Anxiety. Far more prevalent today? Overused term?

[Miljah]

I barely open any thread on MN now concerning an issue someone has where they haven't used the word 'anxiety'.

I think of anxiety being a (diagnosed) disproportionate fear reaction that overwhelms your life like the Generalised Anxiety Disorder described on the NHS website.

Of course, I know that more or less everyone has the odd moment of fear- it's a useful thing, adrenaline kicks in, your fight/flight reaction; that helps you overcome whatever it is that initiated your fear reaction.

But I suspect we are trivialising the medical condition of GAD, as described in the link, by chucking the term 'anxiety' around so freely.

I was just reading about a young adult, first year uni, who phoned her mum at 4.30am because she thought she could smell burning; mother found the number of the Halls security and mum called it herself. And it was duly sorted out.

But people who asked why the DD hadn't begun to deal with it locally herself was met with 'Oh, daughter has anxiety'.... is that anxiety or lack of gumption?

Are we infantalising our youngsters by excusing such behaviour by labelling it 'anxiety'?

There should absolutely be no shame for those who genuinely suffer from depression, anxiety, stress, OCD, but genuine sufferers are very different from the vast majority of us who from time to time are stressed, anxious or depressed as a perfectly normal reaction, and we should not take advantage of the greater tolerance/acceptance of mental issues by falsely claiming them almost as a badge of honour and using them as an excuse for avoiding stressful situations.

This.

Anxiety and fear and worry are normal. They are a part of life as a reaction to worrying situations or something you are nervous about. It only becomes an issue if it takes over your life.
I have cptsd and part of that is anxiety but I've had yrs of therapy and I now I am able to deal with my anxiety by acknowledging it and then getting on with whatever task anyway. It takes a lot of effort to get to that point and sometimes it's easier than other times.. It definitely irritates me when people use the word lightly.
We need to be open and honest about difficulties we have, about mental health issues but we also need to be teaching out children what is normal and healthy. To feel anxious about an exam is normal and is healthy. It is not a mental health disorder to feel anxious about something that is anxiety inducing!

This was Abstracted's post from this morning (hope you don't mind me lifting it in its entirety!):

"Surely the whole point is that everyone "has anxiety". It is completely normal and predictable to get anxious in new or unsettling situations.

Where our society has failed is in the pathologisation of anxiety. We are somehow brought up to think we should not get anxious, that it is wrong, bad and something to be avoided.

My mother's generation (war babies) was taught that you never show your kids that you are anxious (eg if one of them goes on holiday on their own for the first time). If your kid is worried you tell them not to be silly, nothing bad will happen; this dismisses their feelings and reinforces that they should not feel anxious. They have no parental model of healthy anxiety management.

My generation have swung the other way in response to feeling that their feelings of anxiety were dismissed by parents who told them to essentially pull themselves together, but remember that didn't stop them feeling bad. They vow to listen to their kids. Then when their child expresses anxiety they listen and they solve the problem for them; they step in, or they ask for adjustments, or whatever. They still think that anxiety is a terrible thing to be avoided and so they still try hard not to show the kid normal situations that make them anxious (eg going to the dentist, job interview) and they try to stop the feeling when it hits their child.

What we as a society have failed to teach our children:
Anxiety is normal
It is expected and predictable
It doesn't feel great, but that feeling won't hurt you
It passes

We need to SHOW our kids that we as adults do get nervous and anxious - it's NORMAL- but that we then manage it and have a successful conclusion. We need to say to that teenager off on their first holiday, "of course I feel a bit nervous about this, it's a big step, but I know you are sensible and well prepared and will handle it beautifully in the unlikely event that something goes wrong. Have a marvellous time". We need to say to our kids, "I really didn't sleep well because I was quite anxious about my big presentation at work today, but I prepared thoroughly, took a deep breath, and it went really well!"

When our youngsters get anxious we need to acknowledge their feelings and normalise them. We need to stop solving their problems on the one hand or dismissing their feelings on the other. Both those approaches lead to youngsters who think anxiety is a pathology to be avoided at all costs.

Teach your kids that anxiety is normal. "It's not surprising that you feel nervous on the first day of term; lots of the class will feel that way because you still have to get to know your teacher. I bet the teacher feels a bit that way, too; and I bet you will all feel ok by sometime!"
"No wonder you feel nervous about the test; most people get a bit anxious in these situations. As long as you have prepared well and tried your best that is all the teacher or I will expect".

We need to teach our children that avoiding situations which are genuinely not high threat level allows the anxiety, like a tomato plant, to grow unchallenged. Encourage them to try a bit and see how they feel rather than avoiding it. Ask them how they might solve the problem. Never tell them not to be silly or that there is nothing to fear; never tell them that mummy will help and not to worry because you will x,y,z beyond the age of about 4."

^^This.

I agree.

