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Original poster

What do you ACTUALLY judge mothers on?

358 replies

Ketomeato · 16/10/2019 19:55

Inspired by the child in the buggy thread, I realised I hardly judge anything really, mainly because I have an unruly child with additional needs so in our house, pretty much anything goes. You have to be kind, and you have to wear pants. And that’s it.

What does anyone actually judge about, regarding parents with young children?

OP posts:
Busydrinkingcoffee1 · 16/10/2019 22:38

This thread is awful!! Shoot me down because I have a 2 year old still in nappies, has a dummy for sleeping, has the odd fruit shoot and watches at least two episodes of paw patrol a day. He's in a forward facing car seat and goes for sleepovers at granny's about once a month.

But he's also a very very loved little boy, spot on developmentally, is gorgeous, loving and empathetic , who is always smiling and happy.

I'm sure I'm not the only person that has been reading this thread and is now feeling pretty miserable wondering how many people judge them and doubting themselves.

GummyBear81 · 16/10/2019 22:38

Smoking near them, physical and verbal abuse, swearing at them (not like "ffs" but, "you fucking cunt")

SunshineAngel · 16/10/2019 22:41

I don't judge a huge deal because life's tough, but one thing I cannot stand is seeing parents on their phones with their kids - and being really distant because their attention is on their phone and not on their child.

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Families
Tigger001 · 16/10/2019 22:41

I only really judge on safety.

Dont be the idiot on your phone while your child is being a horror in playgroup/soft play or by a road on their chosen mode of transport.

Running away on shopping centres, streets, car parks is avoidable and unacceptable.

Or

Shouting, pulling, smacking or just general bullying of a minor

Tigger001 · 16/10/2019 22:43

bold fail on my 1st post in this thread

Maryclary0 · 16/10/2019 22:43

I assume you lot are all absolutely perfect?

Skinnychip · 16/10/2019 22:44

I judge mums who have spent more time than they should have getting themselves dressed up for the school run.

I have a mixture of envy/admiration for women who look like they have spent a long time getting ready (and look great!!)

fluffymuggle · 16/10/2019 22:44

Smoking and being drunk around children, they way they speak to their children I.e. shouting, swearing, name calling. Any physical abuse etc.

ilovebagpuss · 16/10/2019 22:45

Keeping little ones out really late somewhere like a busy pub when they are not at a family party or something just stuck in the buggy while parents ignore.
Swearing at young children not the odd swear in normal life but “fucking hurry up” type comments.
Juice in bottles

morrisseysquif · 16/10/2019 22:45

I judge mums who have spent more time than they should have getting themselves dressed up for the school run.

How do you know, I can look amazing with a stroke of blusher and some eyedrops and nobody knows I got very little sleep. More so when off to work.

Aria2015 · 16/10/2019 22:49

Not holding hands when walking on pavements next to a busy road (young children obviously). Smoking around children. Swearing around children.

Chillisauceboss · 16/10/2019 22:52

Super fancy outfits that they aren't allowed to play in or get dirty
Full sugar drinks such as coke or Ribena in a bottle
Kids that graze constantly on sweets all the time not just on a birthday party for example
Pierced ears on babies
Swearing and smoking infront of them
Excessive 'threats' if you don't shut up you're not getting any presents etc - constant empty threats
I will get flamed (again) but I judge if absolutely zero attempt at breastfeeding for no reason. There are plenty of valid reasons but some mums say it didn't want to' I judge that.
Kids that have absolutely no routine - the young kids up until they crash from exhaustion at 11pm then are sobbing and irritated on the way to primary school. Some kids don't sleep, I get that but some parents implement zero structure to assist in this.
Oh and Mums that think softplay is a crèche and allow their older kids to run wild and boisterous in the under 1 area
Oh I'm a judgy pants!!!

Wheat2Harvest · 16/10/2019 22:52

Parents who let their child run around with a lollipop in his/her mouth, especially those spherical Chupa Chups ones.

I can't look.

JLo1979 · 16/10/2019 22:59

The woman who put her shopping on top of her buggy today so that the buggy fell backwards and her little boy walloped his head off the tiled floor. Myself and another person picked up the buggy and the woman put the shopping back on the buggy and walked off. I can't believe she didn't take him out and check the back of his head.

