Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Unplanned - Abortion Film **Trigger Warning** Title edited by MNHQ sensitive content*

999 replies

Mum2386 · 20/09/2019 10:33

Hi,
Last night I watched a film called Unplanned, which is based on a true story of a lady working within an abortion clinic called ‘Planned Parenthood’. The film itself brought me to tears on many occasions and it’s made me feel very uncomfortable surrounding abortion. I had an unplanned pregnancy with my third child but knew abortion wasn’t an option for me. I am quite shocked by the amount of abortions that still take place within our society. Does anyone else feel this way? I know we all have different views but i just wondered what other people’s thoughts were on this very sensitive topic.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Original poster
Mum2386 · 20/09/2019 13:31

Why is everyone assuming that I’m an anti-abortionist, it’s quite alarming that because I said it doesn’t sit comfortable with me and gave my reasons why, that people are assuming I don’t think women should have the choice. I was raising some of the issues around abortion. I am not shaming anyone, or their decisions that they made themselves. This was prompted through watching a film (I watched it out of curiosity more than anything else) and various articles I have read, it’s not something I ever gave much thought to previously and that’s why I asked what people’s thoughts were. As I stated I’ve had an unplanned pregnancy and it was hard and it didn’t come at the right time but we made it work for our family, I know this is not always an option for all.

OP posts:
Saucery · 20/09/2019 13:35

@ThatFlamingCandle entirely your choice for the person you were at the time, in the circumstances you were in.
Our responsibility as a society is to provide all women and girls with all the facts, options and opportunities to manage their fertility exactly as they wish. Not as I wish, or prefer, not as some man with a placard with disgusting emotive imagery on it would wish, not as someone who chooses to watch a video of a medical procedure and finds it a difficult watch Hmm would wish. As that woman or girl wants to use those resources, without having a moral judgement made about her.

Sagradafamiliar · 20/09/2019 13:35

It's no use acting wide-eyed now, OP. You've been schooled.

Saucery · 20/09/2019 13:38

@Mum2386 you watched a film about a medical procedure and found it tough to watch. What relevance has that to why that medical procedure was being done?
I can’t watch OBEM but I don’t go round saying women need to think very carefully about whether they want to do that Giving Birth thing.

FrancisCrawford · 20/09/2019 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mum2386 · 20/09/2019 13:40

I am not acting wide eyed. I gave my opinion that I couldn’t have an abortion and my reasons surrounding it and it made me feel uncomfortable, I didn’t say all women should stop having abortions immediately, did I! The other things I mentioned were part of the problem with rates of abortions. As I said we can’t all assume they are all contraceptive failures, it is lack of contraceptive in some cases. So I stand by my point!

OP posts:
Saucery · 20/09/2019 13:43

Your point being that some women have sex without contraception so they should have to give birth? Are their clusters of cells the only ones with this spurious heartbeat thing? Because feckless.

Original poster
Mum2386 · 20/09/2019 13:45

Francis - That’s because not all women have abortions when it’s an embryo, not all women have abortions during the first 8 weeks.
The taking responsibility of your birth control is a crucial statement to make because it’s the reason abortion exists, apart from those situations where contraception has failed.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 20/09/2019 13:47

Like many others, my bottom line for being pro choice is that criminalising abortion doesn’t stop it. If laws came in to ban it, women would still find ways to stop their unwanted pregnancies - just as they did for centuries before it was legalised here, and just as women do now in countries across the world where abortion is still illegal. They’ll either travel to a country where it is legal if they can, or if not they will resort to home methods or back street clinics. These DIY terminations, as they’re unregulated, can injure, maul or even kill these women. And they will still go through with it if desperate enough, we know that to be true.

So I’d rather those seeking an abortion were respected enough to be allowed to make their own decisions, and are able to access safe, legal and medically supervised terminations.

Original poster
Mum2386 · 20/09/2019 13:47

Saucery - Because ifyou don’t use contraception, then you are planning for a baby.

OP posts:
Saucery · 20/09/2019 13:47

How about men take responsibility for a bit, eh? How is all that research into an effective male contraceptive pill/implant going?

Span1elsRock · 20/09/2019 13:51

I do remember a Pro life group showing us a really disturbing video when I was in the 6th form at school and it really really messed with my head, tbh for a long time afterwards. I can only hope that schools would take a more considered approach these days.

