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Original poster

Unplanned - Abortion Film **Trigger Warning** Title edited by MNHQ sensitive content*

999 replies

Mum2386 · 20/09/2019 10:33

Hi,
Last night I watched a film called Unplanned, which is based on a true story of a lady working within an abortion clinic called ‘Planned Parenthood’. The film itself brought me to tears on many occasions and it’s made me feel very uncomfortable surrounding abortion. I had an unplanned pregnancy with my third child but knew abortion wasn’t an option for me. I am quite shocked by the amount of abortions that still take place within our society. Does anyone else feel this way? I know we all have different views but i just wondered what other people’s thoughts were on this very sensitive topic.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
StockTakeFucks · 20/09/2019 22:16

Would you like it to though?Smile

Rubicon80 · 20/09/2019 22:17

What do you want from this thread OP? Other than causing as much distress as possible to as many women as possible, and kicking off multiple fights - in which case, congratulations to you. Good fucking job.

Eleanoryellow89 · 20/09/2019 22:17

@Rubicon80 it clearly does make a difference though. You’re telling me that my miscarriage didn’t matter because you said yours didn’t matter and we went through the same situation. So basically I’m the idiot for getting upset about it? Because we should all be stoic and uncaring because it’s just a bunch of cells right!

StockTakeFucks · 20/09/2019 22:18

@Eleanoryellow89 it's not unfair that a woman who had the same experience as you feels differently about it. You are entitled to your feelings,so is she. "Good people" has nothing to do with it.

Eleanoryellow89 · 20/09/2019 22:19

I'm sorry for the loss you've experienced. No one is denying your feelings of it. So stop denying others of theirs

I’m not denying her feelings. She denied mine by saying that it’s just a bunch of cells. I’m not denying her feelings because she has no feelings about it. She made that perfectly plainly clear

Eleanoryellow89 · 20/09/2019 22:20

it's not unfair that a woman who had the same experience as you feels differently about it
It’s unfair that I went through something horrible and I’m so upset by it whereas someone else who went through the same thing doesn’t care at all.

Firecarrier · 20/09/2019 22:20

BarrenFieldofFucks

Even if someone did use abortion as their main form of contraception (not the true sense of the word obviously), what harm does that do anyone else? I really struggle to see why others find it so abhorrent.

Do you?

Really?

Goodness me, I found that so hard to identify with that I don't know where to start!

Rubicon80 · 20/09/2019 22:20

@Eleanoryellow89 No, I haven't said any of those things.

I've explicitly said, over and over again, that how I feel about my miscarriage does not impact on how you feel about yours.

I have not once, in any way shape or form, said that your miscarriage 'didn't matter', that you're 'an idiot', or anything at all about how other women 'should' feel.

Please stop saying these things because they are just, simply, lies.

Once again, I'm sorry that you are so upset and angry about your miscarriage, but you are directing it at the wrong target. The fact that I'm not traumatised by my early miscarriage says nothing at all about your experiences, and I could do without being insulted and excoriated because of my feelings about my own life - which are just as valid as yours, no more and no less.

Eleanoryellow89 · 20/09/2019 22:23

@Rubicon80 it does though because you’re saying my miscarriage wasn’t a big deal because it was a bunch of cells. You said it about yours and we went through the same thing!! You’re not telling me I’m not allowed to feel sad but you have said that a bunch of cells is meaningless so obviously I’m going to get my back up and think I’m fucking abnormal or something to care about a bunch of cells

GCAcademic · 20/09/2019 22:23

Seriously, Eleanoryellow, would it make you happier if Rubicon was suicidally-depressed about her miscarriage in order to validate your own feelings? She is entitled to her feelings on the experience, as you are yours.

Millymollymandybestie · 20/09/2019 22:26

One of the things I don’t understand as an argument that us used by anti abortion is the mother is given a choice but not the foetus, But surely that works both ways - no they dint choose to be aborted but they don’t choose to be born either. It sounds stupid and is so u can’t understand why people use this as an argument as a foetus does clearly not have the capacity to make this choice and therefore the mother’s best interests should trump this. Ok it’s not the same but it’s like saying a new mum wants to return to work but they should as the baby if it would prefer it’s num to go back to work or stay at home - a baby cannot make that choice so ultimately the mum makes what she believes is the best choice

Eleanoryellow89 · 20/09/2019 22:26

@GCAcademic I never said she wasn’t entitled to her own feelings!!!! I said that she’s making me feel like a twat for caring about ‘a bunch of cells’ because it’s just so meaningless right? And if we went through the same thing and she’s not bothered then she’s obviously thinking that I’m upset over nothing

Rubicon80 · 20/09/2019 22:27

@Eleanoryellow89 I can't keep going round in circles, but no, I haven't said anything about your miscarriage - nothing at all.

