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Original poster

When life just kicks you down over and over.

133 replies

mamasma · 30/09/2019 09:22

Before we start iv been here years under a couple different names...naice ham,cancel the cheque,penis beaker.

I just need a rant,I need someone to tell me it's going to be fine,I just need someone to give me a handhold today,I have no one in "RL"now.

Here I am one week post surgery,struggling but getting there,Holding it together for my DD (5) in a lot of pain but pushing through.

Then DH walks out,Saturday he just walks out and leaves us he can't cope with my health issues(they are extensive but I am very very independent and do everything myself).Yesterday was in survival mode,got through the day was so proud of myself and today iv woke up so deflated.

He's left me with nothing,a house with no food,gas,electric.Im sitting here crying because I don't know what I'm going to give DD for dinner after school I just feel like I can't take anymore.

Please nobody start I don't want handouts etc I just want someone to tell me what I'm supposed to do to get through this day?because I'm all out of ideas.Ideas/suggestions for where I go from here please anybody.

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 30/09/2019 09:27

Oh bless your heart, what an awful situation to be in Flowers. Call your GP and get seen, today. They can issue you with a voucher for a food bank (so can your Health Visitor).

flamingjune123 · 30/09/2019 09:35

I guess a lot depends on whether your finances are joined. And are you in receipt of benefits for your health? If so I assume this goes directly into your account?
Please don't panic. Phone anyone who will bung you twenty quid into your account or ask someone to bring your round some essentials and put a tenner on the gas and electric.

raspberryk · 30/09/2019 09:40

If you have online banking for the joint account you can set yourself up a new current account online and then transfer some money over if it's a money thing...
Can I ask why there's no food at all in the house and no gas and electric? What did you do before your H walked out?

Original poster
mamasma · 30/09/2019 09:41

Unfortunately we have a joint account and unfortunately My pip goes in there,this has clearly been planned as he left with the card and I can't get access online.

I don't have any friends or family here,I have no "RL" advice or even any idea how to even contact a food bank which I'm in great need of today.Can anything else go wrong?i feel like the worst mother alive as luckily my DD gets free school dinners so because I didn't even have the ingredients to make her a ham sanwhich she's going for school dinners today-but there's nothing on the menu she likes-so she's going to be hungry either way.

This time last Monday I was resting on the sofa whilst "D"H went food shopping and everything,now here I am..all within one week.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamasma · 30/09/2019 09:42

We live month by month,so every Monday we do our food shopping and top up or meters,but obviously today that never happened.

OP posts:
AnneKipanki · 30/09/2019 09:42

Are you able to get out of the house at all ?

AnneKipanki · 30/09/2019 09:43

Is there only one card for the account ?

Daffodil2018 · 30/09/2019 09:43

Just take it one day at a time OP. Things will get better but there's no point worrying about the long term future at the moment, just concentrate on the basics. Food, gas/electric. Try to get through today as best you can. You can do it.

Original poster
mamasma · 30/09/2019 09:44

I have no choice but to get out the house to do the school run now,I still have 14 clips in my wound but it is nowhere near as sore as last week.

OP posts:
AnneKipanki · 30/09/2019 09:45

DO you have a note of the card number and 3 digit security code ? ... online shop ?

Original poster
mamasma · 30/09/2019 09:47

I had the card details saved on my Asda app so yesterday I done a shop to get delivered today,i just got an email around 1 hour ago saying my orders cancelled due to declined by the bank!

OP posts:
AnneKipanki · 30/09/2019 09:47

You do not want to compromise your healing . The last thing you need is another hospital stay .
GP surgery sounds like a good idea.

00Sassy · 30/09/2019 09:47

Can you call and stop the PIP payments going into that account?

Original poster
mamasma · 30/09/2019 09:49

I'm on hold to pip now to get my payments changed to my original bank,I'm going to send the Macmillan nurse who deals with me an email and see if she knows of any help available.

OP posts:
nancy75 · 30/09/2019 09:50

Where has he gone? You need to get in touch with him & tell him he can’t leave his child to starve, call the bank & sort access to money and a new account & call the benefits people to tell them to pay money into new account.

Original poster
mamasma · 30/09/2019 09:59

Iv tried,I can't get in touch with him.Iv sent a text to his friend to tell him the situation to see if he can sort him out for our DD sake

OP posts:
nancy75 · 30/09/2019 10:00

Does he work?

Original poster
mamasma · 30/09/2019 10:08

Yes he is a taxi driver

OP posts:
ChicCroissant · 30/09/2019 10:08

Does your DD's school have a pastoral worker? If so, ring them as they should be able to point you towards any service that can help you quickly.

Original poster
mamasma · 30/09/2019 10:10

I'm not sure I haven't heard before but I will give them a call to ask.Thanks for all the advice it's helping better than me crying and feeling sorry for myself

OP posts:
nancy75 · 30/09/2019 10:12

Call his work, tell them family emergency & you can’t get in touch with him. Let him know you are going to keep calling his work until he gets in touch

nancy75 · 30/09/2019 10:13

Also ring child benefit people to get payment changed

Original poster
mamasma · 30/09/2019 10:15

Iv just checked and child benefit is due next Tuesday so luckily not to long to make ends meet I just need to get that changed too.I don't understand how someone can turn like this he was such a loving husband before

OP posts:
nancy75 · 30/09/2019 10:19

Phone your bank, cancel the card & get them to send a new one to your address. Most banks issue a new card in about 3 days

flamingjune123 · 30/09/2019 12:15

I'd agree cancelling the bank card. Also speak to the bank and explain what's happened. You have sole rights to your PIP, it's for your extra care needs, not for him to spend as he wishes.

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