What do you ACTUALLY judge mothers on?

[Ketomeato]

Inspired by the child in the buggy thread, I realised I hardly judge anything really, mainly because I have an unruly child with additional needs so in our house, pretty much anything goes. You have to be kind, and you have to wear pants. And that’s it.

What does anyone actually judge about, regarding parents with young children?

I generally subscribe to "this is a snapshot of their day" with most kids and parents

I do judge along the lines of other posters with the screaming and swearing in aggressive way as if to an adult and then you see they are speaking to a toddler 
and the attendant issues that usually come with that like dirty, poorly clothed little ones

Those parents who are just good "enough" not to be on the radar of social services but really aren't good enough for their little ones

The only parent(s) I personally know or rather once knew that I actively judge are along the lines of what @Baguetteaboutit said

Two people who have selfishly dragged their children along in pursuit of their own dream/unusual lifestyle. Their oldest child now doesn't have any common currency with their peers and is considered "different" and "weird" They minimise this completely because admitting it means admitting that their lifestyle and the degree to which they've subscribed to it is deeply flawed and that they have placed it above their children's young lives and life milestones

A lot.
I am a very Judgey cow.

I inwardly judge. Hard.

Overindulgence.

@Fluffetta well in the early days you often have to chance nappies frequently.

My girl has never had a nappy rash and I genuinely credit to frequent nappy changes

-Hate when parents (not just mothers) leave their kids mess all over the table and floor in a cafe/restaurant. It takes 2 minutes to clean up and is just basic manners.

Also when you can see a kids nappy sagging down to the floor....

Smoking with or near children. Smoking when pregnant. And especially smoking with children in a car. It makes me want to be violent. And I’m an ex smoker.

Smacking and swearing. It is never ok to tell a child to their face that they are a little shit.

I don’t judge much else, especially if I don’t know the circumstances. One thing I definitely never judge is children still in nappies when most others the same age are not. I’ve seen a few friends really struggle when the child is just not ready (sometimes because of additional but invisible needs) and they’ve been judged for it.

Letting your feral brat crawl around

I judge people who talk about children like this

Parents who drink a lot around their children, particularly at activities that are supposedly child-centred or that never used to involve alcohol. It cuts across all social classes.
When I was little, if our mums got together with us children, they’d chat and have a laugh over coffee and biscuits. Now everything seems to involve shitloads of wine or gin. Same with dads, they could take us out to the park without clutching a can of lager.
I know I shouldn’t, but I do judge parents of baby and toddler girls dressed in scratchy, glittery tat proclaiming them to be “Daddy’s Little Princess” or “Diva!”, or even worse, a few years back when little girl stuff was available bearing the Playboy bunny motif

I mostly judge on neglectful behaviour. Smoking around kids, pushing a baby around in a car seat for hours, speaking nastily, not paying attention, walking away leaving the child trailing behind, letting them run loose in inappropriate and unsafe places, not wearing warm clothes or hats and sunscreen, etc. I also judge dirty kids - it’s not hard to wipe them. I hate sticky hands and faces, there’s just no need for it.

I’m afraid I am the parent who gives toddler DC McDonalds - mostly when I’m desperate for them to eat something, anything. And I’m the parent who hands over a tablet when we’ve exhausted their interest in books and colouring pencils but we haven’t finished our meal yet and they’re starting to whinge and wriggle.

meganxz

Ok but I specified toddlers, not babies.

I judge pretty much all of it tbh. I’m judgey as fuck. But I never say anything out loud.

Parents who don't discipline their supposedly adorable 5 year old for belting another child yet again

Pierced ears on children

Those ridiculous jo jo mama bullshit whatever bows omg they make me sick

Overweight kids - child abuse in my opinion. Give the kid a chance and let him run around without an extra layer or blubber.

I don't judge screens in general, but I do judge when parents moan about how much time their kids spend on devices or other screens. Just take them off them, ffs, you were the one who supplied it, most like.

Smoking, excessive swearing around young children, driving while drinking and changing nappies where people are eating.

I hear kids read at my dc's school. While I will never sat it out loud, I judge the families who never read with their dc (especially when the dc so desperately want to read with an adult).

I judge an idiot parent who lives on my street who tells his son not to play with my dc as he doesn't want to be seen playing with girls too.

Oh no my kids are often dirty, I swear sometimes, don't read much with them, go on my phone in their presence. They are often rude and out of control. I must get judged badly a lot. But then, I already thought so. Oh well. As my Mum used to say, at least if you're the worst you make others feel better about themselves so you're useful in that way.

Smoking around them, and while pregnant.

Coke in baby bottles for toddlers I'm the sheer amount of small children on the dental surgery list at my local hospital is staggering.

No car seats/no seat belts.

Pierced ears, circumcision, FGM.

Yes the majority of 2 year olds are still in nappies during the day these days but I don't agree with it and I judge. It's weird to have a 2 year old soiling themselves! It's basic self care and they're 2. Chances are parents who still have 2 year olds in nappies are the sort who use disposables and has the kid in front of the TV daily too.

To be honest I usually assume a 2 year old in nappies has some sort of disability. I acknowledge usually they don't and it's the parents, but always my first thought.

@Stompythedinosaur I can't wait for mine to read to me, my eldest will be starting reception in the upcoming school year, it'll give my voice a break 😁 mine rarely read with me, both to me or listened to me read. Made me so sad, I treasured the time we got 1-on-1 with a teacher/TA who'd take us out with the purpose of listening to us.

hopity, my dc were still very much in nappies at 2. In fact, trying to toilet train my dd at 22 months led to serious withholding issues and made her rather ill. I'm interested as to why you'd assume from their nappies that they're plonked in front of a screen all day, especially as just this week I have been "judged" by someone for being too controlling for limiting their screen time!

Things I see a lot on my school run and hate are smoking, especially when your children have asthma, and constant sweets and lollies, including little toddlers and on the way into school in the morning. Kids who are glued to mum's phone in a forward facing buggy every single morning and afternoon with no interaction from parent other than being berated.

As a teacher I am sad when parents show no interest whatsoever in their children's schooling and don't support them in any way.

I only judge things like that would be actual abuse or neglect.

However some choices that some parents make, make me feel sad when I see them. Things such as not listening to their children, not giving them their time, not showing an interest in their childrens hobbies/interests, parents who over discipline, parents who under discipline, parents who are very extreme one way or the other with things like sweets, games consoles, mobile phones, parents who seem to lack awareness or don't care of the importance to their children that they fit in and want certain trainers for example.

Preschool children walking around with dummies.

I judge separated parents who think their kids are "pay per view", or talk about how much or little time they will "allow" the other parent to spend with their own children.

Feeding a one year old KFC