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Original poster

anyone awake? Please chat with me for an hour

379 replies

WLmum · 10/09/2019 04:40

Hello, is anyone awake and willing to chat with me about anything at all.
I'm waiting for daybreak, and then for school drop off time, so I can go and be with my truly amazing, so loved dm while she passes away. I am heartbroken. Been awake most of the night wondering if she's going to hold on long enough for me to with her.

Anyone else up? Tell me what you're up for and help me pass the time. Please.

OP posts:
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terraform · 12/09/2019 23:31

I was with my lovely dad for 48 hours before he went. I wanted him to know that someone was there in case he was frightened or felt alone. Those quiet hours in the middle of the night, just me and him, were so hard but so precious too. I hope it comforted him and I'm sure your mum knows you're there and is comforted too.

I'll be thinking of you tonight.

hesatwunt · 12/09/2019 23:42

@WLmum you are being so strong. Sat here in tears thinking about the pain you must be feeling in your heart. I didn't make it when my mum passed away. Snowstorms forced a break in the 12 hour drive and she slipped away couple of hours before I got there.
You are all in my prayers (I hope that doesn't cause any offence) xxxx

Original poster
WLmum · 13/09/2019 00:31

No offence hesatwunt I'm thankful. Our family are not religious but personally I am touched when those that are show their care and love through what's so important and sacred to them.

OP posts:
Original poster
WLmum · 13/09/2019 00:33

wilma that's what we've been told and in dms case, she has lived alone for 20 years and likes her own company, so maybe that's right for her. How can we ever know?

OP posts:
Wavescrashingonthebeach · 13/09/2019 00:42

I'm holding her hand while she sleeps.
I've seen the sky come to lightness and heard the birds welcome the day. Things she loved.

This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Tears streaming down my face. You are sending her on her way with such love. Your children sound amazing. Little fluffy sheep for the youngest is a sweet idea which will help soften the blow of the day for both young and old.
Thoughts, prayers and love to your special family xxx

Original poster
WLmum · 13/09/2019 00:53

Thank you waves. That memory will stay with me in a comforting way for ever.

OP posts:
ProhibitedRodent · 13/09/2019 01:02
Thanks I wish I'd been there for my Dad's passing. But then at the same time in his case, he just slipped away in his sleep and everything was (semi) normal when he went to bed (besides his home oxygen etc of course).

Thinking of you. Remember - when the time comes, her suffering will end Thanks

Rosere · 13/09/2019 01:19

@WLmum, this thread has made me smile, have a sniffle, and want to give my mum a big squeeze. My heart is breaking for you. losing my parents is an inevitable nightmare, but it's genuinely lovely to read how your mum is loved and cherished as all mums should be ❤️
And I have no doubt she knows thatFlowers

WhenPushComesToShove · 13/09/2019 01:39

You will always treasure these special moments of pure love and hold her in your heart forever. I'm sure your loving spirit brings great comfort to her. My heart goes out to you and the family

Giraffey1 · 13/09/2019 01:47

A friend of mine worked in nursing and she said that very often, it’s when the relatives leave the bedside that their loved ones somehow choose that time to slip away. She said it’s almost like the absence gives the ill person permission to go...
You sound so loving and caring, OP, I’m sure this is communicating itself to your mum. She will feel comforted and safe.
And yes, this will help in the days and weeks and months to come: you will be able to look back at this time and know she was loved x

2018SoFarSoGreat · 13/09/2019 02:04

This is the hardest job we will ever have the honor of doing. A able to spend the last 6 days with my dad, and it was terrible and wonderful. With my grandad we had huge numbers of us for most of 7 days, then took shifts as we were getting ill with no sleep and lack of everything we need to keep us going. We remembered lately he always managed to sneak away when nobody was looking. We (26 of us if I remember correctly) piled into the bathroom to give him privacy. Of course oldest child got to sit on the throne Smilehe died three minutes before his children relieved my cousin and me at 2 am. I'm sure he did not want them to watch.

I so wish I had been with my mum. That's a huge regret.

Sending strength and love your way.

JollyHolly30 · 13/09/2019 02:07

This sounds like such a loving, peaceful way to go.
It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your mother. Your posts are so full of love and I'm sure the memory of the quiet, reflective moments you're spending together now will be a comfort to you in the future.

rubyrubyroo · 13/09/2019 02:29

I cuddled my mum 8 weeks ago as she died - it was the most beautiful moment/ stay with her if you can xx

EarringsandLipstick · 13/09/2019 09:15

How are you today? @WLmum

I hope you got some rest 💐

Original poster
WLmum · 13/09/2019 09:54

Morning earrings. Some rest but I still feel totally done in. Db called me in the night to check her with him as he wasn't sure if it was the end. It wasn't as I'm sat by her now, but she has been rattling for a while...

OP posts:
sashh · 13/09/2019 10:11

Just checking in to offer a virtual hug and a virtual cup of tea.

WhenPushComesToShove · 13/09/2019 10:11

I think the comfort of a warm gentle hand, quiet time together and a heart full of love is the ultimate gift to give to your wonderful Mum as she passes from this realm to the next. Whatever your beliefs she will go in peace knowing she is loved and supported

MagicKingdom17 · 13/09/2019 10:15

Thinking of you OP Flowers

Empathy56 · 13/09/2019 10:44

Thinking of you and your dear Mum.It isn't easy losing anybody but especially our Mums.Hope her passing is peaceful for you both.Flowers

terraform · 13/09/2019 11:07

A hug and my thoughts, OP.

IamMadameX · 13/09/2019 11:22

Thinking off you, sorry to hear your losing your mum.

I too lost my Mum in April only 4 weeks after being diagnosed with cancer.

Luckily she was in no pain so grateful for that but how quickly she went downhill was hard to cope with. In the last few days it was hard to understand her and that's what hurts most as didn't know what she was trying to tell me.

I was with her at the end and only 6 months previously we lost my dad, her husband.

So been a hard year and trying to remember the good times and not wallow in the bad.

My thoughts are with you, cancer is evil

VanillaSugarr · 13/09/2019 11:55

madameX Flowers. So sorry for your losses in such a short space of time x

Brenna24 · 13/09/2019 14:27

I am glad that you got a bit of rest. Sending you more love and strength.

Original poster
WLmum · 13/09/2019 15:55

Thank you brenna. Tbh I'm finding this limbo land tough. Have spoken to Db about it and he's largely feeling the same so I have good support but it is tough.

OP posts:
Awks · 13/09/2019 16:02

Am thinking about you and your lovely mum. Gentle good wishes to you both x

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