My industry can often be stressful and chaotic, and as I become calmer in those circumstances, I find colleagues that are more inclined to be anxious/ stressful are either deliberately put with me for certain tasks or request to be. (Not because I'm superior, it's simply a benefit of adhd. I struggle when it's too calm) I don't go about soothing anyone and I'm quite whirlwind like in the manner I work, it's simply the fact I'm very 'fuck it, it'll be fine, we'll do x'.

I generally find that those with either genuine anxiety, or anxiety tied into asd, trauma etc are very different to the armchair dx convenience anxiety group. The former don't want a big public pity party and rarely mention it. If they do, it's matter of fact, and more than likely to be in relation to something they want to do. Or in a talk me down/ give me some perspective manner. The latter group only remember their anxiety when things aren't going their way.

Eg working at a different site. Colleague A will want comprehensive facts first, down to the exact location of the problem, which team is in, specific issue and solutions tried, and various details that aren't relevant. Despite the fact he is capable of building his own form of transport to get to nasa, and in 30 minutes would have grasped the fine detail of the entire world space operation.

Colleague B will be delighted with the idea, until they google the travel time, and realise it means their day will be an hour longer. At which point the anxiety is wheeled out. Ditto any other awkward situation, where they attention seek whenever anything isn't going their way.

Meantime colleague A with actual anxiety has to deal with not only their own, but endure the histrionics of colleague b. If A walks quietly away I'll give them 5 minutes and then happily chat about unrelated subjects till they feel calm again.

But I'm a cold hearted bitch, because I'll make all the time in the world to provide A with the humongous list of facts they want, and perhaps say something along the lines of 'it's fine, if you turn up pissed 4hrs late you can do this shit in your sleep'. But won't drop everything and pander to B reassuring them that of course they don't have to go and everyone thinks they're marvellous.

And I refute the opinion of a pp that us stiff upper lip types are somehow contributing. I grew up with a b type that used it as an excuse for abuse and shit parenting. My adult way of dealing with it is to ignore them, but b types are always oblivious to the fact others might have their own problems, and label the likes of A and I, or anyone else dealing with their own greater problems, as unfeeling when we won't prioritise their none existent needs.

(I'm using colleague A & B but more than one of A exists and they both exist in other areas of my life)

Trainspotting has got it completely. I’ve gone back to work this week and not only am I nervous as one would expect but I’m struggling with anxiety levels. I expect my new colleagues think I’m shy, maybe socially awkward even, but in reality I’m doing everything I can to manage the way I feel so I retract into myself and I’m very quiet. Having someone be firm and direct is actually very reassuring because it’s easy to process amongst all the other shit that’s going through my brain and dealing with high levels of cortisol, adrenaline etc.

Anxiety is pathological for some. It isn’t a normal level of nervousness or feeling anxious- it’s the body going into true fight or flight which many people wouldn’t experience unless a lion was chasing them (light hearted but it’s all I could think of). I can’t describe how that feels when logically I know I’m ok and nothing that bad is going to happen. Being irrational, knowing it but not being able to rationalise isn’t fun.

Anxiety is normal. It is expected and predictable. It doesn't feel great, but that feeling won't hurt you. It passes

Pathological anxiety - which I am currently suffering from, for the first time in my life - is:

• Not normal
• Predictable only in that it is always there, but totally unpredictable in how it will manifest itself and in response to what (I can do my job at present, but I have been known to have a full-blown panic attack about hanging out laundry)
• It dpesn't physically hurt me BUT it makes me behave in ways that damage me and others, and significantly affects how I live my life and how much I enjoy it.
• It may pass. I hope so. I am currently being treated for it, and it is less severe than it was before treatment. However, it does not pass, or in any way lessen, when the 'obvious' cause for anxiety passes.

can't keep cake
I was talking about recommendations for teaching children to understand and manage anxiety. Although we do use that mantra for children with anxiety that is severely impacting their lives.

Anxiety often becomes unmanageable in children when it is brushed aside as silliness (causing shame) or treated as something dreadful to be avoided at all costs and managed away by avoiding the scary thing and letting Mum or Dad deal with it. Different people have different proclivity to be anxious, but children can learn to manage it better if you get in soon enough and change their cognitions.

So many people now us 'got anxiety' when they mean they're anxious. Its like people self diagnosing depression because they sometimes feel sad.

Excellent post by Abstracted

Ds suffered from a type of anxiety last year - it started small but the fear gradually started to take over his day - we are lucky, rather than have to go through the NHS etc - we just paid to see a psychiatrist, Ds was given the option of drugs or therapy and he chose drugs - I’d have preferred therapy - but anyway the fear left him over a few months and we were very relieved - I was determined to nip it in the bud - I don’t care about labels or diagnoses, I care about treatment successes, and it’s a real worry that the NHS only takes this stuff seriously when the effects are very serious.