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Unplanned - Abortion Film **Trigger Warning** Title edited by MNHQ sensitive content*

999 replies

Mum2386 · 20/09/2019 10:33

Hi,
Last night I watched a film called Unplanned, which is based on a true story of a lady working within an abortion clinic called ‘Planned Parenthood’. The film itself brought me to tears on many occasions and it’s made me feel very uncomfortable surrounding abortion. I had an unplanned pregnancy with my third child but knew abortion wasn’t an option for me. I am quite shocked by the amount of abortions that still take place within our society. Does anyone else feel this way? I know we all have different views but i just wondered what other people’s thoughts were on this very sensitive topic.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
BertrandRussell · 20/09/2019 19:57

Yes. I use Forced Birthers.

StockTakeFucks · 20/09/2019 19:59

Well some died,some killed them selves, some ended up in the streets/in the sewer systems and addicted to drugs or prostituted themselves, some kept being institutionalised in prison like facilities,some got jobs in the orphanages they grew up in.

Unless they were adopted and hopefully that meant a better life for them.

I was and despite being abused in many ways I count myself lucky.

Mumprobs · 20/09/2019 20:00

Oh and if you take a look at the pregnancy choice board on here, some of the threads are heartbreaking. They’re by women who don’t know what to do in their situation. Imagine them reading this thinking how disgusting they are because of certain people giving their irrelevant opinions when it’s not their pregnancy or their body to begin with! I think until it concerns you’re baby / embryo / body then stay out of it unless you’ll give support and not negativity

Mumprobs · 20/09/2019 20:01

*your sorry

Instatwat · 20/09/2019 20:01

@Pinkyyy
I’m not quite sure what to say to that - I guess, thank you for the apology.

I do hope I’ve made you realise that there are “real women” with “real feelings” behind every abortion decision. As convenient it would be to dismiss that, you can’t.

While the reason I chose a TFMR (despite wanting so very badly to bring my little girl home) was medical, imo other reasons are just as valid. The mental health of the parent(s). The social setting which you’ll be bringing a child into. The circumstances of their pregnancy.

I fail to believe that anyone goes out and deliberately gets pregnant, hoping to have an abortion. And everyone who ends up down that route is a real person like me and deserves to be treated as such.

Baguetteaboutit · 20/09/2019 20:03

Unless they were adopted and hopefully that meant a better life for them.

It depends when they got out. If they were adopted within a few months, they faired batter. Children left starved of affection of care for years until they were rescued adopted didn't do as well.

www.bbc.com/news/amp/health-39055704

CyanRyan · 20/09/2019 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

StockTakeFucks · 20/09/2019 20:05

There was one orphanage where 138 children aged between 2 and 12 have died in 2 years. But I guess they got born first so yay!

Pinkyyy · 20/09/2019 20:06

@Instatwat you have given me a lot of food for thought. I know that nobody purposely gets pregnant so that they can have an abortion. However I think people are far too quick to have them. I don't think I will ever be able to support abortions as a choice, but hearing of your situation has definitely made me realise that for you there was no choice and that is extremely sad.

Praiseyou · 20/09/2019 20:16

@StockTakeFucks while I think I understand the point you're making, it is not the case that if a woman can't care for her child or if the child has special needs, that it is an unwanted pregnancy. And it's getting close to eugenics territory to suggest that abortion is the answer in those cases.

If it's the woman's choice to continue the pregnancy or terminate it, her circumstances or that of the child doesn't come into it. It's still her choice. You can't say that all the mothers of those children were forced into giving birth. You don't know what they wanted.

A pro-lifer could post an episode of "Long Lost Family" showing a child that was adopted who had a great life but that wouldn't mean that continuing with a pregnancy and opting for adoption is the answer for everyone.

wheretoturnnext · 20/09/2019 20:19

Until a couple of years ago I was someone who would have said I would never choose to have an abortion. Completely agreeing it should be a choice available to any woman, but not one I would ever take.

But then I found myself completely unexpectedly in a situation where it was the choice I made. The reasons why are no one's business, but never did I imagine I would ever find myself in that situation.

There are so many reasons why a woman may choose to terminate, and until you've been there you don't know what you would do to try and cope with the situation you are in. It's easy to say that theoretically 'that's not something I would do', but the reality of a terrifying situation is very different.

StockTakeFucks · 20/09/2019 20:22

If it's the woman's choice to continue the pregnancy or terminate it, her circumstances or that of the child doesn't come into it.

