Anxiety. Far more prevalent today? Overused term?

[Miljah]

I barely open any thread on MN now concerning an issue someone has where they haven't used the word 'anxiety'.

I think of anxiety being a (diagnosed) disproportionate fear reaction that overwhelms your life like the Generalised Anxiety Disorder described on the NHS website.

Of course, I know that more or less everyone has the odd moment of fear- it's a useful thing, adrenaline kicks in, your fight/flight reaction; that helps you overcome whatever it is that initiated your fear reaction.

But I suspect we are trivialising the medical condition of GAD, as described in the link, by chucking the term 'anxiety' around so freely.

I was just reading about a young adult, first year uni, who phoned her mum at 4.30am because she thought she could smell burning; mother found the number of the Halls security and mum called it herself. And it was duly sorted out.

But people who asked why the DD hadn't begun to deal with it locally herself was met with 'Oh, daughter has anxiety'.... is that anxiety or lack of gumption?

Are we infantalising our youngsters by excusing such behaviour by labelling it 'anxiety'?

I used to suffer with social anxiety disorder to the point that I couldn't tell you what the kitchen of my shared flat at university looked like because I never went in there. I was so paralysed with anxiety about having to speak to somebody that I didn't eat a hot meal, apart from when I visited my parents, for an entire academic year. Didn't have any friends, only went to a handful of lectures all year, ultimately dropped out...

I still get anxious about social situations now but that's the normal emotions of somebody who's awkward socially, not a medical condition.

It's hard to know where to draw the line though. I couldn't tell you the point where I went from somebody with an anxiety disorder to somebody who just gets a bit anxious at times.

differentcity Thanks. Did you undergo any therapy? Self- help or whatever else to get you from there to here?

And, though useless, my heart weeps for the youngster who has such social anxiety that they won't access their shared kitchen. Did you realise how 'bad' your condition was, at the time?

I actually hate the fact that the term is so overused these days. I DO have anxiety, and it affects me every single day of my life. I don't just mean I get nervous for things. I get nervous for EVERYTHING. I worry about 100 different scenarios for situations that might not (and indeed rarely do!) ever happen. I worry about myself/my partner getting various illnesses, I see signs of them when they're not there (and then worry about missing ACTUAL signs because I might just write them off as silly worries). I apologise all the time, and think my partner is going off me if he replies to texts differently, or says something in a different way.

Ironically, I honestly think the only way he WILL go off me is if I carry on like this.

I know I'm broken and a mess.

At the moment I manage to leave the house two evenings a week (I work from home earning a good wage) to attend a hobby, and most of the time I don't want to do that.. because there's a chance of X, Y, or Z happening.

So yeah, it annoys me when anxiety almost seems fashionable these days, and you see girls posting on their Insta that they have it, and then in the next breathe they're socialising every day, going to the gym, to music festivals, going out on dates and meeting new people.. okay so Insta isn't always reality, but I just know there's no way I could ever do any of those things.

Not the same thing I know, but I suffer from insomnia. It's been about 15 years since I have had more than 2 hours sleep in a night. Have tried everything from therapy, sleeping pills, hypnosis, CBT, accupuncture, but nothing has worked. It has affected everything in my life, from relationships to jobs, to my ability to drive.

In a similar way to the overuse of the term "having anxiety" it would drive me mad, if that particular term started being overused, i.e. "my insomnia meant that there was 2 nights about 6 months ago that I didn't sleep well", or "I had insomnia the night before my exam" etc. Whereas I know there are different levels of insomnia, some temporary, some situational or as a result of a trauma/experience, all equally as difficult as long term insomnia, it would be where it was being interchanged with "i had a bad night's sleep" that I would definitely have the issue. I'm glad it's not really the case with that particular term.

When I was in the grip of my worst period of anxiety I remember suggesting that my husband apply for a job that he was interested in. Before he had even completed the application form, my brain had convinced me that he would get offered the job then have to go to London for the initial training and his plane would crash on the way there, he'd die, I'd be widowed and our children would lose their father and in his dying moments all he would remember would be that I had encouraged him and therefore me uttering the sentence 'why don't you go for it!' had actually just changed the course of all our lives and the genie couldn't be put back in the bottle. I was utterly convinced that I had just killed my husband with words.

That's ten years ago and thankfully none of that happened (and he didn't get the job anyway) and I can now look back and laugh at how utterly irrational I was. But it was not even remotely funny at the time. I truly thought I was losing my mind.

Triplex what a new level of hell. I am not a great sleeper (too much Pinot Grigio helps, then hinders- menopausal me!) but yes, my DH will say he 'slept badly' when, having experienced every hour of his gentle snores, he put the light out at 10.30, and was awoken, instantly, springing forth, at 7am, having slept peacefully every hour, as I WAS AWAKE to witness, he tells me how awful it was....

No. Insomnia is a fresh hell. Which is why I'm embarking on Lalaland, now. With a uni visit tomorrow.

isabelle, yes, what you've described would be, for me, genuine, diagnosable, anxiety!

The example you give is not the individual's fault. There appears to have been a sharp increase in teenagers and young adults experiencing mental health issues. And anecdotally the anxiety is over things that my generation would not have worried about. I have friends whose teenager is so anxious they can't walk home a short distance alone. Or deal with "emergency" situations such as the ones you describe.

I think it's the result of the helicopter parenting everyone dies nowadays. Children do not get to be on their own to learn to problem solve without parents around to do all the solving for them, or to learn to take risks. They are constantly watched or accompanied by their parents. They haven't learnt to be independent so when they are on their own they panic. It's really sad that by trying to keep children safe we are actually doing them a disservice and detrimentally affecting their development.

Don't blame the individual. They are a product of their parenting.

Social media also has played in huge role in the poor mental health of teenagers. They are constantly on display, no let up from the relationship and traumas if school, and (one of the worst things got mental health) constantly comparing themselves to others perfect lives and appearance.

Mimimum I am not blaming the kids.

But, are they really experiencing mental health issues? Or being encouraged to identify what they think/feel as being 'mental health' issues? Rather than part of growing up?

But the girl could indeed have anxiety

I would also like to add that the OP (and a number of other posters) do not know what they is talking about.

It is perfectly possible to suffer fr in anxiety and appear completely normal and appear to be managing life and a job.

I have had depression and anxiety along with BDD my entire life on and off. At one point my BDD was consuming every waking thought and I had constant very high anxiety levels. I still managed to hold down a full time job and get my DS to school. A lot of people, unless they knew me well, would never have known. And no one at all knew the true extent of it.

I think it is unhelpful and frankly not very nice to be going around deciding who you think in anxious enough to be able to use the word "anxiety". Unless you know a person extremely well, it would do you well to assume you don't know and hold your judgement. Because you don't know.

And the assumption that support would magically appear if you advise an educational establish if a diagnosis is laughable and shows you have absolutely no understanding of how this works in the real world.

Rosegold clinical or self diagnosed anxiety?

The very crux of my OP.

I would imagine a genuine sufferer of anxiety doesn’t need a doctors certificate to tell them so

Does it matter? Is someone not allowed to say it's anxiety unless they have seen a mental health professional and they've ok'd it?

Frankly I think you are encouraging mental health stigma by these sorts of posts and that's still bad enough as it is, without you promoting the "oh just pull your socks up" and get on with it brigade. Ffs I thought everyone realise that you can't just do that and make all the feelings of anxiety or depression go away.

My DH is very good at pulling his socks up and getting on, yet he suffers from horrendous anxiety because he has always suppressed his feelings and never processed them. He's trying to undo years and years of this now and it's slow going.

So even if these feelings are just "normal" and not meeting your personal definition of a mental health problem. Pulling up your socks and getting on is not a healthy way to deal with them anyway.

So either way you are wrong and you sound like you have very poor EQ.

And yes in my experience there are more young people experiencing mental health issues such as anxiety than when I was younger.

But wouldn't a 'genuine sufferer of anxiety' be mightily pissed off at how debased the term has become ?? Really?

Read the responses. We have seen many 🙄at sixth formers, partying, festival going sixth formers who couldn't possibly sit A level exams with other people; teachers unable to differentiate between the genuine and the 'make allowances for my child' parents.

The article you link says
Who is affected?
GAD is a common condition estimated to affect about 1 in every 25 people in the UK.
Slightly more women are affected than men, and the condition is more common in people between the ages of 35 and 55.

