Anxiety. Far more prevalent today? Overused term?

[Miljah]

I barely open any thread on MN now concerning an issue someone has where they haven't used the word 'anxiety'.

I think of anxiety being a (diagnosed) disproportionate fear reaction that overwhelms your life like the Generalised Anxiety Disorder described on the NHS website.

Of course, I know that more or less everyone has the odd moment of fear- it's a useful thing, adrenaline kicks in, your fight/flight reaction; that helps you overcome whatever it is that initiated your fear reaction.

But I suspect we are trivialising the medical condition of GAD, as described in the link, by chucking the term 'anxiety' around so freely.

I was just reading about a young adult, first year uni, who phoned her mum at 4.30am because she thought she could smell burning; mother found the number of the Halls security and mum called it herself. And it was duly sorted out.

But people who asked why the DD hadn't begun to deal with it locally herself was met with 'Oh, daughter has anxiety'.... is that anxiety or lack of gumption?

Are we infantalising our youngsters by excusing such behaviour by labelling it 'anxiety'?

Every single person in the world feels anxious at times. You would be odd if you didn't.

'Anxiety' is a disorder and people bandy the name about like OCD. It's annoying.

I like the word gumption. It’s under used these days.

OP, you’re right. It’s often not mentioned on threads until the poster isn’t getting the response they wanted and sling “but I have anxiety” in a couple of updates later as if that explains their whilst unreasonable behaviour. It does a disservice to people who have a diagnosed condition and battle on with day to day life not using it as a get out of jail card.

My anxiety disorder doesn't present in public

In public I am outgoing, bubbly, chatty, fearless.

I had to go back to bed today after the school run because the sheer amount of stuff on my to-do list overwhelmed me. I literally couldn't function, it stopped me dead.

If I tell people this, in real life, I just know they're thinking "oh, here we go again, let's jump on the bandwagon" because in public I function relatively well.

My 15 yo DD needs to be more resilient, according to her school pastoral worker (she's done a course with CAMHS so knows all about everything 🙄) and CAMHS wanted to fix DD with Well Being sessions. A formal complaint about being told "she just needs to help herself" was my final straw. Trying to convince a 15 yo that there is a reason to live, having to hide all medication and sharp knives in the house and having to keep her younger sibling away from her when she was in an uncontrollable rage (brought about by a panic attack that had led to her getting a detention...another complaint, upheld) and generally feeling like there is nobody wanting to help us.

But she's putting it on, just needs to be a bit more resilient.

Fuck every last person who thinks that. Fuck you all.

'I might have to talk to someone I don't know, someone I haven't had a chance to curate my response to'.

You can thank FB and Instagram for that.

@DobbinsVeil

But what exactly is that support?

Support? If she smells burning at 4.30am she needs to call 999 for the fire service. Are you saying a person of university going she needs support in dialing 999?

*age, not she

@salmonswimming it's the OP who said the young person should have a support package and I was curious to know what the package actually entailed. I'm none the wiser, perhaps direct your question to the OP

@TheJellyBabyMadeMeDoIt the OP is saying that others claiming anxiety is what takes away from your daughter. We all get a bit anxious about big events but get on with it. Anxiety disorders are then down played.

Where as your daughter clearly has an anxiety disorder that is causing true issues.

If people stopped bandying around the term anxiety like it was normal your daughter would be properly supported.

I hope she finds some really good support that helps her

@19STCM654
Thank you, she's currently in private therapy sessions and the change in her is phenomenal just because she finally feels listened to.

Dobbins any DD of mine with a diagnosed anxiety disorder of the magnitude that found her phoning me at 4.30am from her Halls because she could smell burning wouldn't be in Halls, away from home. She'd be getting her FE or HE while living where she would be supported. By me.

I get this such an episode might have been the first ever. The first ever panic attack. The first ever manifestation of an anxiety disorder that might lead to therapy or medication.

But the FB poster just chucked in, when challenged as to why her daughter's first, go-to response when challenged was to 'phone home'- said 'She has anxiety'.

