Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

One week into reception term and i'm about to fall out with another school mum

407 replies

DoggerDidIt · 07/09/2019 09:40

I'm posting on here so I don't reply to her message Angry

We have a class whatsapp group set up by one of the mums. All very polite and nice since it's only been going a week.

Someone commented on the parking in the morning and I said it wouldn't affect me from now on as DD will be going to breakfast club with her sister in the mornings. Another mum then replied with 'whats breakfast club'. I replied assuming she wanted the details for her DC.

Instead she comes back with 'oh my gosh, thats difficult for your DD, I couldn't cope with having to leave DC on their own at that time of the morning poor thing'. At this point I kind of thought WTF and just replied saying 'well I need to get to work so she doesn't really have a choice haha, I'm sure she will be fine, her sister will be with her'. She then comes back with a fucking essay about how difficult she would find it having to leave her DC for that long and with strangers Hmm and won't DD miss out on going into class with all her friends and very head tilty poor DD comments.

I'm sitting on my hands to not reply well you have that fucking luxury because your husband works and you don't fucking need to leave your DC to go to work you utter knob.

I feel like i am having to defend being a single mum and needing to use fucking childcare!

OP posts:
Rachelover40 · 07/09/2019 21:29

Don't bother with whats app. Then you won't get into unnecessary and unwanted conversations.

gilliansgardenbench · 07/09/2019 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crosser62 · 08/09/2019 07:16

For some reason i was in the parents WhatsApp group without joining or giving permission to anyone for my details to be used.
From day one it was shite, gossipy , gushing and false. “OMG we must arrange a collection for teacher she is so fab” to “wonder why miss xx is off sick in year 3, any one know what’s going on there?”
Not for me so I left.
I have never found that I have missed out on anything at all.

Now in year 2 I’ve survived perfectly well with zero interaction with all but 1 or 2.

Dc still go to parties. I find that the school communicate perfectly well all events.

No reason at all whatsoever to be part of any group like that.

I still say leave the group entirely.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Kuponut · 08/09/2019 07:25

For all those for whom these groups are great for checking if it's dress up as a banana day or whatever - I'm not in any of the groups... everyone still blooming well messages ME to find out any school dates regardless! (I don't mind - it makes me giggle slightly - I'm just the person with a reputation for putting all the diary dates into my calendar as soon as I get them and I joke my fridge door is actually running the local area)

Weezol · 08/09/2019 07:40

Well she's fucked herself for favours all the way to Y 7. As Towel says, it's rare to see one of these in the wild so early in the season. Remain quiet and maintain a watching brief - she could be epic.

Is it just me that would love the link to that woman's blog? No.

I'd also an update from OP on BlogBoss's WA humblebrag when the page count increases because of us checking it.

AliciaQuays · 08/09/2019 07:41

I got three kids through primary school without whatsapp. I know it’s a primary teachers nightmare

EleanorReally · 08/09/2019 07:47

Perhaps her DD is very sensitive? or perhaps you could suggest that? Wink
she is probably jealous and insecure

Laura221 · 08/09/2019 07:50

Wow. Dont let her get to you. I'm one those aloof mums. I come and go with no chit chat. I do occasionally chat to a couple of other mums but i dont make a point of it. Reading things like this makes me sure I do the right thing. My kids LOVE kids club if my husband picks them up early the moan about it. Also a great thing about kids club is they make friends with other children who's parents are in a similar situation to yours. Mute the what's app chat and leave in a few weeks when the conversation has moved on. Well that's what I would do but I'm a bit of a bitch Grin

Kaddm · 08/09/2019 07:52

Just don’t reply.

She’s already humiliated herself by what she’s written. Many others will have her marked out as someone to avoid.

EleanorReally · 08/09/2019 07:53

But keep us updated op with any more gems Wink

AtillatheHun · 08/09/2019 07:59

I remember being really upset by the reception mum who asked me if I’d put my name down for class rep. I said no, on the basis of a hefty commute and full time job. She said “busy doesn’t cut it with me; I’m busy too” - all the judgement of the woman in the giant 4x4 who spends her time going to coffee mornings and “supporting” all her acquaintances’ Stella & Dot / pampered chef parties.
She turned out to be the class Dick (of course) but it cut at the time.
(FWIW, she made such open hostility with other parents that there was a threatened law suit at one point and her child was withdrawn at y4 after a calamitous event at the school where her husband called the other parents a bunch of cunts. O how we laughed)
Keep your powder dry and don’t rise!