I think all women should have a choice. Just because it wouldn't be mine doesn't make it irrelevant to everyone else. Women are losing enough these days thanks to the wave of men thinking their rights to be called women top those of actual women................

Saucery · 20/09/2019 13:51

Maybe, maybe not @Mum2386. Might be the last thing on your mind. Or you could be being raped, coerced or tricked.
Could even change your mind afterwards, which is absolutely fine if you are in a country where safe, legal abortion is available, despite the best efforts of the old fashioned anti-abortionists.

BertrandRussell · 20/09/2019 13:52

I wouldn’t have an abortion either. This has absolutely no impact on the fact that I think one should be available to me and to other women should the need arise. Don’t want an abortion? Don’t have one. But keep your opinions out of other women’s choices.

Original poster
Mum2386 · 20/09/2019 13:54

Saucery - I said that as a whole men and women.

OP posts:
Nat6999 · 20/09/2019 13:54

One of the reasons the abortion rate in this country is high is the fact that it is now virtually impossible for a woman to get to be sterilised, the NHS will do anything to avoid doing it, women have to have used every kind of contraceptive before they are taken seriously. A man asking for a vasectomy doesn't have half the hoops to jump through. Just another one of the ways sex equality in this country fails. Abortion should be available to any woman requesting it as early as possible but as late as necessary.

Saucery · 20/09/2019 13:57

Yes, so how is the research into a safe, effective Male contraceptive pill/implant going? Hmm
Easier to churn out emotive videos about the Horror That Is Abortion I suppose. If you can’t frighten the slags into keeping their knickers on they deserve all they get, right?

For the hard of comprehension, the last sentence is hyperbole and not representative of my views.

Soubriquet · 20/09/2019 14:00

What a crock of shit

That movie is so clear “pro life”

It isn’t pro life it’s forced birth

BertrandRussell · 20/09/2019 14:00

And men can have a say in whether women have abortions. when they get pregnant and have babies. Not before. That may turn out to be tough in some of them-but that’s how it goes.

Newbie1981 · 20/09/2019 14:03

I'm against abortion and always feel scared to say that, I shouldn't as I deserve an opinion, especially since I've had miscarriages! I am also adopted so understand more than most that there are other options available, and am so bloody happy I wasn't aborted!!

BoycottBoycott · 20/09/2019 14:06

If people genuinely wanted to reduce the number of abortions they would be fighting tooth and nail for better sex education, greater access to free contraception, free medical treatment for pregnant women and meaningful financial and social help for women who give birth and want to keep their children.

IME though the vast majority of pro lifers support none of these. In the US many pro lifers vehemently oppose sex ed and contraception and stigmatise unmarried mothers. They are not “pro life”. Rather they are “pro adoption” And their main interest is to guarantee the supply of healthy infants available for adoption by childless religious couples. Just like Irish Catholics until a few years ago.

BertrandRussell · 20/09/2019 14:07

Of course you can have an opinion. You might have to defend it though if you think your opinion should affect other women’s choices.

enjoyingscience · 20/09/2019 14:07

Your experiences don’t mean you get a say in another woman’s choices, sorry.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 20/09/2019 14:11

OP what is the point of this thread? If you CHOOSE not to have an abortion but respect the right of others to do so then you are pro choice. The many and varied reasons why women have abortions is none of your business.

Rubicon80 · 20/09/2019 14:13

@FrancisCrawford @Shmithecat2 Thanks both very much for your kind wishes. I'm doing OK.

@Mum2386 you are repeatedly ignoring my question. I'll repost it here. I will keep reposting it until you answer.

You say you 'struggle with' the idea of termination because the embryo has a heartbeat.

I had a miscarriage last month. I was around 8 weeks pregnant but the embryo was not developing properly so it was more like a 5-6 week pregnancy.

That embryo had a heartbeat - we saw it on several scans. I passed the pregnancy into the toilet and didn't even notice. It was that small.

Are you suggesting that because it had had a heartbeat, I was flushing a dead baby down the loo?

I'd like you to give me a yes or no answer on whether or not I flushed my dead baby down the loo. Thanks.

Swipe left for the next trending thread