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Original poster

WWYD - Feel so betrayed

437 replies

sausageandchips007 · 25/10/2019 17:17

Need some advice please.

We moved house and applied for a school place for our DC - due to circumstances we had to rent, though we ensured we met all the criteria and it was by no means a short term let. We are in this house for at least 2 years and ideally we are looking to buy once those 2 years are up or will just carry on renting where we are.

We came to know that someone wrote a letter to the school telling them that we had given false information and that we had no intention of staying in the area. The school did their investigations with us and found that we had complied with all the criteria etc.

We asked to see a copy of the letter under DPA 2018 and I have just received it. It was handwritten and matches very closely with my best friend. It also had content in it about things which only she knew. She has just asked us to be legal guardians for her 2 DC and her and her DH's power of attorney.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Itwasntme101 · 26/10/2019 19:48

Would your children have ended up going to the same school as hers if you hadn't been able to counter with your own evidence? Could it have been a misguided attempt to keep the childrens friendships close/prevent them growing apart?

TheFatberg · 26/10/2019 19:56

It's........ Rebekah Vardy.

lavenderlove · 26/10/2019 20:01

What an awful position to be in not knowing if someone close to you is responsible for trying to sabotage your family's life. I don't think there necessarily has to be a logical motive, some people are just filled with jealousy and if your dc's school is known to be better than her dc's school that could have been enough for her to decide to write the awful letter

I would definitely message her and say you're thinking of putting in a freedom of information request to get the letter and see what she replies with

Ellamar · 26/10/2019 20:13

Is it classed as a better school or could she be jealous of your house, money differences etc?. Are you more popular,prettier? it is not the first time I have seen jealousy with one side smiling sweetly if it is here I would be careful.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 26/10/2019 20:19

Is it usual for the "person being reported/complained about" (for want of a better term) to be supplied with the actual complaint itself? What if someone reported someone in writing to social services - would they release copies of this information to the person who had been reported?! I'm really surprised you've been given this piece of information.

Also, if a very good "friend" was going to do this, surely they would type/print it - who would send a handwritten letter, let alone in these circumstances?!

And aren't you worried whoever did it will see your thread and your photos of the cards they have sent you especially when it's lifted in the Mail?

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 26/10/2019 20:24

"We came to know that someone wrote a letter to the school telling them that we had given false information and that we had no intention of staying in the area. The school did their investigations with us and found that we had complied with all the criteria etc."

How did you "come to know" as in, did the school tell you?

Was the letter send to the school or the council? If the school did all the investigations, would they not worry you could identify the sender and cause issues in the playground?

I always assumed it would be council dealing with complaints like this not the school themselves, for this kind of reason as well as proof of addresses etc sent to them, not the schools.

undeadmedicstudentmum · 26/10/2019 20:48

The next time you see her, say "Look what xxxx School have sent me!" and just put a copy of the letter in front of her, and watch her face VERY carefully. If it was her, she won't be certain whether you are confronting her or just showing her. If she's innocent she won't get defensive or behave suspiciously. Her reaction will be very telling either way.

pyramidbutterflyfish · 26/10/2019 21:14

What I don't get is why the OP posted this. Her friend could easily see the post. In which case she can either prepare her story if she did it... or be incredibly hurt if she didn't.

di2004 · 26/10/2019 21:17

She is not your ‘best friend’ if she does tricks like that.
Tell her you’ve requested a FOI because the School challenged your DC’s application - and see what her response is!
I always believe in Karma, what goes around comes around in the end.

CallmeAngelina · 26/10/2019 21:27

I think they look very similar styles, but I think it is a red herring to say that particular letters are different. I'm a teacher, and over the years have had to teach different styles according to current trend. As a result, my handwriting has had an identity crisis and I form certain letters in all sorts of different ways. I even struggle with my signature sometimes. It also depends on how I'm sitting, or holding the pen, and of course, what sort of pen I'm using.
Flowers for you, OP. This must be a horrid situation to be in.

Bluntness100 · 26/10/2019 21:43

She is not your ‘best friend’ if she does tricks like that

No she is not. And the op is not her best friend if she'd think this of her.

None of us know which one is the horrible one

MontyPants · 26/10/2019 22:03

@TheFatberg best comment on the thread! 😂

And I don’t think it’s the same handwriting at all! Look at the N and the U

StCharlotte · 26/10/2019 22:07

Speaking of F's, my maiden name began with F and once when I went to withdraw cash from a building society, I had to try my signature several times because I was doing a different F from the version they were holding. Also I can do different types of E's or T's in the same word!

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 26/10/2019 22:50

You're going to have to handle this carefully in case your assumptions are incorrect. I think showing her the letter in person and seeing her reaction will tell you what you need to know. I hope it isn't her....

Karabair · 26/10/2019 23:13

I really don't get why people keep saying that the OP will be able to tell from her reactions if it is her. If it is her she has been hiding huge animosity towards the OP for a long time and to do this she'd be very manipulative and a good liar. She'd be able to smooth it over.

bigtotwig · 26/10/2019 23:27

The more I compare the card and letter, the more I'm convinced it's the same person.

It has to be motivated by a) sour grapes for not wanting your DC in a better school or b) wanting to scupper your move because she likes you living close to her.

Either way, she is not a true friend.

Rose87777 · 26/10/2019 23:34

@TheFatberg

Howling

Celestine70 · 27/10/2019 00:58

I would say it is her 99%. Look at the h and n, the way they go up and over after the stroke down. Also the big curly y and g. I would tell her what happened and see her resction. Then say you have a copy of the letter and watch her reaction. I wouldn't immediately accuse her just see what she says and think on it.

Doneanddone · 27/10/2019 01:10

I think that you shouldn’t rely on who wrote the letter but who had the intention of hurting you with the letter. What I mean to say, is that if your gut is telling you that it is your friend, then you must pay attention to that. We don’t just randomly suspect people of things, there is always a telltale sign that we picked up on either consciously or subconsciously. I agree with the majority, show her the letter and gauge reaction.

Candle1000 · 27/10/2019 06:47

Op , did you not discuss with your friend the fact that you were being investigated before you requested the letter ? It’s certainly something I would have mentioned to my best friend in conversation.

kristallen · 27/10/2019 07:03

What you need is a fingerprint test, not a handwriting analysis. If she wrote it then there'll be a match with the birthday card, at least somewhere on it.

No idea if you can get those done privately though.

I don't think it's the same person. My writing can also change a lot depending on my mood or pen, but there are a few too many consistent differences. I'd agree the writers are the same age though..which would make sense anyway.

CupoTeap · 27/10/2019 07:16

I don't think it's her.

So who else could have that info? If you really think she's the only one then who could she have told?

CallmeAngelina · 27/10/2019 07:17

Have all those saying it's not the same missed the post earlier by someone in the field who'd shown it to a handwriting expert and said it was certainly one and the same?

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 27/10/2019 07:23

CallmeAngelina - and then there were another couple of posts by different people in the field who said it was by no means certain that the writers of the card and letter were one and the same! Go figure!

ShitOnIt78 · 27/10/2019 07:25

kristallen, the OP did a subject access request to the local authority so it will be a redacted copy of the letter, not the letter itself so fingerprints wouldn't come into it.

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