When life just kicks you down over and over.

[mamasma]

Before we start iv been here years under a couple different names...naice ham,cancel the cheque,penis beaker.

I just need a rant,I need someone to tell me it's going to be fine,I just need someone to give me a handhold today,I have no one in "RL"now.

Here I am one week post surgery,struggling but getting there,Holding it together for my DD (5) in a lot of pain but pushing through.

Then DH walks out,Saturday he just walks out and leaves us he can't cope with my health issues(they are extensive but I am very very independent and do everything myself).Yesterday was in survival mode,got through the day was so proud of myself and today iv woke up so deflated.

He's left me with nothing,a house with no food,gas,electric.Im sitting here crying because I don't know what I'm going to give DD for dinner after school I just feel like I can't take anymore.

Please nobody start I don't want handouts etc I just want someone to tell me what I'm supposed to do to get through this day?because I'm all out of ideas.Ideas/suggestions for where I go from here please anybody.

Do you have online banking, you could freeze the card or open an online account and transfer money over?

Depending on your bank, you can get some cash out without your card. For example, I know Natwest have a thing where they can text you a code to use at a cash point

Your GP and maybe the school can get you food bank vouchers. If there is a church nearby, speak to the vicar, they may have supplies. If there is a Gurdwara (Sikh temple) near you, they feed a meal to anyone who visits the temple without any requirement to pray or anything.

An emergency GP appointment will get you food bank vouchers. Long term, I hope things improve for you.

Can you phone social services? You've no food or heating, in limited manner to get about to appointments or energy to phone people up etc? They can point you to the most helpful services asap to give you a lift as you start your new journey.

You're going to be so much better iff without him although it wont feel like that yet

Phone your bank and check the balance. Redo the ASDA shop to that value. Cancel the card with the bank and get a new one sent to your house. Ask gas/ electric company for an emergency interim credit.

I have been on the phone to the Macmillan nurse and she's contacted the local council to ask for a welfare fund thing for me?shes going to contact everyone on my behalf because this has actually killed me today.

Child benefit is really simple to change. You can do that online now. Also contact the council and let them know he's moved out, you can get a single person discount, plus if you're on Universal Credit you can get your council tax paid, plus childcare.
Is there a Homestart in your area? Or a functioning children's centre? Call anyone like that you can find on Google and they might be able to send you a volunteer to help out a bit or recommend an organisation which can help. Try calling your local church, too. They often have volunteers and contingency funds for parishioners, even if you don;t attend church.

Good luck. Not the same situation as you by any means, but my 'D'H cleared off 3 weeks ago so I have definite fellow feeling and have experienced some of the panic and 'oh fuck' you're describing.

Go to your nearest bank branch and get a new card. Bring ID! If it's a joint account like you say, you'll be able to access it. Bank can give you emergency cash too while waiting for a card.

Next, go to the council and get yourself on any other benefits you're now entitled to as a single parent on PIP (housing benefit?). Council may also give emergency loan to top up gas and electric.

Contact CMS, your ex will need to start paying support.

Local food bank today if you're absolutely desperate. No shame in this! It's not forever and a girls' gotta eat!! The food bank staff will treat you with dignity and kindness.

You will be ok!!

Hi mamasma,

We're so sorry that you're going through such a difficult time.

As we usually do in these circumstances, we're just putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

While we have no reason to doubt the OP (who's been on the site for a fair while) we at MNHQ can't ever know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind people not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. We strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, mamasma. We can see you're getting some really good advice and support here already. You might also find some useful information in our guide for dealing with financial difficulty - you'll find links to organisations that can offer you some support in real life.

Sending good wishes from all at MNHQ

Thankyou for all the replies,the crisis grant people just phoned and I got turned down for an award obviously no food,gas and electric isn't a crisis these days.

Iv got a food bank referral but won't be until tomorrow now,the blows just keep on coming!

Whereabouts are you OP? Maybe someone reading this who lives locally can pop round with some groceries to tide you over.

Thanks Mumsnet I understand iv seen these threads before,I'm only after advice nothing else.

I'm east on Scotland

East of Scotland rather

Please speak to someone at your DC school at pick up

I have just collected DD,she didn't have lunch because she didn't like any of it just as I thought!i feel like the worst what can I do right now

Ring your gas an electric provider, they'll stick some money on your meters. Obviously you'll have to pay it back in bits but it'll get you through.

Have you got any nectar points or Clubcard vouchers etc? Put stuff on Facebook market place as well as gumtree perhaps?

The only thing I have I can sell is a bedroom tv,I can't believe I'm at this point

Get back on to the crisis Grant people and appeal.

www.stepchange.org/debt-info/emergency-funding.aspx

What an absolute shit your 'DH' is!

Can you call a friend or relative? Now is not the time to be proud.

Call your energy provider and they can put some emergency credit on the meter.

What did school say? - you need to tell them what's going on.

can you ask your neighbour to give you some basic ingredients to make a meal and you can return it when you can? I am so sorry OP.

your "DH" obviously does not care about you or his daughter, you can have my very first LTB.
can you sell any of his belongings?

The tv is his everything else he has taken,would if made plenty if he had left it all behind!thanks all for keeping my spirits up