Yet another fecking gift experience that is useless

[Jaggypinecone]

I am utterly sick of these. I know they are well intentioned but I have never used any yet as they are too far away or just not our thing.

I'd hoped to avoid this happening again by 'having the conversation' with the person who usually buys me one for Xmas but it arrived early as he can't make it home for Xmas this year.

When you think about it, it's basically telling someone how you think they should spend their time. Time is the most precious gift of all and I don't want to spend mine shoehorning an afternoon tea for two at some shitty hotel or a fecking segway trip into my already busy schedule. It was bought down in London so is London centric. Given I live in the Scottish Highlands the nearest thing is in Edinburgh - sigh!

Straight to charity shop. And I'll need to 'have the conversation' well before xmas time next year. Any advice on how best to word this?

Surely you must have one friend or family member who could find some enjoyment from one of the 550 options?

I've read that the companies which sell these experiences actually make a fortune

They do. We've contacted the companies directly and it costs a lot less. I think many people use tesco clubcard vouchers or similar to pay though so it doesn't cost them cash as such.

Someone suggested getting me various experience days that I had to tell them no to, they involved heights which I wouldn't have enjoyed at all. A lot of the experience gifts received by people I know don't get used.

haven't RTFT but Alexei Sayle did a brilliant short story on his "Imaginary Sandwich Bar" (BBC iPlayer) about a couple that were given a 2-for-1 gift experience voucher as a present, which meant one of the couple had to die to get the full value.

It was very funny ....

I bought a spa day for someone. It was within half an hour drive of their home, specially chosen for that reason, it was for two people so she could take a friend and I know she enjoys a spa day because she had it as part of her hen do.

My parents live in the Highlands. They recently travelled to London for an event. It cost them hundreds of pounds in travel, hotels, eating out and it's a long, tiring way.

Did you suggest a present to him? How about politely returning it and asking for a food hamper, cheese board, bottle of gin or something you'd actually prefer next year instead.

Once I had a friend buy me a £20 gift card for Make up, can’t remember which shop. I have never worn make up in my life and don’t intend to start. Gave it to my sister as she does and she gave me a £20 Lego store voucher someone had given her because she hates Lego! The same friend got my boyfriend a £20 HMV voucher because ‘they do all sorts’. Wish she’d thought that about me, love me a blu ray and a music album

I would be a bit meh about this type of thing and for me a £50 gift is a lot of money. My parents don't even spend that much on me. I really don't understand people who spend £50 on a gift that someone hasn't even asked for. Oh to be that rich.
Send it back to you friend and say you won't use it and the find someone else who actually would like it and say "I never use these. Don't buy them"

I would smile and say thank you. Don't tell them you don't like their gift. It's not worth the hurt caused.

Ooh must look for that on YouTube.

I wonder what percentage of these gift experiences are actually used?

I’ve never suggested a present. He loves Xmas soooooo much he goes way over the top, with many people. I get him and his partner a small, meaningful, useful gift (I hope) that can be easily posted. I got the present early because he was visiting now rather than Xmas.

I opened it early as I’d a notion he’d gotten me another gift experience and if I waited until Xmas it meant a shorter timescale to use it and also, if going to charity it gives someone else the opportunity to buy it/use it

I don't think the OP is being ungrateful either.

This is why I always stick with chocolate and a gift card.

I researched usage before - take up rate was only about 50%

Oh I’m with you OP, I HATE these things. My OH got in the habit of buying them for me but we live in the arse end of the country and always had to travel hundreds of miles at great expense for me to do these things I wasn’t interested in in the first place. Eventually, I had to be quite rude about it and tell him to never ever buy me one again, not for any reason ever.

YANBU. I was once gifted Afternoon Tea for two at a Cat Cafe. It’s 2 hours away in London.
Plus I can drink tea on my own sofa with my own cats.
I also think they’re cruel.
(The cafe that is, not my cats).

And that's the problem. Everyone is too polite to say anything other than ' thank you, it's lovely' and the giver thinks that it is a good gift and does the same ad infinitum and the cycle of waste, guilt and delusion about giving thoughtful gifts continues.

At least my sister only buys me wine I hate but she thinks I like and I then give to the next charity fair I see.

I would personally return them then let them go to waste.

I've read that the companies which sell these experiences actually make a fortune, because most of the recipients never use them. So you're not the only person to think they are useless.

I’ve read that too Shippingnews. I once went on an afternoon tea ‘experience’. We found our tea was much worse value than the hotel’s own version. It is really just a form of MLA selling. Another problem is that they are not 100% safe. When House of Fraser was bought up by Mike Ashley, they refused to honour gift vouchers that had been bought.

You don’t sound ungrateful. Nothing ungrateful about receiving songs you won’t use. Giver should have put more thought i to it instead of buying another one.

Id hate to receive something like that. I don't like travelling, and esp with something like that, you have to spend on travel and accommodation.

Rather thoughtless.

Not songs, things🤦🏼‍♀️

I find it depressing that for gifts like this the giver doesn't have a clue about the geography of where their recipient lives. I would have at least reasearched and realised that a 50 mile round trip for afternoon tea is not going to be practical.

My ex used to buy me stuff like this! You’d think actually being married to me he should have known better.. We also lived in Scotland miles from any of the locations, so it was a total lack of thought. Worst one was one of the photo shoot ones, but it only included maybe one small picture, so you just knew you’d be pressured to spend £££ on prints, on top of all the travel costs. We hardly had any money at the time, so it was such a frustrating waste.

I don't think you're being ungrateful and in the circumstances, it's understandable why you can't or don't want to use it. It's just a shame it's not getting through to your friend.

I got DH a driving one once but it was direct from the company so you could choose time and location so it was fine. I've been given groupons before though where, because it was at a reduced rate, the availability is very restrictive. I don't want to arrange babysitters to go out for a meal on a school night, or before 4 on a Friday or Saturday. These type of gifts can be great, but the giver does have to put some thought into the practicality of the gift.

I know it's awkward to suggest a present but it really does make life easier for everyone. You don't have to be specific but something like We'd really prefer a nice bottle of whisky or a cheese board would be great. They can still have fun picking something they think you'd like. People generally buy experiences because they don't know what else to get.

I'm with you OP, you don't sound ungrateful.
A similar one is my dsis has a skin condition, everyone knows and it's bloody obvious. The amount of people who buy her toiletries when they know she has to use special creams.
It's not like you haven't told your friend.
Just send it back saying how lovely the thought was but you can't use it.