Unplanned - Abortion Film **Trigger Warning** Title edited by MNHQ sensitive content*

[Mum2386]

Hi,
Last night I watched a film called Unplanned, which is based on a true story of a lady working within an abortion clinic called ‘Planned Parenthood’. The film itself brought me to tears on many occasions and it’s made me feel very uncomfortable surrounding abortion. I had an unplanned pregnancy with my third child but knew abortion wasn’t an option for me. I am quite shocked by the amount of abortions that still take place within our society. Does anyone else feel this way? I know we all have different views but i just wondered what other people’s thoughts were on this very sensitive topic.

I don't know, for a myriad of reasons I suppose but it doesn't mean that they would have had an abortion. It is possible they wanted the baby but after the birth they could not cope financially/baby had additional needs, the list goes on. All reasons why babies end up in care here.

You've made numerous references to consenting adults, parents, birth control responsibility.

What about those who don't want to be parents but didn't consent? What about those too young to safely be parents (like a child I once worked with who was 10 for her first termination).

Should they just take more responsibility and not rely on the abortion backstop?

Do you really believe that the majority of women having a termination think abortion is a form of contraception ? (Here's a news alert many studies have shown this not to be true and is a tool used by pro life folks to shame and demand women carry babies they don't want).

Remember the start of life is highly debated. A baby could not live independently outside of the womb, without medical intervention until near to term. That for many is life. Some believe electrical impulse is life. Truth is neither are right or wrong. It's opinion. Not fact.

You've watched a propaganda film and its effected you. Maybe watch some planned parenthood videos which explain why safe abortion exists? Or Vera drake or something which gives an actual balance to this debate.

Or listen to the scientific fact which contradicts the rubbish this film has fed you.

Or think of it a totally different way. Women are restricted by social constructs every day in millions of ways. Why add to it?

@Solihooley Oh ffs. Does it not occur to you that lots of women have had both? About 1 in 3 U.K. women have had abortions, that’s roughly the same number who have had a natural miscarriage. As a pp said, wanted and unwanted pregnancy are completely different. I’m one of those women who have had both, I’ve seen the (much wanted) pregnancy my body expelled and (despite much heartbreak) it totally cemented my pro choice views. I also feel no shame/regret/ trauma from my abortion and it certainly was a decision I ‘took lightly’ in that there was no decision, other than to fit it in before my holiday or after. I’m so so glad I had the choice to safely do what was best for me and my family and I celebrate that. I just wish all women had that choice.

Absolutely. Very well said.

For the record, I've had an abortion, a miscarriage, and two very much wanted children.

And I echo every word you've said.

I don't know, for a myriad of reasons I suppose but it doesn't mean that they would have had an abortion.
They didn't have that choice or option so we wouldn't know would we?

170.000 children were in the care system . Hundreds of them died. Thousands of women got injured or died trying to get diy or illegal abortions.

Oh and not only was abortion illegal,the IUD was banned too and the pill nearly non existent in pharmacies.

Women were literally forced into getting pregnant and giving birth.

So get off your high horse please and stop claiming I'm advocating forcing women into anything being that giving birth or having an abortion.

I want women to have a choice. I also want people to know what can happen when you don't have choice. You might think it's unlikely to happen again or here. Are you willing-to risk it though?

@CyanRyan You just sound so cold and detached. I’m certain that it’s the emotional trauma talking and that’s ok- it was only a few weeks ago.

You're "certain" that it's the emotional trauma talking? You are funny. Hilarious. Honestly, who the living fuck do you think you are to tell me in that patronising way "that's OK"?

You have no idea, fuck all idea, about who I am, what I've experienced, or how I feel.

You have no right at all to, in this ridiculous and pathetic way, claim ownership of my life, my feelings and my experiences.

You have no right whatsoever to tell me what you think about what it's OK or acceptable for me to feel.

I'm "cold and detached" because what passed through my cervix and out of my vagina was so microscopically small that I didn't even feel it go and couldn't even see it in the toilet bowl full of blood.

Because it was an invisible to the naked eye collection of cells that had no meaningful existence, no consciousness or feelings, and - presumably - no hope of ever developing into a baby, since an early miscarriage like that is going to be due to a very fundamental abnormality.

I'm not going to say what I actually want to say to you, but you really should take a long fucking look in the mirror and reassess your decision to post those posts to me, or indeed any posts on this or any other forum, now, in the past, and in the future.

@CyanRyan you do not get to decide how another woman should feel about her own experience . You don't get to arm chair diagnose someone because their feelings don't match your narrative.

@Rubicon80 ok.

Not going to read the thread.

Although this is primarily a parenting site. It is overwhelmingly pro abortion (pro choice) whatever you want to call it. You will get slated/hounded and villified for daring to question the 'morals' surrounding abortion.

The reason some women get so incredibly angry about is in my opinion because it touches a nerve (their conscious) and they don't like that. Understandably.

I find it repugnant to suggest that a human is only of value if someone else 'values' them.

It is a sad world sometimes.

