Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Unplanned - Abortion Film **Trigger Warning** Title edited by MNHQ sensitive content*

999 replies

Mum2386 · 20/09/2019 10:33

Hi,
Last night I watched a film called Unplanned, which is based on a true story of a lady working within an abortion clinic called ‘Planned Parenthood’. The film itself brought me to tears on many occasions and it’s made me feel very uncomfortable surrounding abortion. I had an unplanned pregnancy with my third child but knew abortion wasn’t an option for me. I am quite shocked by the amount of abortions that still take place within our society. Does anyone else feel this way? I know we all have different views but i just wondered what other people’s thoughts were on this very sensitive topic.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
JacquesHammer · 21/09/2019 08:01

I’m sure people have abortions because of various circumstances but it’s wrong to assume that they were faced with no choice, lots of people assuming they had no choice but to terminate

What more circumstance is needed than “I don’t want to be pregnant”?

BarrenFieldofFucks · 21/09/2019 08:11

Yes @firecarrier. I don't understand why it bothers people so much. It wouldn't be my choice, and is a pretty wasteful use of resources but if you say that morally one abortion is fine then so are multiple. There are no babies, just lots of cells.

Mum2386 · 21/09/2019 08:26

StockTake - No I am not going to do the above. It’s not my place to do this and I’m not responsible for societies choices. Maybe you would like to do more for those women who suffer trauma and regret after abortion, maybe you can help open counselling centres and help women who suffer mentally with the decision which they made because there wasn’t any other choice?

OP posts:
TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 21/09/2019 08:27

"I’ve mentioned I had an unplanned 3rd pregnancy, you don’t even know what things were against us as a family because I haven’t divulged it but as termination wasn’t a choice for me morally, I carried on my pregnancy."

That was your choice.

Other women might have chosen differently.

The end.

Mum2386 · 21/09/2019 08:28

Barren - Not all abortions are just a bunch of cells, some of them are very tiny fetuses with tiny hands and feet.

OP posts:
Mum2386 · 21/09/2019 08:31

TrendyNorth - I don’t think it is all of their choice though, women can be forced into abortion, in which case it isn’t about pro-choice, it’s forced choice.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 21/09/2019 08:32

And the woman is an adult human being with hands, feet, a body, consciousness, back story, context, emotions, health, finances, family, a future and agency. Your point?

StockTakeFucks · 21/09/2019 08:33

@Mum2386 I already help and support women through their various choices in many ways.

No I am not going to do the above. It’s not my place to do this and I’m not responsible for societies choices

Hypocrite of the highest order then! Not my circus ,not my monkeys. Not willing to put the work,time and emotions in. But more than happy to be judging and hand wringing on MN.
I suspected that,thank you for confirming it.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 21/09/2019 08:36

"TrendyNorth - I don’t think it is all of their choice though, women can be forced into abortion, in which case it isn’t about pro-choice, it’s forced choice."

So the alternative is forced birth?

bbgxd · 21/09/2019 08:36

Barren - Not all abortions are just a bunch of cells, some of them are very tiny fetuses with tiny hands and feet.

It's very common for to people to feel upset or uncomfortable about 2nd trimester abortion, but it's pointless really debating it. I doubt the law is changing anytime soon, and the most I'd expect it to ever fall by is down to 20 weeks rather than 24.

It's not pleasant but there's not much you can do. There's just no point get worked up about it, it's going to happen. Luckily the latest abortions are mostly for medical reasons and done sparingly.

Boobindoop · 21/09/2019 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JacquesHammer · 21/09/2019 08:41

You get flamed on here if you express views which are not pro abortion which is a shame as discussion should be open to both sides

But one “side” has far greater consequences than the other.

I’m firmly pro-choice - that of course absolutely includes anyone who doesn’t agree with abortion for themselves.

Someone who is pro-forced birth thinks they should have a say in other women’s legal choices. How can you possibly arrive at such an opinion?

MyNewBearTotoro · 21/09/2019 08:43

If a woman uses contraception she won’t have a baby. If a woman falls pregnant (whether through failed contraception or lack of) and then has an abortion she won’t have a baby. Either way no baby exists - I don’t get the moral issue? Yes, a fetus is a potential life baby but so is every egg and sperm. Unless you take the view that contraception and male masturbation are also immortal what difference does it make as to whether the birth of a potential baby is stopped pre or post conception? I can sort of understand some of the concerns people may have about late term abortions (at or after the stage where some babies have been able to survive) but such abortions are a minority. Most abortions are so early on the fetus wouldn’t be recognisable as anything human so I can’t see any ‘moral’ issue around this - it’s just a bunch of cells like a sperm or egg which has the potential to become a baby.

Any person who feels they can’t or won’t raise a baby and has an abortion is very much taking responsibility for that pregnancy in my opinion. Far worse to bring an unwanted baby into the world or add yet another child into the already stretched foster care system.