So yes apparently it is a common condition and yesyou would expect it to be more prevalent amongst the MN demographic.

Yes, it matters.

18 year olds who need to call their mum at 4.30am because they smell burning in their Halls of Residence, due to their 'anxiety', rather than call Security or 999 need to either not be in halls, or more resilient.

Brokengirl I'd like to be condescending, if not rude towards your first contribution to this thread, involving a biscuit emoticon.

However, I will ask you to explain yourself.

I will ask you to describe to, not just me, but to everyone else who has debated this over several hours, what your 'biscuit' means.

Do you think that the term 'anxiety' is over used?

Do you think that, if It is overused, it risks debasing clinically diagnosable anxiety?

Do you consider yourself to be 'anxious'?

It would be amazing if you can get back to us with more than a couple of emoticons.

I apologise all the time, and think my partner is going off me if he replies to texts differently, or says something in a different way.

I can soo relate to this. Just the constant over vigilance and over assessing of a lover's thoughts and intentions. Why did they not look so unhappy this morning?...was it something I said/did last night? Oh god...I bet he's upset now, why is he frowning after I gave him his coffee? Maybe I've put too much milk in again. cue me apologising and asking if he wants another one...no he says it's fine...ok but clearly its not fine really, he's lying...why did he finish his text so matter of factly? Is he annoyed with me about something? Why did he word his response that way? etc etc etc. Sheer bloody hell.

I tend to believe people when they say they have anxiety. Anxiety is not a badge of honour, there is still a lot of shame attatched to it ime. I admitted to a someone at work I had it and the difference in their attitude towards me was palpable. I wish I had never admitted it because I then felt even more anxiety around interacting with them. I'm not talking a worry or a concern, i mean my heart was racing all night and being unable to sleep. I wasnt using anxiety to get out of any scary tasks or to garner sympathy, i had/have got an anxiety disorder that has plagued my life since age 12. I think people feel because there has been a lot of effort in recent years to recognise mental health to be just as debilitating as other, physical illnesses people finally are open to admit they are suffering. Apparently society can accept it as a real issue nowadays and there may even be support in the workplace etc.
It is so glaringly obvious when people dont believe you.
I'm a bit saddened by this thread tbh.

Anxiety is horrible so I believe people who say they have it.

I've never been diagnosed or medicated but it still plays a big part in my life. I'm an adult with a professional job that I'm experienced in but will get gut clenching fear over doing simple things like making phone calls.

I've had it since I was a child. If I had to go to a party or event I'd get so nervous about it I would vomit.

I'm overweight as I tend to cope by sticking food or wine down my face, I sometimes wonder if I should get medication but I'm too anxious to go to the doctors

I think this is a very interesting topic to talk about and I also think that people assess others based on their own experiences.
I have (so far) been fortunate not to have suffered from any mental health difficulties in my life. However I went through some challenging times earlier this year. In the space of a month I was diagnosed with a physical health condition, lost a work contract to the tune of £6000 (that was confirmed and due to make a chunk of my annual salary) and had three bereavements - two of them very close family members.

Understandably, things were hard and there were times that I reached out a bit to friends asking for a chat or just telling them I was feeling a bit isolated. One of my friends completely shut down on me. Literally stopped talking to me and ignored my messages.
Last week I called (she didn't answer) and then sent her a message asking if we could talk as I wanted to sort it out.
She sent me the LONGEST message telling me that she had disengaged with me because she was seriously worried about my mental health, that she thought I was struggling and needed medical intervention and that she didn't see how I would recover. She had disengaged rather than spoken to me because she was worried about the effect that I would have on her own mental health.

I was mightily taken aback. She was completely judging me on her own experiences (as someone with GAD and potentially bipolar disorder) and had interpreted the handful of text messages I had sent her when I was sad, as me being mentally unwell.

I had to explain to her that I was simply grieving and also worried (financially and health wise) and that my responses were just in the normal range of human emotions and responses.

She still doesn't get it. She's convinced I need help, but I think that's because she's projecting what her own responses feel like, into my situation.

For the record I am well again and I've sorted out my salary 💪

The point being that if someone IS suffering from anxiety or another condition, they might find it very difficult to understand that other people are not and don't get impacted in the same way. And so the cycle perpetuates and the words are thrown around with abandon!