I have suffered with generalised anxiety since a child. Basically my childhood was a tick box chart of everything shit that shouldn't happen. Unfortunately for me, (and others I'm sure) my problems growing up were compounded by unhelpful societal norms and expectations and racial prejudices. This meant that back in the days of no real mental health awareness, and no diagnosis of formal generalised anxiety I just suffered and internalised a message that I was abnormal. I was not like other people. My teens and twenties were excruciating. Constantly comparing myself to others who were confident, travelling the world etc. I would throw up before going to work. If I had to talk to anyone in authority I would clam up and feel sick. If someone seemed or said something negative I would feel sick and obsess over it. I couldn't deal with bills or normal life admin (still struggle). I truly suffered in silence. What was worse was that outwardly I was chatty, intelligent, well spoken, presentable etc., which meant people would still try and rope me into doing things that I would fail at because of my nerves. People would conclude I was lazy, selfish etc for not supporting something or them. I've lost friendships because of feeling anxious about visiting or opening up or even inviting them round.

I'm now in my forties and still struggle at stuff my teens have the confidence to do. When you truly have GED, anxiety almost becomes you. Sometimes you wake up feeling afraid simply because nothing is going wrong so you conclude something will and become anxious over it.

For that reason I have really tried hard to overcome myself and instill a sense of resilience in my children. I realise how disabling anxiety is.

I really resent the trend for people to claim they suffer generalised anxiety when what they really have is situational anxiety. Most people I know who really suffer don't like to mention it in public because they hate the feeling of being different, which adds to their anxiety!

I don't think its overused at all, I think in the past its been very misunderstood and still is. There are levels to it like all illnesses but where in the past symptoms were put down to other things they are now diagnosed correctly.

@STCM654, TheJellyBabyMadeMeDoIt post is saying she has the exact attitude in real life that the OP is sharing here. That they know better and it's just a lack of trying. Just like the PP who sits on PIP claims and believes only how they experienced anxiety is genuine.

And as for
If people stopped bandying around the term anxiety like it was normal your daughter would be properly supported.

Oh really. Because there was a huge stigma attached to my mum's first psychotic break in 1987. Some "friends" never spoke to her again. My mum's mum was in deep denial and wouldn't visit until she was out of hospital and apparently just pretended it hadn't happened.

I had anxiety during my University degree - I didn't get a diagnosis, at least partly because there was such a stigma. One BF did try to get me to see student support, but I avoided it. And a later one had me sit in his room to do my revision, as I had panic attacks (including hallucinations) when I was on my own.

My DC have anxiety to varying degrees. One had such anxiety that she physically couldn't sit her A'levels.

I do think education is far more toxic than in my day. Students didn't used to feel that their lives were over if they didn't get certain exam grades. At work I meet a lot of people who didn't get 5 GCSE equivalents, and a lot are very successful.

But also there used to be a lot of people taking tranquilizers, who "suffered with their nerves" etc. But it wasn't talked about openly, more just gossiped about.

That said I'm truly not sure that talking about it (or mental health) all the time at a societal level really truly does help or not. I think the jury is out on that one and I'm trying to be more stoic. I find weirdly that seems to help me more these days. Sort of intentionally bullshit your way forward.

STC thanks to you, and others- for clarifying that I 100% recognise CAD as a diagnosable condition, thus see the casual use of the term 'anxiety' to cover any 'situation I find challenging' (so cut me all the slack for my unwillingness to step up and adult...) which damages society's attitude to genuine CAD.

Step back and recognise that I am not attacking those of you with genuine CAD, who battle daily with it.

I genuinely don't get why anyone is, to paraphrase, saying to me 'You should try living with it'.... ?

I’ve literally just created a post about anxiety..I don’t have a diagnosis. I don’t know if it’s the correct term but Iv noticed the change and don’t feel like myself and I can’t pinpoint the change or the reason why.

I have anxiety. I think I pass your test for proper anxiety. I take 2 types of medication for or, I've had counselling, CBT and group therapy and it spoils my life quite a lot. The reposnses on here are so offensive. Because they imply that if a little bit of anxiety can be solved by pulling yourself together that people are in some way responsible for their own anxiety.

