Anxiety. Far more prevalent today? Overused term?

[Miljah]

I barely open any thread on MN now concerning an issue someone has where they haven't used the word 'anxiety'.

I think of anxiety being a (diagnosed) disproportionate fear reaction that overwhelms your life like the Generalised Anxiety Disorder described on the NHS website.

Of course, I know that more or less everyone has the odd moment of fear- it's a useful thing, adrenaline kicks in, your fight/flight reaction; that helps you overcome whatever it is that initiated your fear reaction.

But I suspect we are trivialising the medical condition of GAD, as described in the link, by chucking the term 'anxiety' around so freely.

I was just reading about a young adult, first year uni, who phoned her mum at 4.30am because she thought she could smell burning; mother found the number of the Halls security and mum called it herself. And it was duly sorted out.

But people who asked why the DD hadn't begun to deal with it locally herself was met with 'Oh, daughter has anxiety'.... is that anxiety or lack of gumption?

Are we infantalising our youngsters by excusing such behaviour by labelling it 'anxiety'?

Stoicism has indeed rather gone out of fashion.

We used to hear oh so and so suffers from their nerves. Not a new thing.

That mother's behaviour is unhelpful in the long term - if the young woman in question never has to do anything for herself she'll never learn that she can do anything for herself.

However.

Anxiety disorders affect around 20% of the population at any one time. If someone says they have anxiety, I tend to believe them.

Anecdotally, ime (working with people who have low mood/anxiety) people with anxiety tend to communicate a lot, much more than people with depression. Be careful when you ask someone with GAD 'how are you?' because the answer is likely to take 20 minutes. It is no surprise to me that anxious people use internet forums a lot.

And I guess it makes sense that anxious women might congregate on Mumsnet in particular. Pregnancy, birth and child rearing can all be highly anxiety-provoking, and the whole raison d'etre of the site is for parents to support each other. So yes, of course there are lots of anxious people here.

I'm 38 and I had my first panic attack out of nowhere when I was 14, I'd always been an nervous child though. So that was 1994 and I didn't know what it was until I had it. I was eventually diagnosed with GAD

I can manage it now although it still rears its head at times. I never ever speak about it. I see it as just the way I am.

There was a thread on here a couple of weeks ago where a poster, an adult, was talking about getting her mum to phone someone on her behalf and when people pointed out that it was part of adulthood to do these things yourself, they were shouted down as being nasty and cruel. And lots of talk about having anxiety about using the phone.

But I feel that some people don't realise that feeling nervous about making an 'official' type phonecall is very normal. I've been working for 20 years, having to ring people all that time, and I still have to take a deep breath and give myself a talking to before I pick up the phone. Most adults that I know would never initiate a phonecall in front of another person, because it makes them feel self conscious. I don't feel that it all that helpful to just say 'oh, Sally doesn't like using the phone'. We all have to do things that we don't like, and that we heave a sigh of relief.

I do have a diagnosis of generalised anxiety disorder. At the point where I was diagnosed, I was incapable of functioning normally. I was sitting for hours rocking backwards and forwards and shaking from head to toe, having palpitations, ringing my husband a dozen times a day to check that he was still alive, and all sorts of other stuff like that. When I hear people describe things like eg feeling a bit awkward in a group of people that they don't know as 'having anxiety' I do tend to feel a bit frustrated by it.

My dm used to say I was "highly strung".

I now recognise the same behaviours in my dd who has been diagnosed with anxiety.

However what I do notice is that it is much easier for her to say "I have anxiety" and get out of doing something. I had to get on and do my best.

I worry that it's not building up any resilience for her, as I can see her not attempting to do things that she could manage if she tried, and often people are afraid to say "no you have to give it a go" when she's saying "it's making my anxiety worse."
Often if she can be persuaded o give it a go, she will then be absolutely fine, and it's much better for her overall mental health as she sees herself succeeding.

This isn’t an accident, it’s quite deliberate - and well documented in the case of GAD
www.theguardian.com/news/2002/jul/30/medicineandhealth

Personally I have been suffering from anxiety since I was pregnant but I struggle to use the term as it causes such eye rolls these days. I’ve never experienced anything like it before and it’s quite frightening.

I think it’s the new OCD where obviously, anxiety, like OCD is a major mental health problem, my sister failed her third year of uni as her anxiety was such that she literally couldn’t leave the house. She can’t learn to drive because of it and has had to quit jobs and ended up spending a night in a psychiatric ward

Occasionally feeling a bit anxious about something is a normal emotion and does not = clinical anxiety

I'm 42, when I was 7ish I was aware both my parents had tranquilizers prescribed for stress. They used to go to relaxation classes run by the GP. My mum was sectioned a few times, first time being when I was 10. She was deeply ashamed of her mental health difficulties.

Occasionally feeling a bit anxious about something is a normal emotion and does not = clinical anxiety

^ This.