Smoking, pubs(spent my childhood in pubs, hated it), ignoring children's obnoxious or violent behaviour and citing tiredness as the reason.

JLo1979 · 16/10/2019 22:59

The woman who put her shopping on top of her buggy today so that the buggy fell backwards and her little boy walloped his head off the tiled floor. Myself and another person picked up the buggy and the woman put the shopping back on the buggy and walked off. I can't believe she didn't take him out and check the back of his head.

Smoking, pubs(spent my childhood in pubs, hated it), ignoring children's obnoxious or violent behaviour and citing tiredness as the reason.

Tigger001 · 16/10/2019 23:00

Oohhh and the "Santa is watching" threat and the ridiculous fake santa cams....own it!!! Your child should want to behave for you!!!

And when you hear a parent shouting "one more time and we are leaving" then you hear the same parent 15 mins later still shouting "no, mummy said no, stop"
FOLLOW THROUGH OR BE QUIET

goingtotown · 16/10/2019 23:02

Pushing the pram whilst looking down on their phone.

Drogosnextwife · 16/10/2019 23:04

Not going to lie, I judge on quite a lot of things, but I don't just judge mothers, I judge the fathers just as much.

JenniferM1989 · 16/10/2019 23:11

BusyDrinkingCoffee1, I actually wouldn't judge anything you do. Like I said, people can judge me for giving my son chicken dippers twice a week. For me, it's definitely smoking around the child, phone use when watching the child and putting new partners above children that is what gets my goat. TV use, nappies at 2 (who the fuck said that? My son is almost 3 and still in nappy pants!) And what you give for treats etc is never something I would judge. I also give fruit shoots to my son.

UmptyDumpty1 · 16/10/2019 23:12

2 day’s ago I saw a mum pushing her Oran with a baby must have been around 1 wearing only a vest it was freezing & the baby had bare legs it did shock me. But there may be another reason but it did shock me

betternamepending · 16/10/2019 23:17

Smacking.
Having a new boyfriend every year who has to move in immediately as well and be the new dad for the kids.
Using bad language around the children.
Smoking around the children.
Getting drunk around the children.
Letting new boyfriend smoke weed around the children.
Not brushing teeth of children.
Not teaching children to say hello, goodbye and thank you.

Rainbowknickers · 16/10/2019 23:28

We where in the pub the other day with some friends
about 10 kids where running around squirting ketchup on tables and just running around screaming
We thought the parents would take them home at some point
How wrong where we?
We left at midnight and they where still running round,screaming and squirting ketchup on the tables

At work one woman comes in-the kids swear,shout,tip food everywhere,run round,scream,walk into staff cupboards,steal anything that’s not pinned down-anything from balloons to purses are fair game ,climb up and down the stairs and are just little sods-mum sits there staring at her phone Ignoring them
and she’s just had another one even though she doesn’t bother with the ones she’s got

Parents that just issue empty threats-and the kids know it

I try not to judge-I know what it’s like having a shitty day with kids but some parents are jokes

shinynewapple · 16/10/2019 23:31

My DS wasn't dry in the day until 3 and a half, dry at night until 7. Drank milk from a bottle still at 3 and slept with a dummy until 5

I used to worry sometimes about not meeting milestones but didn't realise I was being judged by other parents

Thankfully DS has successfully reached 18, passed his GCSEs, has a full time job, sporty hobbies and plenty of friends.

I wouldn't say I judged exactly, but there was a little girl in DS class in primary school and when her mom collected her from school she did nothing but nag her. I used to feel so sorry for her.

I am aware through my work of a lot of properly bad parenting. Sometimes there are mitigating circumstances but sometimes it's plain selfishness.

deplorabelle · 16/10/2019 23:34

People who are overwhelmed with family life already but decide to get a dog because they want one then moan about how hard it is to look after the kids AND the dog. Extra points if they've never had a dog before and don't know how to handle one.

CookieDoughKid · 16/10/2019 23:36

Kids with bad manners. I judge the parents.