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Original poster

Yet another fecking gift experience that is useless

259 replies

Jaggypinecone · 19/10/2019 11:27

I am utterly sick of these. I know they are well intentioned but I have never used any yet as they are too far away or just not our thing.

I'd hoped to avoid this happening again by 'having the conversation' with the person who usually buys me one for Xmas but it arrived early as he can't make it home for Xmas this year.

When you think about it, it's basically telling someone how you think they should spend their time. Time is the most precious gift of all and I don't want to spend mine shoehorning an afternoon tea for two at some shitty hotel or a fecking segway trip into my already busy schedule. It was bought down in London so is London centric. Given I live in the Scottish Highlands the nearest thing is in Edinburgh - sigh!

Straight to charity shop. And I'll need to 'have the conversation' well before xmas time next year. Any advice on how best to word this?

OP posts:
DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 21/10/2019 07:57

I've just driven across the Highlands (from Uig to Inverness and then back again) and to be honest, I'd do almost anything to avoid doing it again! It was bloody terrifying! And as frost starts to be more likely, it isn't getting any more fun. In my experience, people who live in the Highlands do so because they don't want to live in a town, or travel to one, and would hugely resent the massive hassle and expense of travelling to use a voucher for something they wouldn't have chosen to do anyway.
I think your mistake was not speaking up the first time, OP. I agree it's a gift that is more about the giver feeling good about giving something expensive, rather than the recipient getting something they like though. My sister does this, and is quite open about not caring if the recipient likes their gift. It's all about her and making a show of what she can afford. I'm sure that's not what your friend is doing, but they are being thoughtless.

Harvey3 · 21/10/2019 08:06

I agree with you OP. It completely depends where and what it is - within an hours drive and something you enjoy doing, great. If you have to spend money on train tickets and accommodation, for something that isn't your cup of tea, it becomes way more hassle than it's worth. You probably also spend more on getting there than the experience cost originally, then have to keep making excuses to the well-meaning giver on why you haven't been yet. Would prefer that the giver didn't waste their money!

spababe · 21/10/2019 08:13

Waitrose will take John Lewis vouchers and vice versa.
Experience vouchers can be a nightmare. I'm currently trying to use a family afternoon tea voucher at a local hotel before it expires. Trouble is my DC are both at Uni miles away and the voucher can only be used on a weekday. They both worked over the Summer. Oh and one has food allergies...

Troels · 21/10/2019 08:47

How rude and ungrateful some people are.
My elderly mother spents weeks trying to pick stuff for my sons and partners for Christmas and they ended up with experience gifts. All got used this summer and all had fun. Train ride in the lake district, Indoor skydiving, Something in Chester (can't remember)
The kids are adults, have everything they need and want, goood jobs, no kids and don't need smelly sets and couch throws or other personal stuff at Christmas.
One year I got tickets for the train ride up Snowdon. It took us till September to use them watching weather reports and then getting booked, but was well worth it.

CheekyWombat101 · 21/10/2019 09:00

They’ve given you a gift with which you can do as you please. If you would like to donate it to charity I’m sure they don’t mind, as this is now your possession to do with as you wish.

By buying you a gift, even if you don’t like it, they’ve shown a gesture that they thought of you and deemed you worthy of their time and money in finding the gift, no matter how lazy or thoughtless you decide it is.

Repurpose it, give it to charity, sell it. Who cares. But you could really do with being a bit kinder to your friend and to yourself.

manicmij · 21/10/2019 09:12

Depends which area of the Highlands. Aviemore to Edinburgh - 2 hours. Not all that bad. However if you don't like this kind of gift then you need to let giver know.

BarbaraofSeville · 21/10/2019 09:24

^My elderly mother spents weeks trying to pick stuff for my sons and partners for Christmas and they ended up with experience gifts.......
The kids are adults, have everything they need and want, good jobs, no kids and don't need smelly sets and couch throws or other personal stuff at Christmas^

So why does she do it?

Because she wants to/feels obliged to give them a gift. It's not compulsory and there's no need, especially as it sounds like they have the money to buy and do what they want, when they want without the Grandma feeling pressured into choosing, deciding, worrying about picking the right and wrong thing etc.

And then the grandchildren have to do the thing, within the constraints that are likely to be time and location restricted and the whole thing probably cost more than if they just decided to go off skydiving or whatever at a time and location of their choosing.

Why doesn't she just invite them all round for tea or a meal, have a nice afternoon/evening together and give them all a bottle of fizz and some nice chocolates?

Willow2017 · 21/10/2019 10:09

By buying you a gift, even if you don’t like it, they’ve shown a gesture that they thought of you and deemed you worthy of their time and money in finding the gift, no matter how lazy or thoughtless you decide it is.

If someone lives at the other end of the country it is thoughtless. How on earth do.they expect anyone to use it?

I wouldn't even go 2hrs away for a sub standard afternoon tea which would be much nicer without the voucher as many people have pointed out they usually are.
4hrs driving £40 on petrol , for tea I could get closer to home and probably a much better one? No thanks.
What's the point of giving someone a gift and telling them to give it away? Waste of time and money and the person still gets nothing.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 21/10/2019 10:29

What is the voucher for Jaggy? I'm in Edinburgh next week en famile, so if it's something I could use I'll take it off your hands for a suitable donation to a charity of your choice.

I agree though, very annoying. On the bright side, ar least it's not contributing to landfill!

Original poster
Jaggypinecone · 21/10/2019 12:51

I’m waiting to hear back from the company as apparently they don’t recognise the voucher code.

