Yet another fecking gift experience that is useless

[Jaggypinecone]

I am utterly sick of these. I know they are well intentioned but I have never used any yet as they are too far away or just not our thing.

I'd hoped to avoid this happening again by 'having the conversation' with the person who usually buys me one for Xmas but it arrived early as he can't make it home for Xmas this year.

When you think about it, it's basically telling someone how you think they should spend their time. Time is the most precious gift of all and I don't want to spend mine shoehorning an afternoon tea for two at some shitty hotel or a fecking segway trip into my already busy schedule. It was bought down in London so is London centric. Given I live in the Scottish Highlands the nearest thing is in Edinburgh - sigh!

Straight to charity shop. And I'll need to 'have the conversation' well before xmas time next year. Any advice on how best to word this?

I think people just need to listen to others more and not project what they think onto the recipient. Receiving a gift should be a nice thing for both parties. If it’s the wrong sort of gift then the recipient feels unloved, ungrateful, guilty for feeling that way and the giver feels bad for not getting it right so it really is something that should require a bit more thought. More often than not, the giver doesn’t know or never finds out that their gift is unwelcome so the recipient bears all the angst.

It’s even worse if you’ve been specifically asked what you would like and then the giver completely ignores what you’ve said. It’s like your opinion and feelings don’t matter one bit. Happened to me on a big birthday. Some girlfriends wanted to get me something. Conversation went like this:

One of the girls: we’d really like to get you something
Me: oh I really don’t need or want anything
One of the girls: oh the others won’t be happy with that, they’ll insist on getting you something as it’s a special birthday
Me: that is so kind, if you really insist and I can’t persuade you otherwise then vouchers for one of the outdoor shops would be wonderful as I need a new bit of kit. But whatever you do, please don’t get me a gift experience as I dislike them and can never use them.

Birthday arrives and I get a voucher, for a different shop. And a gift experience for a very specific thing that I’d no interest in.

Was I disappointed? Yes. And hurt. It would have been better if they’d not asked but to be asked then just ignored. I felt like persona non grata. My best mates. Then I have to feign delight so they don’t feel bad and I’m not judged to be an ungrateful person, on my birthday. It sucks!

I'm sure its all well intentioned and as pp have said we all have received undesirabe presents in the past.
DSIL recently bought a £250 voucher for my husbands 50th for a stay at a luxury family hotel, I was so excited, until I realised that the minimum stay at weekends and school holidays was 2 nights and the family suite that would have accommodated us and our children was £449 per night.....

Sell it on eBay, I’d hate it too.

OK, final update. The company got back to me and the only way to get a refund on it is with the place it was purchased - in this case WH Smiths somewhere in the south east. In order to see exactly what is on offer you have to validate the voucher using an activation number but once validated you cannot get a refund. Seems like the only winner is the company.

So it's impossible for me to use without incurring additional travel expense and time and it's virtually impossible to get a refund as it would mean posting it to my pal, assuming he still has his receipt and all the embarrassing rudeness that would entail.

My friend is travelling to Glasgow next week to visit her student son so she said she'd take it for him, at least he and a pal can get a free meal out of it if they don't fancy anything else. I didn't want anything for it and said I'd prefer if she could make a donation to a charity instead if she feels she has to pay something. I could never re-gift such a complicated faff.

If nothing else, I hope this acts as some sort of cautionary tale to those who think gift experiences are a good idea. The majority of posts on this thread would suggest otherwise as does the 50% take-up rate. So think carefully before ever buying one for someone as you could be flinging your money down the drain with only the greedy experience company getting anything out of it.

So you can only return it to the Smiths where he bought it? That’s rubbish.

For those of you about to embark on the yearly nightmare of buying stuff for people that don't want anything, and then receiving gifts of stuff you don't want, suggest to your friends/family that you either stop buying or do something like a Secret Santa amongst everyone. The 8 adults in my family do a £20 Secret Santa every year, using one of the many websites specifically set up where you can add wish lists/links to what you actually do want. It works a treat and means the end to all the unnecessary hassle and stress!

We did the same for many years Limer. It worked well.
Then in recent years we decided to knock the whole thing on the head. No one does gifts at all.

Totally agree, just stop giving presents, you can still enjoy Christmas and all the festivities without having to exchange unwanted gifts, we only give to Under 18s in our family, and we give cash. So my present buying is sorted this year - one £20 note in an envelope . We still enjoy meeting up, having nice meals, Carol Services, giving to charity etc etc but no one ends up with a pile of unwanted ‘stuff’.
I work in a charity shop & we are inundated with unwanted presents after Christmas , at least it helps our sales!

OP what a pain. Are you going to tell your friend?

I don't do Christmas for a few reasons but it's great to say "I don't do Xmas" and be out of the rounds of mad presents. Re your other friends OP, my best friend does things like that and doesn't believe in looking at wishlists or giving vouchers. I ignore it now because I know they'll stand by me but it did bug me a lot, especially as I live in a tiny flat and can't store what I actually need! The waste of money is bizarre but if they never see the stuff in use and still want to buy it, what can I do!