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Original poster

One week into reception term and i'm about to fall out with another school mum

407 replies

DoggerDidIt · 07/09/2019 09:40

I'm posting on here so I don't reply to her message Angry

We have a class whatsapp group set up by one of the mums. All very polite and nice since it's only been going a week.

Someone commented on the parking in the morning and I said it wouldn't affect me from now on as DD will be going to breakfast club with her sister in the mornings. Another mum then replied with 'whats breakfast club'. I replied assuming she wanted the details for her DC.

Instead she comes back with 'oh my gosh, thats difficult for your DD, I couldn't cope with having to leave DC on their own at that time of the morning poor thing'. At this point I kind of thought WTF and just replied saying 'well I need to get to work so she doesn't really have a choice haha, I'm sure she will be fine, her sister will be with her'. She then comes back with a fucking essay about how difficult she would find it having to leave her DC for that long and with strangers Hmm and won't DD miss out on going into class with all her friends and very head tilty poor DD comments.

I'm sitting on my hands to not reply well you have that fucking luxury because your husband works and you don't fucking need to leave your DC to go to work you utter knob.

I feel like i am having to defend being a single mum and needing to use fucking childcare!

OP posts:
HugoSpritz · 08/09/2019 10:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Starlight456 · 08/09/2019 10:03

If it’s a class group just go silent . I often don’t comment on stuff like that , then when they have a date . Can’t make it have a good time.

Or you might want w go?

It’s a group remember every comment you don’t have to reply to.
Same as mn. Sometimes I read have nothing to say on the subject but read anyway and don’t comment, sometimes what I would say has been said over and over so no point saying the same thing

Trooperslaneagain · 08/09/2019 10:03

I set ours up last year and it's been really helpful, but it's more about WTF is going on tomorrow/do they have non uniform day/when is the school fayre again stuff/ did someone pick up the wrong coat etc.

No one is judgy. There are offers to pick up and drop off and though few of us are "friends" the kids lead the relationships.

DD is horrified sometimes when I pick her up early from after school - technically we don't need it, but we can afford it (just) and when she comes home she just wants to sit in front of a screen, so though I'd like more time with her, IMO she's better playing with her friends and being outside.

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Families
Starlight456 · 08/09/2019 10:04

@TwatCat 🤣🤣🤣

Comefromaway · 08/09/2019 10:07

'reply with "your poor dd, I couldn't possibly leave my child at home to go to the pub of all places! Do you leave dd for the pub often?"

This

Ainsl · 08/09/2019 10:08

I'm a SAHM and my children BEG to go to breakfast club & after school Club. Lots of their friends go and they see it as extra play time! They get mad at me if I pick them up too early. They also beg to go to camps and holiday clubs during half term. That lady is an idiot!! She's also not doing her kids any favours by hovering.

GrumpySausage · 08/09/2019 10:10

Little bit jealous of the WhatsApp groups. I love to sit back and lurk on them, seen some corkers of an arguments when organising hen do's etc.

My DS started school this week but no sign of one yet. I can already guess who's going to be 'that' mum though. 😏

Yoohoo16 · 08/09/2019 10:14

People are so judgemental. I had this when I went back to work when dc was 3 months old. ‘Oh I couldn’t possibly leave my tiny baby at that age’ Newsflash- some of us don’t have a fucking choice.

Parker231 · 08/09/2019 10:16

The other mum is an idiot! Mine went to breakfast, after school and holiday clubs. They were not happy if DH or I collected them early as it meant less time playing with their friends. Their school clubs did sports, crafts, homework, films, or they could sit and read. The choice was theirs and the activities age appropriate.

Definitely opt out of the class group. More trouble than benefit. If there is information you need to know, school will pass it on.

mehmehmehmeh · 08/09/2019 10:18

reply with "your poor dd, I couldn't possibly leave my child at home to go to the pub of all places! Do you leave dd for the pub often?"

😂😂😂 that is brilliant

Moomoo1975 · 08/09/2019 10:19

Trust me i have 3 kids. Do not say anything you will regret ever on a public school group. I have seen this happen so many times. Always double check that you are posting to the correct person and not the group if messaging a mum.
This womans cards are marked. Everyone in that group has now formed an opinion about her. But as it is so early in the yr they will remain quiet.
But if she says anything else, I'd say as regards the breakfast club....that it takes a village to raise a child and it wotks well for your family....as regards the night out I'd say no, you feel so bad having abandoned your child to strangers that you must now make up for lost time with her.🤣🤣

AliciaQuays · 08/09/2019 10:24

Also class rep. Never had those

BeBraveAndBeKind · 08/09/2019 10:25

Woke up this morning to a message from her to the whole group. She's organising a 'get to know each other' night out at the local pub ffs hmm. WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY?