Teateaandmoretea · 08/09/2019 08:01

There is always one. People avoid replying because they are in the WhatsApp group to find out how to book appointments for parents evening not to debate their domestic circumstances. Anyone normal will be like this though Hmm.

I imagine if you were a single mum who didn't work she'd judge you for claiming benefits too. Some people are twats and tbh it's useful when they reveal themselves so obviously when you've only just met them 🤷🏻‍♀️

FlamingoQueen · 08/09/2019 08:02

Well done for replying with a polite answer! I would stay in the group just so I can see her piss off everyone else one by one! People like that can’t help themselves and by the end of the year it will be interesting to see if she’s out of the group.

Teateaandmoretea · 08/09/2019 08:03

pampered chef parties

What happened to them? I haven't been invited to one for 10 years. Maybe I'm moving in the wrong circles 😂

Dementornator · 08/09/2019 08:07

My dd has been in breakfast club, 3 times a week, since reception. No her db are in school with her, she won’t be going anymore. She actually cried when I told her. She loved it there and has made me promise to send her occasionally, which I may have to do on my early days!

Girasole02 · 08/09/2019 08:08

I'm in a similar group purely for the info and reminders. I never post! Too much one upmanship going on and I don't feel that my life would be enhanced in any way by getting drawn in.

Sleephead1 · 08/09/2019 08:08

To be honest I wouldn't fall out with her yout child might become really good friends with her plus you will see her every day. Remember everyone get this I had loads of comments about being a SAHM which in my opinion was best for my son and family and I have never or would never comment on anyone using childcare ect we made sacrifices to be able to afford it but that was our choice and it worked best for us but other things work better for other people and as long as you know you are doing what is right for your family then thsts all that matters

MyOtherProfile · 08/09/2019 08:14

She is so marked now! l bet you're not the only mum in the group to use breakfast club.

Marnie76 · 08/09/2019 08:27

Pampered chef uk closed down in December 2015 so don’t feel left out 😁

puppymouse · 08/09/2019 08:28

Mine went straight into breakfast club on day two of starting school last year. I admit I did feel quite emotional as it felt like a big thing when she was so new to school but needs must. First day back this year she was straight in to it - with after school club that evening. I didn't think twice. She really enjoys herself.

I'd just ignore her comment completely so it stays on everyone's screen a bit longer in all its bellendy glory. Ridiculous woman.

AtillatheHun · 08/09/2019 08:32

Pampered Chef parties were simply a way for people to show off their new £200k Pogghenpol

lilypips · 08/09/2019 08:40

I don't understand the need for these weird groups full of people you don't know. I have suggested on this kind of thread before that the answer is to leave the group, and been called an idiot for the idea. However I don't know why anyone needs this kind of crap In their lives. Surely you can crack on as parents have for decades before, without WhatsApp?

TheVanguardSix · 08/09/2019 08:40

Disengage and trust that everyone on that thread is quietly mumbling: Bingo! Week 1 and we've identified the class pain in the arse.
Either dump WhatsApp OR respond sparingly. Her's my motto: If you wouldn't write/say it in a deposition, don't write it on Whatsapp/social media/in an email.
There is ALWAYS a parent who will report/show the thread to the headteacher... always (if it gets too dramatic). Keep a cool head and your powder dry. And disengage when conversations turn sour. You don't EVER need to defend your choices to any other parent, OP. Breakfast club is great. Thank goodness it's there! Ignore that pain in the arse parent. There's a bit of death by association, so when she pops up with her preaching, don't even reply. Don't be seen to be getting sucked into her drama.

MrsBobDylan · 08/09/2019 08:44

When I worked I had another Mum from school tell me she needed to find a job now that she had left her husband.

I started reassuring her that putting kids into before and after school care would work out fine and she responded with:

"I will only work school hours - I didn't have children so someone else could raise them."

I think I just said 'Oh' and left it at that.

Wenttoseainasieve · 08/09/2019 08:47

Oh wow, what drama! She sounds crazy.

My eldest has just started reception and I've seen no sign of a class WhatsApp group, so hopefully there isn't one! I am curious as to how they even come about - how do all these people who don't know each other have each other's numbers?!

Swipe left for the next trending thread