Students didn't used to feel that their lives were over if they didn't get certain exam grades.

How far back are we going? I left school 25 years ago and people certainly felt that way when I was at school. We were constantly told at school that we would have no hope of employment if we didn't get our exams and go to university.

These days there are foundation courses, NVQs, apprenticeships etc that weren't offered, or were much rarer, when I was at school. Surely when it comes to exams we've never had more options than we do now?

Miljah ok, but you specified a support package at university, I wouldn't consider managing it at home as that. Although I talk about my DCs and their dx a lot on MN, I rarely mention on FB. My nearest and dearest know, but someone I went to school with 30 years ago wouldn't.

If I shared an anecdote, such as DS3 sitting through lunch with the wrong child (same name as DS4 and a mix up) some would get why he didn't say anything until it was over. If someone not in the know challenged it, why would explaining be wrong?

My Dd started to say she had anxiety at about 15. She had lots of friends who also had it.
Each time I explained that she was anxious and that was fine as sh ehad worried about school, friends etc. But that it was not anxiety.
Now she is 17 and well able tell the difference and accept that its OK to sometimes be a bit anxious.
I agree it's overused.

Buildbuildings. Yes, a 'little bit of anxiety ' most definitely can be coped with, with a bit of gumption, pull yourself together, 'feel the fear but do it anyway', fake it til you make it, what would a grown-up do?- responses.

I would have assumed that 'exam-induced anxiety' means that the person has got so stressed over taking their exams that is spilled out into a general anxiety that's affecting their day-to-day life, rather than normal exam stress.

I currently have anxiety; I had a long period of lots of very stressful things going on my life and it seemed like my body has gone so used to being in this highly stressed state that it can't relax any more! I don't have panic attacks or feel like I'm dying or anything like that, but throughout the day I'll repeatedly have moments when it feels like I can't breathe properly, like my chest is being pushed down and my throat is closing in. It's really weird and doesn't seem to be set off by anything. I thought I had mild depression because I had the classic signs and was very surprised when I ended up with mixed depression/anxiety.

I only tell people about the depression though because some judgemental arseholes assume that people with anxiety are just making it up.

There aren't many apprenticeships really - I have spent time searching for my son. In fact a lot of "apprenticeships" are taken by older people - and quite often as a way of employers up-skilling certain employees.

Maybe the 1990s were a low point, but the drastic cuts in funding for adult education and the huge issues associated with part time education being funded similarly to full time - has actually resulted in far less opportunities for a lot of people to better themselves. When a module with the OU cost £300 or so it was easier for people to try and see if they could study that way, now it costs £4500 - it is far more money to risk.
A few years ago there were a lot of MOOCs which were free and enabled people to try out studying - now most of those charge fees - which again is off putting.

And the grade inflation is horrendous. The new grades mean that my Dd thought she did "okay" in MFL - however the grade she got was equivalent to an A - which in the 90s and before was the top grade.
And certainly before the late 90s you didn't have newspapers full of student celebrating almost perfect sets of top grades.

I am old so I remember when people got into medical school with the odd B, you only needed straight A's for Vet school. And as I say a lot of people I meet are very successful but have few qualifications.

Dobbins you seem weirdly determined to misunderstand me.

Imagine if your child was so affected with clinically diagnosable anxiety that they felt completely unable to articulate a school mix up about who sat next to whom, causing them enormous upset, a thing that would be a big deal to a child with clinically diagnosed anxiety.

Then imagine my child who was scared of a maths exam. Because maths exams can be scary. So I've cried 'Anxiety!'

Imagine the school was given x funds to supply support for 'anxiety', diagnosed and medicated- or not. Because that distinction is not being made. Imagine how you'd feel if my child receive half the cash ( crude term for support) - or more than half (of the support) than yours. Or all the cash. Because I had bandied around the term anxiety.

That's what I'm talking about, however much you are choosing to attempt to turn thus into (genuine, diagnosable) anxiety bashing.

Pick your fight.

It ain't with me.