Unplanned - Abortion Film **Trigger Warning** Title edited by MNHQ sensitive content*

[Mum2386]

Hi,
Last night I watched a film called Unplanned, which is based on a true story of a lady working within an abortion clinic called ‘Planned Parenthood’. The film itself brought me to tears on many occasions and it’s made me feel very uncomfortable surrounding abortion. I had an unplanned pregnancy with my third child but knew abortion wasn’t an option for me. I am quite shocked by the amount of abortions that still take place within our society. Does anyone else feel this way? I know we all have different views but i just wondered what other people’s thoughts were on this very sensitive topic.

These films are propaganda by anti abortion groups in America where the anti abortion protest is unfortunately winning & abortion is outlawed in many states. Do we really want to turn this country back 60 years to the days of backstreet abortions & women dying? Abortion is safe & well regulated, for most women it is a last resort & not a lifestyle choice.

@Grimbles Yes, you were too subtle! You must know that tone gets lost online. Better to just say what you mean

@GlitchStitch I did wonder... But there was no punchline so I came down on the side of it being genuine.

@Mum2386 OP I have asked you three times now to answer my question.

I chose to share my very recent, raw and upsetting experience of miscarriage on this thread in order to ask you about your stance on abortion.

It is not greatly enjoyable for me to keep sharing the intimate and slightly gory details; however, I will keep doing so until you answer my question.

Why are you ignoring it?

In case you missed the previous three posts, here it is again. And I'll keep on posting it until you answer, hun.

You say you 'struggle with' the idea of termination because the embryo has a heartbeat.

I had a miscarriage last month. I was around 8 weeks pregnant but the embryo was not developing properly so it was more like a 5-6 week pregnancy.

That embryo had a heartbeat - we saw it on several scans. I passed the pregnancy into the toilet and didn't even notice. It was that small.

Are you suggesting that because it had had a heartbeat, I was flushing a dead baby down the loo?

I'd like you to give me a yes or no answer on whether or not I flushed my dead baby down the loo. Thanks.

Is this the same as the silent scream video? I watch then when at uni studying medical ethics and it definitely shaped my views.

Hi OP. You haven’t answered rubicon80 very clear question - why not. Come on be courageous - as it sound like you do believe a cluster of cells under 8 weeks is a baby.... give her a straight answer. your whole post is classic woman blaming. All the fault of careless wicked women

I don't care if 99.9% of terminations are because a woman didn't use contraception. I support fully informed choices, education and awareness of all options. Any moral bias I have stays in my head because not my womb, not my choice.

I'm pro choice, because I agree with a pp about women finding a way anyway, even if it means doing it at home. It's much safer if it's legal, and no one should be forced to carry or give birth to a baby they don't want.

My problem with abortion is "if you willingly had sex then take some responsibility!". Yes, contraception failures happen, and that's shit, but anyone not using contraception, should know there's a chance they could conceive? Some people act as if pregnancy just happens magically, and not as a direct result of deciding to have sex one night.

I hate slut shaming, my problem isn't with that, it's anyone who's sexually active and not taking precautions that gets me. Or worse people that don't bother ever and end up having multiple abortions, because they know they can always just abort if they need to. If you're not prepared to have safe, responsible sex, you're not ready to be sexually active? I think that's what they told us in school?

Male hormonal contraception would be great as a back up, or for any women who can't use it, whose partners could.

Rubicon I'm sorry
I don't know if OP's answer to your question is going to do you any good.

Abortion is a medical procedure and so needs to be done in a medical environment.

Women have, and will choose to terminate pregnancies. If they have not access to the above they have and will try anyway. The consequences of that have been and will be horrific.

I personally don't agree with abortions and hope I'm never in that position.

But not being allowed them would push desperate women to using unsafe methods just like they did before. A lot of second trimester abortions are also only done when the fetus is found to have life threatening conditions so it's not so crystal clear.

Not all women are starting with the same capacity- I've read previously that those few women who have multiple abortions tend to be additionally vulnerable with addictions, MH problems, abusive or chaotic lifestyles etc. Most women don't just opt for repeat abortions for kicks.

@Sagradafamiliar Thank you . I'm OK.

I'm not going to feel any worse about the miscarriage, regardless of what OP thinks of me or my experiences .

S/he is someone who has deliberately come on to a forum mostly populated by women of reproductive age, going through all manner of issues around pregnancy etc., to make inflammatory and upsetting comments

It would be, you'd think, the least she could do to have the courage of her convictions, unpleasant though they might be, and say what she means.