A family member has diagnosed anxiety, and it is a horrible condition to have to live with. So it peeves me somewhat when people bandy the term about, when actually all they mean is that they are a bit concerned or worried about something.

Well, I admit I wondered whether the first 10 responses would be outrage for even suggesting the term has been hijacked!

Thank you for your considered replies!

Many people say they have anxiety now instead of just saying they are worried.

cometothinkofit and, might I add, is that those who use it casually also use it to avoid adulting? Like someone else said, the 'Oh, I can't, because I have anxiety'.

Resilience does seem a bit thin on the ground, sometimes, and I don't think we're doing our youngsters any favours in allowing them to not get the buzz of realising that, yes, actually I can...

DS1 had a teacher who didn't believe he was anxious and it was just unacceptable behaviour (avoidance). The clinical psychologist disagreed with the teacher's "diagnosis".

I was only thinking of this the other day. Every 2nd person seems to 'have' anxiety, and there seems to almost be a trend with famous people having it too. I'm not saying it's not much more prevalent now, it probably is, due to the society we've created for ourselves. And I'm not in anyway disregarding people with genuine issues, panic attacks, fears of social interactions etc.
But a friend of mine would say she 'has anxiety', because she felt a bit nervous before her wedding (doesn't everyone?), and because she worried about the baby a bit while she was pregnant (again, I thought this was normal?), and sometimes doesn't get a full 8 hours sleep (I actually rarely get more than 3 or 4, and would never think to describe myself this way).

Oh resilience. Funny, I said the same thing to my mum when she was having one of her psychotic episodes(!).

oooohbetty (like that!) Yes, I agree. Playing the 'anxiety' card, deliberately or not, can effectively shut down any 'Yes, feel the fear, but do it, anyway' response, can't it?

I guess it distresses me that there appears to be so many young people, apparently capable of the discipline needed to get to uni (OK, albeit on DDF... ); to make the choice to leave home, accrue eyewatering debt, be thrown into a melting pot of others, to start adulting- but maybe, if their first response to any and every challenge is to 'phone mum' ('She has anxiety, you know')- maybe shouldn't be there, yet? Wouldn't uni catapult a young person who already can't manage their lives over the edge, potentially? Surely if your child were diagnosed with GAD, together you would have put together some sort of support package, as you might with ASD? But if it's just a word you've slapped on them as they're melting down every time they're challenged, perhaps you, as a parent, didn't instil enough, if any resilience in your child? (And maybe you, like on the FB page, quite like how they come running to you at the first signs of challenge...?)

But it's all over MN. Every batshit crazy relationship situation suddenly makes us back off telling truths because the poster has anxiety.

Dobbins that is very different. Your child has an expert diagnosis. It is, in fact, people like him who are being short-changed by this 'epidemic' of anxiety. The teacher will have heard worried parents bandy that term around over and over again, as to why their child can't x, y or z.

The term has been debased.

Whilst I agree that claims of anxiety are not all
accurate, and that it’s soemtimes used as an excuse, I think there’s another element. That’s the way our society has developed, leading to more clinical-level anxiety. Especially the way that tech has replaced face to face interactions for many children.

I agree op, it does seem to be an excuse to avoid adulting. And is thrown around too often as an excuse for poor behaviour and trivialising genuine GAD which can be debilitating.

There are so many posts on MN alone that claim anxiety, and often have the phrase 'my anxiety is the through the roof', when more often than not it's someone who is worried/anxious about something within the normal range.

This trivialising of a genuine condition is why so many people are flippant/dismissive of someone who does genuinely have anxiety. It's not surprising really, if for example, a teacher has heard 'oh they have anxiety' as an excuse for poor behaviour when a child genuinely has anxiety they are less likely to take it seriously. While that's not acceptable, you can see why it happens.

Yes, somerville. I am always stunned, on MN, by how normalised never answering your phone to an unknown number is, let alone answering the door!!!!

I can't remember it verbatim, but I heard a podcast with Stephen Fry who said something along the lines of now that AI and machines do so much for us, it's given us the time to focus on ourselves and our minds. I thought it was quite a valid explanation of one of the reasons why anxiety and mental health has become more prevalent.

I'm a teacher and I am sick to death of 16-18 year olds claiming they are too "anxious" to sit in the hall to do their mock exams with the amount of other student in there too. They claim they simply cannot do it and demand a small room away from everyone due to their anxiety. Yet these are students who attend festivals, parties, nightclubs etc with large amounts of people. Exams are not meant to be fun. They are unpleasant experiences for everyone, but it is a part of life and you have to suck it up.

It's not doing them any favours of coping in the real world.

DS1 already had a diagnosis of ASD - he was DX at 3, this teacher was when he was 10. He had 25hrs 1:1 from reception via what was a statement of education.

The teacher is just a wanker, it had nothing to do with the common belief that anxiety is being wrongly used to describe what is actually just a lack of gumption.

I suffer generalised anxiety disorder and ptsd . I’m pleased it’s not such a secret stigma