She'll be wanting to size you all up and see if you might be the kind of family she'll let her little darling associate with. Either that or it will become blog fodder.

Zucker · 08/09/2019 10:30

Blog fodder for sure but I'd say there's a sales pitch of some sort coming your way. A lovely juicy mlm scheme. Grin

Mumshappy · 08/09/2019 10:46

She wants to be queen bee doesn't she? I wonder how many will go to the meet up now shes revealed herself as a knob so early on. Think she might have shot herself in the foot on this.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 08/09/2019 10:47

I love the idea of her arranging the cereal bowls and packets

‘James - James - move those coco pops out of the way and out that pack of FrooFroo organic low sugar low salt bark bites. Is that full fat cow milk? For gods sake where is the pottery milk jug you made in class? I know it leaks but it looks ‘rustic’. Have you brushed your hair? Change into the new PJs from the white company - and don’t spill food down them. IS THAT KETCHUP IN THE SHOT??! No those pancakes aren’t real. Just pretend. Yes we are late for school - that’s not important - I need the perfect shot...’

Ginfordinner · 08/09/2019 10:50

I'm so glad that WhatsApp wasn't a thing when DD was at primary school, and Facebook was in its infancy. Some parents became friends with each other, and many didn't, but we had none of this drama.

Original poster
DoggerDidIt · 08/09/2019 11:08

I'm going to go, its a pub quiz night and I bloody love a pub quiz Wink

OP posts:
Bigbopboo · 08/09/2019 11:12

Ha ha ha. School
WhatsApp groups. I have 2 DC at same school. Eldest one's class - we barely use it apart from important info. Youngest DC it's a f** ing nightmare. Moan moan moan. The school can't do anything right. And then the naff memes about back to school/ gin etc. I keep a low profile.

HollysTeflonSeptum · 08/09/2019 11:13

Good plan OP. I also love a pub quiz and the wannabe Queen Bee's weirdness shouldn't have to prevent you from getting to know other parents. Who, let's face it, are probably already admiring your forbearance so far.

MsTSwift · 08/09/2019 11:13

Go. We have an insufferable woman in our class but her heart is in the right place. She is a brexiteer and posted as such on the class fb page. Cringe. It’s a remain area and anyway who talks politics in that forum! There was tumbleweed until someone posted “let’s agree to disagree anyway nits”. Most of the others are decent fun women. Be a shame to miss out on making connections and possibly friends because the organiser is abit thick.

mummyrocks1 · 08/09/2019 11:26

They aren't always bad, I think it depends how much time people have on their hands to get involved in the rubbish.

I ve been in a WhatsApp group for two years since ds started reception. Apart from one mum, talked about previously in the thread, there has been no drama at all. As far as I know no one has fallen out and there is no judgements or competitive parenting. But 99% of the mums work part time or full time so don't have the time or inclination to get involved in drama. I don't work at the moment and the other mums I know who don't work don't seem to like drama and are just nice people. So so far it has run pretty smoothly. Mostly it's messages about school events coming up, the odd social and we do have a bit of a laugh. It is possible for a group of mums, and a couple of dads, to have a nice WhatsApp group without it going bitchy.

Now dd is starting reception and we have a group for the whole year already, two classes, and I ve already had to mute it as it's going on and on with very boring questions from new mums. I have a feeling that one might be different and I might leave. Terms not officially started yet so will reserve judgement but it doesn't look good so far.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/09/2019 11:35

Such a lot of drama at the start of term
Hopefully it'll all settle down soon

Justkeeprollingalong · 08/09/2019 11:44

@ForeverBabe that would be a very underhand and unpleasant tactic and would actually make the OP worse than the other woman 😕

SleepyKat · 08/09/2019 11:50

Decline the pub evening and don't feel you have to fib.

I used to work with a lovely lady who openly refused to socialise with any of us. She said she liked us all fine, but didn't socialise with colleagues full stop as she considered we had nothing in common apart from work. Everyone still got on with her at work ok.