You need to understand that me talking about my life and my experiences does not invalidate or affect yours - and by the same token, you don't get to tell me that I 'should' feel a particular way about it.

MiniMum97 · 20/09/2019 22:27

The "moral part" you should be thinking about is the horror of forcing women to carry pregnancies and give birth against their will. That's the bottom line of not allowing abortions. Makes the moral part very clear for me.

Original poster
Mum2386 · 20/09/2019 22:28

StockTake - No because it’s not my body. I’m not responsible for other people’s bodies or choices, only that of my own. My decision is made purely by the fact of how I personally feel about terminations (the process involved) and the regret and mental side of having one.

OP posts:
Rubicon80 · 20/09/2019 22:29

she’s obviously thinking that I’m upset over nothing

Please stop asserting that I'm 'obviously thinking' things. You don't know what I'm thinking. And what I am SAYING is the exact opposite of that. I am not thinking, or speaking, about you or your experiences. I am talking about my own personal experiences. Which - once again - are no less AND no more valid than yours.

Solihooley · 20/09/2019 22:30

Eleanor nothing applies to you by default, that’s not what was said. Everyone has a different feeling about a very personal and visceral experience.

In the nicest way, life (and death) really isn’t fair. Life is a complete lottery? This has nothing to do with giving women more control over their bodies and their lives.

Sagradafamiliar · 20/09/2019 22:31

Eleanor you need to stop.

StockTakeFucks · 20/09/2019 22:31

And if we went through the same thing and she’s not bothered then she’s obviously thinking that I’m upset over nothing

She's not thinking anything about you,she hasn't mentioned you,or any other woman that had a miscarriage. You didn't even exist on the thread when she started posting about it. She's talking about her own experience and her own feelings about it.

You seem angry that she's not suffering as you are. As much as you're hurting that anger is misdirected and the only thing that is unfair in all this exchange.

Firecarrier · 20/09/2019 22:32

Eleanoryellow89

Flowers
Eleanoryellow89 · 20/09/2019 22:33

You need to understand that me talking about my life and my experiences does not invalidate or affect yours
It does though because you talk about how your miscarriage was meaningless and trauma-less because it was microscopic and had no feelings, consciousness etc. How do you think that makes me feel when I’ve been through the same thing as you?! How does what you’ve said not inadvertently applied to me? My miscarriage was microscopic, it had no feeling, no consciousness. That does invalidate my feelings although you didn’t explicitly say ‘you shouldn’t feel xyz’, you listed plenty of reasons why you didn’t feel anything. It applied to you so it applies to me because we went through the same thing!

GCAcademic · 20/09/2019 22:33

And if we went through the same thing and she’s not bothered then she’s obviously thinking that I’m upset over nothing

It’s not obvious that she’s thinking that at all. All that came across from her posts what that she recognised that you both had different but equally valid reactions to the same experience. I get that you’re, understandably, upset by your miscarriage but it’s not on to attack someone in that way and ascribe malicious intent to them.

StockTakeFucks · 20/09/2019 22:33

@Mum2386 really? So despite all the angst and moral dilemmas, if you had a choice,if you had a say in the legalities of abortion you wouldn't change a thing?

LL83 · 20/09/2019 22:35

If as OP 92% are single women that shows people dont want to have an

Eleanoryellow89 · 20/09/2019 22:36

nothing applies to you by default
We went through the same thing so obviously if she thinks one thing about her miscarriage, she thinks it about mine.
If she was my friend and I confided about my miscarriage, she’d only be thinking ‘god, it was only a bunch of cells. Microscopic and meaningless’. Because she went through the same thing and she said she didn’t care because it was so tiny and worthless.
This reminds me why I never bothered to tell anyone.

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