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Original poster

WWYD - Feel so betrayed

437 replies

sausageandchips007 · 25/10/2019 17:17

Need some advice please.

We moved house and applied for a school place for our DC - due to circumstances we had to rent, though we ensured we met all the criteria and it was by no means a short term let. We are in this house for at least 2 years and ideally we are looking to buy once those 2 years are up or will just carry on renting where we are.

We came to know that someone wrote a letter to the school telling them that we had given false information and that we had no intention of staying in the area. The school did their investigations with us and found that we had complied with all the criteria etc.

We asked to see a copy of the letter under DPA 2018 and I have just received it. It was handwritten and matches very closely with my best friend. It also had content in it about things which only she knew. She has just asked us to be legal guardians for her 2 DC and her and her DH's power of attorney.

WWYD?

OP posts:
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Bluntness100 · 26/10/2019 06:39

I'd also say if someone feels this strongly against you that they would write to stop your kids getting school places then it's someone who doesn't like you. And you'd know in their interactions.

That same Someone is highly unlikely to also ask you to be legal guardians of their kids, and give you Poa.

So highly unlikely to be the same person.

Although deep down you don't like her or trust her, because there is clearly room for doubt here, but you're very eager to believe it was her.

In addition. You've not said what only she could know. Plenty of people would know your full address, and details of kids clubs etc. From school, to family members, and let's be honest, plenty of people write like that.

justilou1 · 26/10/2019 06:52

Pretty sure there are some handwriting analysis apps you could run those through as well

OatyGoaty · 26/10/2019 06:53

it’s not dna evidence. Ooh, there's a point. It would have her DNA on it.

Movinghouseatlast · 26/10/2019 07:52

That writing doesn't leap out at me as being the same.

If I were you I would take it to a jandwring expert, so you know for sure. I would then confront her, but not in anger. She will just get defensive and you'll never know the truth. Ask her in a neutral, objective tone.

It doesn't add up why she would do this, so there must be something beneath the surface if it's her.

justilou1 · 26/10/2019 08:07

Has she sabotaged you before?

WeAreStardustWeAreGolden · 26/10/2019 08:15

You know the saying Op if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck etc etc. It will be your friend who has done this but she is actually a Frenemy. I've had one myself so beware.

Cuddling57 · 26/10/2019 08:26

@monkeymonkey2010 makes a good point.
What is your friend like as a person.
Is this the sort of thing she would do?
Has she stitched up other people before? Or is she easy going, kind and minds her own business?

Chewingbubblegum · 26/10/2019 08:31

I really hope you end this friendship. Your friend does not deserve a "friend" like you. You are far too keen to pin this on her even though the evidence against her is practically non-existent. Deep down, you clearly don't like this person.

BigFatLiar · 26/10/2019 08:44

Time to move on and find new friends.

If she did it she's no friend.
If she didn't and finds out you have basically accused her of doing it she'll be offended and your friendship will have to ended anyway.

miamiibiza · 26/10/2019 08:48

I really do think they look like they've been written by the same person.

I hope you get to the bottom of it

PoppiesarelethaltoSpellmans · 26/10/2019 08:48

My handwriting looks slightly different every time I write. Everyone must have, at some point, panicked that their signature didn't match twice in a row and they'd be done for fraud.

Mention it casually to your friend before you confront her and gauge her reaction.

seeingasyouareclueless · 26/10/2019 08:51

IF it was her (I'm not convinced about the handwriting being the same, but not entirely sure of it not being either), what are the timelines on the letter writing and the asking to be legal guardian etc.

Had she had time to feel guilty and rueful inbetween writing the letter, no problem being found by the school, and asking you to fill the roles of poa and legal guardians? , Could she be trying to repair what she thought was invisible damage to you, but that was eating her?

bionicnemonic · 26/10/2019 08:56

I would ask for this thread to be deleted. It could jeopardise your friendship

Candle1000 · 26/10/2019 09:00

What name is signed on the letter? Can you google it to see if the person exists?

ChongADong · 26/10/2019 09:20

So we are no longer friends. I have standards

I'm sure she sees that as a grave loss.

SirVixofVixHall · 26/10/2019 10:06

I agree with pigsinarow
If the writer had wanted to disguise their writing, why not type it ? The handwriting has far too many distinct differences to be the same person. Even at first glance I thought this.
The not typing it may be a clue in itself, as most people would type a letter like that these days, or email it.

Reluctantbettlynch · 26/10/2019 10:06

There are similarities, but certain letters are very different. A female writer I would say, but couldn't pin point your friend.
I definitely think you should tell her face to face that you have a copy on it's way to you,
It would be interesting to see if she says anything incriminating.

SirVixofVixHall · 26/10/2019 10:12

You get changes like size, or neatness, when people try to write more quickly, (eg towards the end of an exam paper) or when they are being more careful to make something look attractive, but there are key things that mark out a hand as individual. With this there are letter forms that are completely different from each other in the two samples, if you were to sit down with a pen and try and re-create each letter you would see this.

rockofages · 26/10/2019 10:22

Does your friend have a mum or sister? I think the writing is similar but not the same. Sometimes members of the same family have similar attributes in their writing. Could also be another friend of your friend who was at the same school?

Sleepthiefismyfavourite · 26/10/2019 10:30

Why would it have been so catastrophic if your kids hadn't got into the school?

exaltedwombat · 26/10/2019 17:45

This friend has asked you to take on PoA and responsibility for her children? You don't do that unless you have problems, or forsee problems in the near future. If she DID send this letter, perhaps you should treat it as a symptom and see if you can help. Is she WORRIED that you might not be staying in the area long-term?

MollyMinniesMum · 26/10/2019 17:48

I don’t think it’s the same person, ‘f’s are very different and why would she do this to you? Love to know what your oh thinks x

Zeldasmagicwand · 26/10/2019 17:51

I don’t think they’re similar enough to be the same writer at all.
A lot of basic information can easily be discovered by googling and looking up local records.
I think it’s more likely to be a disgruntled ex colleague, relative or neighbour who has an axe to grind and it’s not difficult to find out personal stuff about other people if you know how to phrase the questions when gossiping to others.

jimbob1969 · 26/10/2019 18:04

They look different to me. Think about it. How long have you known this friend? It seems like you don't like or trust her very much if at all. You could also be making yourself paranoid.

EarlGreyT · 26/10/2019 18:04

@DM1209
I’m interested to know why your handwriting expert thinks this? I thought the 2 samples were written by different people, perhaps why your associate is the expert rather than me!