a copy of the letter anytime now and gauge her reaction.

Probably will get a paid expert opinion as the repercussions of this are massive.

Your “full address” you can get from google maps or postcode finder

Actually sometimes local people add an area to their address, it isn't a postal district so if you look it up it would say for example

54 Carnbridge Drive
Swanstead
SW13 8NN

But locally that Carnbridge Drive is classed as being in an area called West Point so that gets added to the address. Locally everybody recognises it but if she suspects her friend, she would have that West Point bit as it was given to her rather than Mr Google. But it also points the finger at people living locally.

I am not handwriting expert but my handwriting isn't always consistent, I think the handwriting looks the same.

The way I would approach it is to tell the best friend you have requested a copy of the letter under the FOI and see what her response is.

Is there no-one you spoke to at your children's activity that meant you told them you were moving house and the club?

Cross posts. It is awful when you lose trust in someone. I am really sorry for you.

I don't think they are the same. Even the 'you' which a few people have mentioned looks different to me - one has a clear down stroke on the right side and the other doesn't. I'd show her the letter as others have suggested, but not in a way that implies you think it's from her.

No @TreePeepingWatcher you want them to be the same. For drama. They aren't

Just to answer PP's questions - she's an only child and so is her husband so no sisters or sis-in-laws. No mutual friends either.

Hate even suspecting her but whoever did this could have ruined our lives and more importantly wanted to jeopardise our DC's future.

I don’t think they are both written by the same person. There is a distinctive way of looping certain letters in the card, that is absent in the letter.
I think that they are superficially similar, but not the same hand.

I had a parcel from ebay last week so like my best friend’s handwriting that I assumed it was from her until I opened it. On closer inspection there were differences, but at first glance it had looked the same. Some handwriting styles are quite common, only when really looking can you see the differences.

I would be surprised if this is your best friend OP, from those two samples.

No, not the same.

The t in the letter shows two forms (crucifix and stansard), and the card shows two other forms (looped crucifix, but different loops).

F is different (constructed and traditional), and d is straight in one and looped in the other. The weighting on the 'm' humps is different and the cursive doesn't 'garland' in the same style.

I think there are other differences too.

Some similarities, but I wouldn't say the same.

So OP, who else knows the things in the letter ?

No, they're not the same. The writing in the card is almost entirely joined up, the letter hardly at all.

This

why not- for now, have a chat with her over message about what’s happened and try to gauge her responses?

You could even say you have a copy of the letter and are contemplating hiring someone to match the handwriting and see if she try’s to talk you out of it.

I think they look similar.

My handwriting changes depending on my mood and the purpose of writing.
Sometimes I write cursive, sometimes not.

You need a professionals take really but even then, it’s not dna evidence.

I made a new friend a couple of years ago, until she did, pretty much what you describe doing in your OP. Renting a new property in a good catchment area for a school. Lots of talk about commitment to the area. Well that was true as she lived a few streets away just outside catchment area for the school, so the rental property address was necessary to get the children into that school. After a couple of years the family returned to their house 5 mins walk away.

I nearly phoned the council about her - it is fraud. My children are in a different borough, different ages - so no jealousy from me. But total anger that this person would not comply with the rules. So we are no longer friends. I have standards.

You sound as if you are on the most unpleasant witch hunt. How could it possibly "have ruined our lives and more importantly wanted to jeopardise our DC's future". I think there is a lot more to this than you have posted.