Surely it's her circumstances that influence the choice?

rededucator · 20/09/2019 20:24

Rachelover60 Thank you for taking the time to answer and provide a link.

Praiseyou · 20/09/2019 20:33

Surely it's her circumstances that influence the choice?

Yes, and the over riding circumstance for a woman might be that she could not go through with an abortion even if other circumstances indicate that she cannot care properly for the child. It's still her choice to continue with the pregnancy.

StockTakeFucks · 20/09/2019 20:37

Where did i say it wasn't?

I'm pro choice..the choice to keep a baby,abort a baby,give it up for adoption etc.

I want a woman to always be able to have full choice and control of her body. To keep a baby when no one wants her to,to abort a baby when no one wants her to.

Unlike forced birthers,I don't go around demanding everyone has an abortion or try to decide if they're reasons are "bullshit" before they get to give birth to their baby.

Rubicon80 · 20/09/2019 20:38

@CyanRyan What do you think that I think it was, if not 'the loss of a bunch of cells'? What was it then?

I think that could be the trauma talking and you trying to detach from the emotional impact of your miscarriage

Wow. That's possibly the most arrogant comment I've ever encountered.

I'm sharing MY experience of MY miscarriage, that happened all of four weeks ago, and telling you how I feel about it. You know - how I feel about something that happened to me.

What insane series of thoughts led you to the conclusion that you - someone whose knowledge of me is limited to a tiny number of words on a screen - understand my own experience of my own pregnancies better than I do myself?

Who the hell do you think you are?!

Praiseyou · 20/09/2019 20:56

@StockTakeFucks In an earlier post, you said
Watch this and then come tell me abortion should be illegal. That babies should simply be born with no regards for circumstances or their quality of life.

which I took to mean that you thought that family circumstances and the health of the child should come before a woman's desire to continue with a pregnancy. Perhaps I took you up wrong.

StockTakeFucks · 20/09/2019 21:01

@Praiseyou have you watched the video?

Praiseyou · 20/09/2019 21:02

Yes

BarrenFieldofFucks · 20/09/2019 21:03

I had an abortion, and found it not in the least bit traumatic. Three children later I still have no regrets. The last of those pregnancies was entirely unplanned, but at a different time in my life I/we didn't consider abortion. But had I decided to have one, I'd have had enough good reasons of my own.

Tbh, people are entitled to hold their own set of values around their bodies. But enforcing that on others? Nah.

I still can't get past the OP way back on page 1 saying that she wouldn't be taking responsibility for the products of forced births as the parents were adults etc. Well, those adults made an adult choice. A responsible choice. How on earth is it more responsible to bring an unwanted child into the world than it is to have a quick procedure to remove the unwanted cells? Surely taking action to remedy a problem is more responsible than just floating through an unwanted pregnancy and the subsequent decades?

StockTakeFucks · 20/09/2019 21:08

@Praiseyou then you'd know that it's about babies being born and abandoned in a system that abused,harmed(physically,sexually,emotionally and mentally)maimed and even killed (in their hundreds)them. Children born only because their mothers were forced to give birth to them. That's what I have an issue with.
Nothing I've ever said or advocated for came anywhere near close your conclusion.

Praiseyou · 20/09/2019 21:18

@StockTakeFucks but you can't know that their mothers didn't want to continue with their pregnancies. Obviously the system was abhorrent but surely it's the system that needs to change.

I don't think using emotive examples contributes to the discussion on abortion, on either side, whether its pro-lifers using images of aborted fetuses or images or abandoned children being treated badly.

Praiseyou · 20/09/2019 21:19

*of not or

StockTakeFucks · 20/09/2019 21:21

Why would they abandon the babies then?

Solihooley · 20/09/2019 21:32

It’s truly convoluted doublethink to deny the humanity of the unborn child while also sympathising with women facing miscarriage who know very well that what has happened is not just the loss of “a bunch of cells”

Oh ffs. Does it not occur to you that lots of women have had both? About 1 in 3 U.K. women have had abortions, that’s roughly the same number who have had a natural miscarriage. As a pp said, wanted and unwanted pregnancy are completely different. I’m one of those women who have had both, I’ve seen the (much wanted) pregnancy my body expelled and (despite much heartbreak) it totally cemented my pro choice views. I also feel no shame/regret/ trauma from my abortion and it certainly was a decision I ‘took lightly’ in that there was no decision, other than to fit it in before my holiday or after. I’m so so glad I had the choice to safely do what was best for me and my family and I celebrate that. I just wish all women had that choice.