BertrandRussell · 21/09/2019 08:43

I don’t think anyone’s been flamed, have they? Except a poster who said something deeply unpleasant. Disagreement is not “flaming”. And the problem is that “pro life” people often want to impose their views on other people. Pro choice people don’t. The clue, as they say, is in the name.

Mum2386 · 21/09/2019 08:45

StockTake - That’s like saying we have to be responsible for everyone’s choices. You clearly have a lot of time to do that but clearly you’re not doing enough because there are many women out there without support. If you support women through their choices does that mean you support the ones who choose to continue their pregnancies and are ‘forced’ to give birth.
I don’t support knife crime either, does that mean I should be out patrolling the streets and if I’m not does that also mean I support it? Didn’t think so!

OP posts:
Mum2386 · 21/09/2019 08:48

bbdgx - I was answering to someone who said abortion was just a bunch of cells. I am not getting worked up, it seems everyone else is though because I have a different personal opinion.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 21/09/2019 08:49

“If you support women through their choices does that mean you support the ones who choose to continue their pregnancies and are ‘forced’ to give birth.” Well yes, pregnancy advisory services do.

Mum2386 · 21/09/2019 08:50

MyNewBear - You’re wrong though, a sperm or egg on its own isn’t a life, a sperm and egg once conjoined is the beginning of a life, you can’t compare them both.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 21/09/2019 08:51

“ I am not getting worked up, it seems everyone else is though because I have a different personal opinion.”
I’m not clear what your personal opinion is- would your preference be to restrict other women’s choices?

StockTakeFucks · 21/09/2019 08:51

ones who choose to continue their pregnancies and are ‘forced’ to give birth.

If they CHOSE to continue the pregnancy how is that forced to give birth?

Mum2386 · 21/09/2019 08:54

“If you support women through their choices does that mean you support the ones who choose to continue their pregnancies and are ‘forced’ to give birth.” Well yes, pregnancy advisory services do.

So pro choice also supports pro birthers then? I thought on this thread you couldn’t possibly be both? You’re either pro life or a pro birther?

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 21/09/2019 08:57

So pro choice also supports pro birthers then? I thought on this thread you couldn’t possibly be both? You’re either pro life or a pro birther?

Pro-choice supports every woman’s right to do what is right for HER.

If that means she feels unable to access abortion for any reason, then yes - of course they deserve support. Mainly because if they truly are in a position of being forced to give birth, they bloody need support.

Mum2386 · 21/09/2019 08:58

ones who choose to continue their pregnancies and are ‘forced’ to give birth.

If they CHOSE to continue the pregnancy how is that forced to give birth?

Because they couldn’t face an abortion, so chose to continue even if they had no choice and chose to put the baby up for adoption.

OP posts:
Firecarrier · 21/09/2019 09:00

BarrenFieldofFucks

Yes @firecarrier. I don't understand why it bothers people so much.

I always find this very surprising when pro choice people say things like this, or the other classic 'not your womb - not your business' is it genuinely beyond them to hazard a guess at why many women get upset about abortion.

Let me say it this way, if I saw a neighbour being rough and unkind with her baby and said that it upset me, no-one but no-one would say, not your baby - not your business. Now someone on your side of the argument of course will scoff and say that that is completely different. However for many women it really isn't, that is not to say they feel indifferent towards the pregnant woman but they feel deeply grieved by the treatment of the pre born. Of course there is a wide spectrum some would disagree with any abortion for any reason whereas some would be ok up to a certain point (probably influenced by how developed they perceive the unborn baby to be eg. Pain receptors and brain activity)

It wouldn't be my choice, and is a pretty wasteful use of resources but if you say that morally one abortion is fine then so are multiple. There are no babies, just lots of cells.

You are lots of cells. A living organism. A human being. So is a baby in the womb. If a child was in a hospice with meningitis and had to have all their limbs removed does it make them less of a child, less worthy of life and medical support? What about an extremely mentally incapacitated adult?

If we agree it would be unethical to euthanise either of these two examples then you are closer to understanding a pro-life person's viewpoint.

Of course, the obvious reply here is that it is completely different because the baby is inside the woman's womb and she doesn't want it to be but that doesn't negate the other point.

My own opinion is that humans in general are of value just because they are, it doesn't depend on whether someone else attributes any worth to them. Eg I think the street children who have to make a living scavenging for rubbish are valuable even though their society tells them otherwise everyday and that is why I donate to help in some small way.

Mum2386 · 21/09/2019 09:00

If that means she feels unable to access abortion for any reason, then yes - of course they deserve support. Mainly because if they truly are in a position of being forced to give birth, they bloody need support.

They wouldn’t be forced to give birth though if they chose to continue with the pregnancy and put their baby up for adoption.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread