Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

a daughter really big for her age

235 replies

HAPPYMOM363 · 09/10/2019 12:22

She is only 11 and 176cm and 84kg. I am only 155cm and 45kg. It looks really oddSmile She plays basketball and netball and does really well.

It's impossible to find age appropriate cloths.

She used to hate being this big but now she loves it. Would she stop growing or grow up a few more inches??Grin

OP posts:
MustardScreams · 10/10/2019 07:30

If she’s gained over 2 stone in less than a year I’d be querying this with a dr ASAP. That amount of weigh gain isn’t healthy or normal. A small amount of weight prior to a growth spurt is fine, but even before the 2 stone she was 11 stone.

You really do need to get in touch with your GP.

DelurkingAJ · 10/10/2019 07:57

I was 5’8”ish at 11 and finished at 5’10” so whilst I’m tall I’m not extremely tall by any means. Weight...I’m 75kgs as a 39 year old mother of 2 and I’d prefer to be 70kgs but accept that would require exercise. Be careful how you approach any weight loss...I have a friend who was a heavier teen and she’s been left with self esteem issues because her DM had her on a permanent diet.

Brittany2019 · 10/10/2019 08:00

I’d get her checked out, Op. That’s a lot of weight to gain in a year. As a comparison, I’m 180cm and 72kg, which is neither fat nor thin on me.

Fozzleyplum · 10/10/2019 08:02

I stand to be corrected about this, but isn't it the case that overweight children, particularly girls, often have early growth spurts and early puberty because of raised fat levels? Your DD might be unusually tall because of this.

Original poster
HAPPYMOM363 · 10/10/2019 08:10

So, I think I need to take her to a doctor.

OP posts:
LenoVintura · 10/10/2019 08:17

I'm surprised that anyone would think that 89kg on an 11 yr old girl is anything other than concerning. That's very very heavy, regardless of what you may believe about the accuracy of BMI. She's tall for 11, but not ultimately exceptionally tall. Surely when you look at her you must see that she's overweight? She weighs more than many grown men Hmm.

picklemepopcorn · 10/10/2019 08:17

Does she look soft and pudgy? Or big and strong?

I'm not convinced people who haven't seen her are the best judges.

Is there a school nurse that you can see in a more everyday way?

RoseyOldCrow · 10/10/2019 08:19

Please don't panic her or allow her to become upset.
I was a tall girl from around 10 & was teased & bullied mercilessly, it ruined my self confidence & destroyed any positive body image that I may have ever clawed back.
I'm still one of the tallest women I know, at 6ft, but am ok with that.

There are many medical reasons for rapid growth & I'd suggest keeping a close eye on her in case of pain, especially her spine (my issue) or knees (a friend's experience). Note that these are unlikely though.

You may want to discuss her weight & height with your GP, but I'd suggest not taking her with you initially as this in itself could be distressing - if someone tells her she has a problem, she won't feel good at all.

I know I've concentrated on emotions & psychology here but I can promise you from experience that they are not unimportant!

Magicmama92 · 10/10/2019 08:20

You know if your daughter looks overweight or not. If she looks fine I wouldnt bring up weight with her I have severe self image issues from my family when I was a fine weight. If you are worries about her growth maybe discuss it with a gp before going in you dont want to take her in and make her think somethings wronf with her just becouse shes tall.

Loopydizzylove · 10/10/2019 08:28

Honestly I think that bmi for tall children is bs. It doesn't take in muscle mass, which is actually heavier. As long as her diet is healthy and varied I don't see an issue with weight tbh. I have a family member who at 14 is 6 foot 3, and according to his bmi he is overweight, but he is anything but.

Original poster
HAPPYMOM363 · 10/10/2019 08:37

She actually looks big and strong. People think that she weighs around 70kg when they see her first.Grin

OP posts:
ReggaetonLente · 10/10/2019 08:43

I am 176cm at 28 years old Grin and am definitely overweight at 84kg.

I love being tall, i reached my full height at 12 and can give you loads of advice on that. But i am happy, healthy and curvy at around 70kg and while i know everyone is different, i'm quite shocked at an 84kg child.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 10/10/2019 09:57

I'm the same height and 13 stone is overweight for that height

HavelockVetinari · 10/10/2019 10:02

That is very, very heavy, especially for an 11 year old. You need to take control of her diet before the teenage years, this is on you as a parent.

Reallybadidea · 10/10/2019 10:14

Honestly I think that bmi for tall children is bs.

So are you saying that this country doesn't have a child obesity problem, we are measuring them wrong? How do you explain that average BMI in children has increased massively in the past 30/40 years? It doesn't seem likely that it's due to increasing muscle mass in children because activity levels have plummeted. Maybe children are getting really muscley thumbs from using phones and games consoles and that's why BMI has increased?

ReggaetonLente · 10/10/2019 10:20

In fact i was 85kg when i gave birth to my 4kg DD!

BlueCornsihPixie · 10/10/2019 10:20

OP she's 17kg overweight. That's verging on 3st. It's good that she's sporty and fit, but there's no way she has 3st of additional muscle at 11.

People who are very muscley will weigh more, however people who are very muscley also tend to have less fat because they will be people who are very sporty, and a higher metabolism because of the amount of muscle. People who are in the obese category because of muscle alone are people like rugby players, or weight lifters, not dancing children. An 11 year old is very unlikely to have 2-3st of excess muscle, it's just not feasible on a child.

She does need to lose weight, but you can't just approach it by telling her she needs to lose weight. That's going to cause more damage. Realistically an 11 yr old doing as much exercise as her should be able to lose weight easily. You don't have to put her on any obvious diet, just healthier meals.

What's her eating like day to day?

happytoday73 · 10/10/2019 10:31

I reached full height at 11 too 5ft 9 but was 10st 3 and looked very very thin for my build. However I am concerned at her weight even allowing for being a heavy build (I am too) and muscular at that age. She needs to be under 12 stone really. I'd be concerned at her age.....

Original poster
HAPPYMOM363 · 10/10/2019 10:41

I talked with her before about the weight and she simply denied and said that she is fit and told me to talk with her school coaches. I talked with the school coaches and they said she is absolutely fit and in fact fit, fast and skilled enough to play in U-15 team of her school.

Now, I have talked with her again about her weight and in response, she just performed two somersault Shock. Then she said,"Do this first and then say me to try to lose weight"

I am actually shocked at her words.

OP posts:
Teddybear45 · 10/10/2019 10:41

I am 5, 7 and weighed 84kg at my fittest - was a size 10, muscular due to climbing, and had a six pack. So yes I can believe she is fit and healthy especially if she’s playing a lot of basketball. I suggest going to Swedish / Scandi brands for her clothing as they tend to have a teen option which is between adult women and kids in terms of style but fit-wise is approx size 0-10 in womenswear.

Ozziewozzie · 10/10/2019 10:43

I’m just under 6ft. I reached this height by 13 and not grown since.

10brokengreenbottles · 10/10/2019 10:48

Take her to see the GP.

176cm at 11 on the growth chart is above the line which says she would normally be under specialist care, even if she is completing puberty and nearly 12.

84kg is way above the top line on the growth chart for an 11 year old, and again would normally warrant specialist review.

They give a BMI of 27.1. For an 11 year old, even if she is nearly 12), that is above the very overweight (obese) line.

This link is to the close monitoring versions of the normal growth charts which have extra lines.

You can be fit but overweight.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 10/10/2019 10:51

She sounds great and confident in her body and her skills.
If she's fit, active and strong, I'd say don't stress over the numbers on a scale. Build her up, don't knock her down. She's probably way healthier than many girls in her school.

In fact, I'd say can you find a local rowing club? That's Olympic potential right there! www.britishrowing.org/gb-rowing-team/rowing-for-gb/world-class-start/

BlueCornsihPixie · 10/10/2019 10:54

Stop talking to her about her weight ffs! Obviously she's going to deny she's 11, she shouldn't be the one concerned about her weight or thinking she's overweight. That's you.

It's your responsibility not hers. You should be looking at what's she's eating, making healthy changes not telling her to go on a diet. She's your child

PinkDaffodil2 · 10/10/2019 10:59

I’m sure she is fit - and will be awesome at basketball and netball given her height - however she is seriously overweight for her age, way beyond what could be explained by muscle mass, and her height an fitness will do very little to mitigate the health impact of being so large. She probably should be under secondary care or at least GP / dietician as it’s almost certain that without intervention she’ll continue to gain weight and face a whole host of weight problems.
Sorry to put a downer on you, and please try to raise it in a positive, light way to her as it’s awesome that she has confidence in herself, but at this rate you’ll be making horribly difficult decisions about bariatric surgery while she is still a child if something doesn’t change.