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Original poster

One week into reception term and i'm about to fall out with another school mum

407 replies

DoggerDidIt · 07/09/2019 09:40

I'm posting on here so I don't reply to her message Angry

We have a class whatsapp group set up by one of the mums. All very polite and nice since it's only been going a week.

Someone commented on the parking in the morning and I said it wouldn't affect me from now on as DD will be going to breakfast club with her sister in the mornings. Another mum then replied with 'whats breakfast club'. I replied assuming she wanted the details for her DC.

Instead she comes back with 'oh my gosh, thats difficult for your DD, I couldn't cope with having to leave DC on their own at that time of the morning poor thing'. At this point I kind of thought WTF and just replied saying 'well I need to get to work so she doesn't really have a choice haha, I'm sure she will be fine, her sister will be with her'. She then comes back with a fucking essay about how difficult she would find it having to leave her DC for that long and with strangers Hmm and won't DD miss out on going into class with all her friends and very head tilty poor DD comments.

I'm sitting on my hands to not reply well you have that fucking luxury because your husband works and you don't fucking need to leave your DC to go to work you utter knob.

I feel like i am having to defend being a single mum and needing to use fucking childcare!

OP posts:
IWentAwayIStayedAway · 08/09/2019 11:50

There is always 1 (at least 1 lol). Now you know who to avoid!!

PleaseNoFortnite · 08/09/2019 11:51

I found it's a bit like starting school again yourself when your kids are in primary school, complete with snide comments and cliques. Rise above it, you're doing the best you can for your child, no-one else is walking in your shoes so they don't have the right to judge.

I'm not a single parent but had to do it with kids with SEN, I soon had to develop a tough skin (and found a few good people who understood to hang out with, which I'm eternally grateful for!). You'll find your people, hopefully at this quiz night. Flowers

Ash39 · 08/09/2019 12:10

Definitely go on the night out. Maybe she feels guilty and wants to make amends. But regardless, don't let one person spoil potentially lovely relationships with other parents. I don't know what I'd do without my school mum friends. So I'd try and keep in the loop a bit. It's very valuable.
I'd ignore her if she is annoying on the night out though. Don't engage with her unless there is a genuine apology.

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lilypips · 08/09/2019 12:10

I found it's a bit like starting school again yourself when your kids are in primary school, complete with snide comments and cliques

Am I the only person who simply took their kids to school and collected them later, without getting involved with this?

SoyDora · 08/09/2019 12:15

Definitely not the only one lilypips. I have one in year 1 and one in reception. I take them, smile politely and say hello to the parents I know, and do the same when I pick them up. The odd quick chat. I have no idea what book bands anyone else is on, what any of the parents feel about the use of childcare, or about the teachers or anything else.
Suits me!

Wiltshirelass2019 · 08/09/2019 12:16

I would leave the WhatsApp group, it will only get worse!

SoyDora · 08/09/2019 12:16

I don’t really get the ‘clique’ thing either. People tend to stand with the people they know/are friends with, but isn’t this true of most situations?

BertrandRussell · 08/09/2019 12:19

Yes- people proudly say they have better things to do than socialise with “school gate mums” as if they are an inferior species, then complain about cliques. While I am sure there are occasional cliques, they are mostly just groups of people who have normal levels of social skills, and just chat to each other. You know- that much despised “small talk”....?

StealthPolarBear · 08/09/2019 12:25

I bet the pub night out is a sales pitch for whatever mlm stuff she's flogging

Thereblegeopart · 08/09/2019 12:25

The rest of the reception parents on this WhatsApp chat will now view this parent as unhinged.

Crikey! Keep a friendly distance. Do not engage in conversation, online and on the playground.

PotterHead1985 · 08/09/2019 12:33

Well jell. Love a pub quiz. What's the vet she shows herself up some more?!!?

PotterHead1985 · 08/09/2019 12:33

*bet

AtillatheHun · 08/09/2019 12:43

The quiz nite is her way of drumming up “engagement” for her blog. Or generating #content

Titsywoo · 08/09/2019 12:43

I think just smiling and ignoring is the best option. It's not worth falling out with school mums as you will have to see them in some capacity over the next 7 years and you don't want it affecting your DC in anyway. One ignorant mum at my DCs primary told me I should get my autistic DS retested as he didn't look autistic to her Angry. I just nod and smile and walk away in that instance. Luckily my 2 are both at secondary so i don't have to deal with other parents. That said I met some lovely mums at the school gate so would say don't shut yourself off entirely due to one idiot.

thesnapandfartisinfallible · 08/09/2019 12:48

I'd suggest a bit of counselling for her darling little poppets if they are such highly strung creatures that they can't handle an extra hour of school and don't you feel blessed that DD is such a confident independent child.

mehmehmehmeh · 08/09/2019 13:06

You'll probably end up on her instagram op Grin
#quiznight #mumlife #schoolmums #livingourbestlife

colourlessgreenidea · 08/09/2019 14:28

I'm going to need a damn good excuse

Why? If you don’t want to go, don’t go.

Why is it necessary to present a ‘damn good excuse’ for not going for a drink? People don’t go go along to social events that they don’t want to go every day of the week, no drama necessary.

colourlessgreenidea · 08/09/2019 14:31

Such a lot of drama at the start of term

Quite.

Hopefully it'll all settle down soon

I don’t not see that happening. Wink

Teateaandmoretea · 08/09/2019 14:36

reply with "your poor dd, I couldn't possibly leave my child at home to go to the pub of all places! Do you leave dd for the pub often?"

^^that is fantastic.

My strategy in these circs is 'smile and wave' while continuing to walk

colourlessgreenidea · 08/09/2019 14:36

Am I the only person who simply took their kids to school and collected them later, without getting involved with this?

Nope.

The amount of drama a person allows allow themselves to get sucked into at the school gate, or in social media, is entirely up to you.

Though of course, an MN thread about not getting into a ‘class mum’ showdown would be rather short-lived, wouldn’t it?

Grambler · 08/09/2019 14:51

Thrash her at the pub quiz Grin

Dieu · 08/09/2019 15:21

What a cow she is!
Thanks

Dieu · 08/09/2019 15:22

I'd reply with 'ah well, needs must and all that'.

Pigflewpast · 08/09/2019 16:00

Hopefully you will have a great time at the quiz. I don’t get all the anti school gate friendships posters on here. Yes you start off as only having the school gate in common, but surely most friendships start by only having whatever has put you in the same location in common?
This mum sounds batshit but some of the other parents might become friends.
Some of my best friends were made at the school gate when my eldest started primary, the dc are now 22 but those parent friendships have held firm.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/09/2019 16:30

Well here's hoping it all settles down
No drama
No nonsense
It would be a pity if this sort of nonsense dragged on all term. All over a daft watsapp group and a pub quiz