anyone awake? Please chat with me for an hour

[WLmum]

Hello, is anyone awake and willing to chat with me about anything at all.
I'm waiting for daybreak, and then for school drop off time, so I can go and be with my truly amazing, so loved dm while she passes away. I am heartbroken. Been awake most of the night wondering if she's going to hold on long enough for me to with her.

Anyone else up? Tell me what you're up for and help me pass the time. Please.

How’s today progressed? x

Thinking of you and sending support to you and you family.

Thinking of you all OP sending love x

Hi wilma. I'm sat by her bedside listening to rattley breathing. The district nurse who came at lunchtime told us to expect her to be gone within 24 hours, which of course invokes a mix of feelings. I am cautious though - as I said down thread, we've been given signals, and felt it ourselves before now.
No sign of breakthrough pain atm though.

I'd trust the nurse's opinion. With my DH, they were able to tell us they thought it would be within 48 hours, then 'today' at some point. And it was.

I am sorry. No matter how much we feel ready, we are never ready. You've been such a lovely, loving daughter. Your DM has been loved all through this final journey. Can't ask for a better end, really.

Sending a big strong shoulder for you to lean on, if you need it over the next bit. and

Thank you. She's one of the older ones who comes. She's nice and obviously experienced professionally and personally.

Thank you for the shoulder - I think I'm going to need a lot of shoulders for a lot of time to come.

Hi OP I came back to see how you were. You must be exhausted after all this time. I found the rattley breathing very upsetting, and I kind of wanted him to go and be at peace but not go, at the same time. It's very hard. Again, thinking of you, with a virtual hug.

Sending big hugs. I keep coming back to this post to see how you are. Your family seems so lovely, goodnight x

Thinking of you and your family WLmum xx

This may not be for you, but I know some people who’ve been in a similar position. They’ve sat at the bedside, held their relative’s hand and just talked gently with them, saying it’s ok if you want to just slip away, if you want to let go; we love so much but we understand, and it’s ok etc. They say they believe this has helped their loved one take that final journey.
I feel sure your mum knows you are there, deep in her subconscious ... it is lovely, how you are caring and being with her so much in her final days.
I hope that whatever happens, her passing is peaceful x

And so the DN wasn't correct and the tortuous watching and waiting continues. I am certain however though that we are on the final road, just not sure how long that road might be.

Thinking of you.

Thinking of you
Your family sound lovely x

I hope you find this thread supportive OP. There are so many of us thinking of you.

Thank you why
I've decided to sleep in with dm tonight - we have been giving her some space at night in case she wanted to slip away without us watching but I feel the end must be so close now, I can't bear to think of her alone. I know this is about my feelings and not hers, but as I have no way of knowing what she wants, I'm going with it. I also have now way of knowing if she even knows I'm in the room or not.
I'm so sad to think of all the things I'll never tell her, the places she won't come with us, or the dds school plays etc that she won't see.

molly I really do. It's brought me great comfort and company in the lonely and sad wee hours.

Lots of love to you and your mum, @WLmum

Heartbreaking........lots of love to you.
Lots of love to youre mum. Xxx

Have read entire post, the love and support shown is so heart warming. Thinking of you, OP. Your family sound absolutely wonderful

WL I'm sure your mum would love nothing more than you sleeping in with her.

You sound such a kind lovely daughter. X

I've not been on for a few days so have just seen your thread.
Just wanted to send you love, to you and your Mum. Reading your words reminds me so much of my Gran, I'm so glad she had her family with her at the end and I'm glad your Mum has hers too. Lots of love.

Thinking of you Op. I've been there with my wonderful Dad...there aren't really any words for it.

Sending you all love

I've been following your thread OP, I was in exactly the same situation as you are at the end of last year. If I was with my mum I felt guilty I wasn't at home with my young children and if I was at home I felt guilty I wasn't with my mum.
I cared for my mum and was with her right through to the end, for that I'm grateful as it does bring me some comfort.
I'll never forget the long days and nights at her bedside towards the end. I'm sorry you're going through this and my thoughts are with you and your family.

Sending you love

OP - my heart is with you ❤️
I was so blessed to be with my DM at her passing
Big hugs ❤️❤️