Going to answer me yet, OP , @Mum2386 , or do you need me to repost the question for you again?

A cluster of cells may be just that, but it had the potential to grow into a baby? That's why people get so upset about miscarriages, or abortions they regret, because of what could have been? "What if..?" I've also seen blogs and things were people have planted miscarried foetus's in plant pots etc, as they didn't feel right just flushing it away, although I don't think I could personally deal with that, just flushing and having done would seem much less distressing to me I think.

I imagine most women who have an abortion, feel an incredible sense of relief, but for those who were torn it must be awful. I read a thread once about a woman who'd taken the first pill, changed her mind, and was desperately looking for info as to was it too late, what the impact on the foetus would be etc

Aravis Does everyone who sleeps around with out contraception "get you" or just the women?

Pro lifers don't care about women or babies. Forced pregnancy and birth is a worse state of affairs than a safe and humane termination of the unwanted pregnancy.

Yes everyone, if men don't want to get anyone pregnant, they should be using condoms. And male hormonal contraception, if they ever bring it out. Wasn't there supposed to be a pill and a patch being developed?

Also, men can walk away at any time from a pregnancy, and act like it never happened (unless they end up with a CM claim, in which case they can still just pay the minimum and have no further involvement). Women are often the ones left to deal with the fall out, alone. Which isn't right but that's how it is.

Sorry my point was, in an ideal world abortion would be a back up fail safe, for anyone who got "caught out" so to speak. I agree with better sex education, free contraception, and better support for vulnerable women who may be taken advantage off. But how does all that happen?

@Newbie1981 so you’re not against abortion? No wonder you don’t speak about your opinion, you don’t seem sure of what it is.

@Mum2386

Your stats are way off...
The abortion statistics for 2018 show that the highest number of abortions occurred for those that were 21 year old. It is a sharp increase from those aged 15 to 21 and it remains high with a slow decline for those over 21. More 33 year old women are having abortions than 17 year olds. Four fifths of women are single but that is their martial status not relationship status. Abortions aren’t occurring overwhelmingly as a result of a young woman going out and failing to use contraceptive. If you make some general assumptions about the stats (which you seem to be ok with), 21+ is when most women are in serious, long term relationships but not necessarily married which would account for your single statistic.

Actually in terms of young women getting pregnant and having abortions, that figure has dropped from 10 years ago. Compared to 10 years ago, women aged 25+ are getting more abortions than they were 10 years ago. This, to me, suggests it’s more of a timing issue than a failure to use contraceptives but that’s just idle speculation.

Both images are taken from the abortion statistics for 2018 from the Department of Health and Social Care. If you google ‘abortion statistics UK’, the gov.uk webpage hosting the report will be the first result.

Nature and nurture made me pro-life. Experience, intellect and compassion made me pro-choice. It has to be a woman’s choice, every time, no justification needed.

I’ll watch ‘unplanned’ if I get chance but my position on this is solid. I wish abortions were never necessary but sometimes they are. The person who decides is the person who is pregnant.

I always find this 'wide eyed shock' and 'late abortions shock' and 'women need to be more careful' stuff always comes from a place where you have NO IDEA of the lives some women lead - just because you have safe access to contraception and a nice ordered life doesn't mean every woman does - some women live chaotic lives, some women are not safe, some women are abused, some women don't know what day of the week it is due to addiction issues, some women make mistakes - ALL women are entitled to safe legal termination if they want one.

do we take the view that sex can result in a pregnancy and the parents should take responsibility in the event that happens

Having an abortion when a pregnancy isn't wanted is taking responsibility...

@Nat6999
“abortion is outlawed in many states. ”

No. Actually because Roe vs. Wade is federal, there is not one state where abortion is outlawed. A few states have added restrictions. But abortion is still legal in every state. It just may not be accessible due to low number of clinics, wait lists and costs.

FrancisCrawford exactly, a lot of anti choice people seem to have this idea of the type of women having terminations as young and have irresponsible sex (trotting our the abortion as birth control speech) rather than mothers in their 30s who already have families and can’t afford additional kids.

If your heart bleeds too much, you can of course step up to adopt the living ones in care who were born into abusive and neglectful homes.

I've never understood this argument. To me, it suggests two things:

1. Pro-choice people feel no sympathy/empathy towards children in care/children that need the services of SS or a charity because their mother could have had an abortion.

1. Unless a woman is completely certain that for the next 18 years she will be able to provide financiall