It is a generic experience voucher for 550 experiences UK wide. If you narrow it down to Scotland and a £50 limit you have 44 choices, mainly in central belt. Those north of central belt include afternoon tea in Oban (4 hour round trip in car), two photo shoots in Dundee (totally not my thing), a meal in either Inverness or Aberdeen at a restaurant chain (2 hour round trip) or a whisky tasting in Fife which is a bit of a busman’s holiday for me as I used to work in the industry and have tasted more whisky than you could shake a stick at plus it’s still a two hour round trip.

I forgot to mention that it is a couples gift as it is for me and DH. He works full time which often involves driving great distances. Not something he would want to do to redeem a voucher.

OP posts:
IrmaFayLear · 21/10/2019 13:00

I'm not ungrateful if I receive one of these, but sometimes they are more trouble than they're worth. Dh's friend gave me a chair-painting experience (!). I rang to book, but the woman told me I had to come in and book in person. It was 20 miles away! So I said, ok, I'll come in then probably one Thursday. Oh, no, said she, when they were taking bookings a board went up outside and it was first come, first served. And, also, the season ended in a few weeks' time so the voucher was no longer valid. So that was £100 down the drain.

I also had a local attraction pass, which we didn't really want. So I rang the local primary school (where the dcs used to go) and offered them the pass for a school fete prize etc. The miserable hag on reception told me they didn't accept donations from random people . FO then. With knobs on.

Whitney168 · 21/10/2019 13:42

Sell it on ebay and use the money for something you do want

Good luck with that, there are thousands of the buggers on there and most not selling - no-one else wants them either!

Whitney168 · 21/10/2019 13:46

Only 'experience voucher' I've ever received was from my sister, who is the queen of buying people presents that she thinks they should want rather than anything that they actually do.

Restaurant for small proportion of the expected bill at a restaurant specifically at a set time on a Friday, two hours drive in either direction, anyone? So, we would need to take at least an afternoon off, drive 4 hours, either drive home late at night or pay to stay, and pay the rest of the bill for a restaurant we'd not have chosen to go to anyway.

Luckily she got so arsey about us not using it that she never repeated it (and just reverted to buying her usually mostly unsuitable stuff that could at least go to the charity shop so wasn't money entirely down the drain).

Original poster
Jaggypinecone · 21/10/2019 16:44

Oh dear - this doesn't bode well. Gets dreadful reviews for experiences that don't even exist.

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5738643

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 21/10/2019 18:05

These are all subjective opinions, of course....

Yet another fecking gift experience that is useless
WeshMaGueule · 21/10/2019 18:23

My ILs got us a three-day Rhine cruise as a wedding present. They knew full well we had a nine-month-old and no-one to babysit (ILs live abroad). Complete waste of time and money and a massive hassle to cancel and get the money back.

ItIsWhatItIsInnit · 21/10/2019 19:03

Oh, I love gift experiences Sad I get to try cool restaurants I otherwise wouldn't go to. I've asked for only experiences as presents now, as I'm a bit minimalist and any "stuff" I get ends up in charity without fail.

Takemyhand · 21/10/2019 19:42

I was looking in John Lewis where I think my experience day was bought... £35 for afternoon tea for two. I’ve booked mine at Cafe Rogue where the normal price would be £25. Hmm...

Takemyhand · 21/10/2019 19:43

Oh dear OP I’ve seen your update. That’s not good!

Rezie · 21/10/2019 19:54

I'm sorry to make my own complaint. I've agreed with a friend that we won't buy presents to avoid this. Yet every christmas she shows up with something small or with a gift basket. grr.

Rezie · 21/10/2019 19:56

@itiswhatitisinnit I don't think there is anything wrong with experiene gifts. It's about knowing the person if they would enjoy the activity. Or how much money they have to spend to use the gift. I I have to get a return train ticket and pay for hotel to use the voucher then it becomes expensive.

babbi · 21/10/2019 20:02

For the last 5 years I’ve received a gift from a friend which costs me around £120 to use ..

Think Spa day .... travel costs , + snacks + treatments to pay for ( the gift is entrance only to use the pool - everything else is additional)

It’s very kind of her to think of me but ... I’m all honesty I’d rather go without .. it costs me more than the gift giver 🙄😂

Blackbear19 · 21/10/2019 20:12

Babbi that's a definite give the gifter the same gift and suggest you go togetherWink

Pericombobulations · 21/10/2019 20:24

I used to buy these gift experiences as a prize for a company I used to work at. The stipulation was that the gift had to be available from a large number of locations or to include accommodation & meals as anything that involved the winner having to spend money to use was therefore not a prize and we couldnt offer.

I look at gift giving in a similar light, if the recipient has to spend any money to use, it isnt a gift.

Having said all that, my brother refused to use my Amazon wish list as "there wasnt anything he liked on it" and another year he rang me from a supermarket asking what wine we would like for Christmas. I told him none as DH & I dont drink wine, chocolate or biscuits would be much more appreciated. Come Christmas day, the predicted gift of a bottle of wine appeared for us. That was the year that I told him not to bother buying presents for us again as our regifting cupboard of wine was full.

When the gift giver, gives presents that they want and not the recipient, it is very lazy thinking. OP - Charity shop, regift or ebay it if you can. you cant

jade9390 · 22/10/2019 03:31

The beer thing sounded like a free thing. It is possible this person buys everyone the same without thinking, we can only ever use them for a meal locally, as there is nothing else and live in the south. Maybe best to just thank them and tell them that there is nothing near you, so they are not used.

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