@Shmithecat2 @Solihooley @StockTakeFucks
Thank you all for sticking up for me and for a bit of sense and empathy in the face of that shite. to you all for all you've been through and just for standing up for women generally. x

So because I don’t fit the majority of opinions of a pro-choice woman my opinion is invalid and I’m now a troll because I have a difference of opinion. Does that also make you trolls for having a different opinion to one of my own?
There have been numerous assumptions made on this post. My opinion doesn’t stop other women from making the choice to abort, it is my own personal opinion, we all have one and are all entitled to one. Just because i find it uncomfortable that doesn’t affect anyone else but myself. This was made up mainly from what I’ve seen and read and how I feel about it in general.

@Rubicon80 why did you need empathy when you clearly made out that you didn’t give a shit about your miscarriage? I had a miscarriage a couple of months ago and I think it’s disgusting that you think that the bunch of cells we both miscarried are meaningless. I’m disgusted by your attitude

@Rubicon80

You are so very welcome.

@Eleanoryellow89

Rubicon80 is entitled to feel however she wants to about her personal experience, as you are yours. Her 'attitude' is NOYB.

Is it right to use abortion as a back-up method
*
Maybe abortion has become too reliant upon and as it stands is used as a safety net, when it shouldn’t.

maybe if they did and abortion wasn’t an option, then they would?*

You are against abortion,just not ballsy enough to come right up and saying it. All this hand wringing about how many there are and how abortion only exists due to lack of contraceptive responsibility is bs. Pretty foil wrapper around a shit bonbon .

@Eleanoryellow89 Rubicon80 why did you need empathy when you clearly made out that you didn’t give a shit about your miscarriage? I had a miscarriage a couple of months ago and I think it’s disgusting that you think that the bunch of cells we both miscarried are meaningless. I’m disgusted by your attitude

I wasn't thanking them for their empathy for my experience of miscarriage.

I was thanking them for their empathy for my experience of being goaded, patronised and deliberately taunted by a poster on an internet forum who was doing his/her best to instrumentalise and exploit my own life experiences - which I'd chosen to share - and to use them against me.

I'm very sorry that you experienced a miscarriage and that you feel so traumatised by it.

I know that lots of women do feel that way, and lots don't. Perhaps others have mixed feelings. All of those feelings are equally valid.

So I don't understand why you would feel so 'disgusted' by my expression of how I felt about having a miscarriage myself. It has no bearing whatsoever on how you feel. I'm not telling you how you should feel - exactly the opposite.

The point about what that goady, horrible poster was saying, is that she was denying my own first hand experiences of what it was like FOR ME to have an early miscarriage.

I wouldn't dream of doing the same to someone else. How another woman feels about her own pregnancy/miscarriage/abortion etc. is not affected by how I feel about mine.

Just like someone being happy and over the moon about being pregnant doesn't mean that someone else might not be appalled and suicidally distraught to find out that they are. We all have different experiences.

It's denying other people's reality and claiming to know better than them how they feel which is wrong.

@Rubicon80

What really got my back up was that that poster nearly implied that there must be something wrong with you in order to feel how you feel.

That was worthy of empathy, and quite obviously so..for anyone that doesn't have the emotional intelligence of a newt.

Even if someone did use abortion as their main form of contraception (not the true sense of the word obviously), what harm does that do anyone else? I really struggle to see why others find it so abhorrent.

Because it was an invisible to the naked eye collection of cells that had no meaningful existence, no consciousness or feelings, and - presumably - no hope of ever developing into a baby, since an early miscarriage like that is going to be due to a very fundamental abnormality

I went through the same thing so what you’re saying is applied to me by default. My miscarriage was meaningless then. The ‘bunch of cells’ was meaningless. It’s so fucking unfair that people like me go through that when I actually cared. It’s not fair when bad things happen to good people who care when people who don’t care can just brush it off. So fucking unfair.

my opinion is invalid and I’m now a troll because I have a difference of opinion

If you choose to cite manipulative propaganda videos and throw around made-up statistics, though, you can't expect your opinion to be taken as seriously as if it rested on a more sound basis. Not all opinions are equal. People have refuted some of your opinions with scientific and statistical facts.

@Eleanoryellow89 My post was explaining my own feelings and my reasons for feeling that way.

It doesn't apply to you, I'm not making any statements about how anyone else should feel or what they should do. Not my place.

The world is not fair and it's not fair on you that you had a miscarriage, it's a horrible experience for you. How i feel about my own experience doesn't make any difference to yours.

@Eleanoryellow89

Stop projecting. I'm sorry for the loss you've experienced. No one is denying your feelings of it. So stop denying others of theirs.

StockTake - It is used as a safety net for contraceptive failures, or those who did not use contraceptives and fell pregnant and didn’t want to continue with a pregnancy. I was addressing the facts around why abortion exists in the first place. Maybe I do come across as pro-life but that doesn’t mean my decision and views affect other women who chose to terminate. My own opinion won’t stop women from continuing to have abortions will it! So what’s your issue?