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Original poster

Friend blocked me after a gift

973 replies

Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 08:51

I wouldn't normally post about personal stuff this minor, but I am genuinely confused.

I sent overseas pal an email gift card for something she had raved about. A consumable item. No time limit on card.

She didn't acknowledge it.
Busy, I thought. And just waited for her surprised reaction when she found it.

To be clear, I took cues from her recent photos,so it wasn't off the wall. And it was in relation to something she was about to do. Either this gift card or flowers, I thought.

I spent time zooming in on makers of item, finding them and then phoning overseas and emailing, to sort out a gift card.

She blocked me!
Unblocked me to ask for her most recent gift back and told me to eff off!

I'm pretty stunned. But also worried.

Im currently unblocked , but I'm not sure how to handle this.

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 07/09/2019 09:18

She asked for her most recent gift to be returned?? And told you to fuck off? How weird Confused. As you are currently not blocked I think you have to send her a message along the lines of Contessa’s. Is there anyone else you know who is in contact with her that you can ask?

Breathlessness · 07/09/2019 09:21

Are her gift to you and yours to her reasonably similar in monetary value? Does she have a drinking problem? Did you recently sleep with her husband?

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny · 07/09/2019 09:23

I've just seen your latest post about it being a wine makers.

Bit of a long shot but could you have touched a raw nerve there?
eg. she might have a bit a problem with alcohol, family and friends been giving her a hard time about it (which obviously you would have no idea about) and sees your gift as you pointing that out to her that she's an "alcoholic"??

Like I said, bit of a long-shot

Pieceofpurplesky · 07/09/2019 09:23

She sounds weird.

JuneSpoon · 07/09/2019 09:24

Does she think you were "stalking" her to find such a personalized gift?

ContessaLovesTheSunshine · 07/09/2019 09:24

Are her gift to you and yours to her reasonably similar in monetary value? Does she have a drinking problem? Did you recently sleep with her husband?

I love this Grin

sonjadog · 07/09/2019 09:26

Can you ask her or are you blocked now? It does sound very strange.

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 07/09/2019 09:27

It's a real head scratcher!

Send the email Contessa suggested.

Scrumptiousbears · 07/09/2019 09:27

Oh I'd have to ask her what I'd done wrong. She's not pregnant or in AA is she and saw it as an insult?

LauraKsWhiteCoat · 07/09/2019 09:27

How weird.

Even if you do get to the bottom of why she was upset, I'd still seriously reconsider a friendship with anyone who would be so petty as to block, then unblock to ask for a gift back.

Tooner · 07/09/2019 09:28

Why don't you just ring her and ask what the hells going on.

BlueJava · 07/09/2019 09:28

That's very strange - especially about unblocking you and asking for her last gift back! I assume she's been a good friend as you've stayed in touch and give each other things. I'd just ask her and tell her your genuinely baffled and you're sorry you have somehow upset her and then leave her to it. If she doesn't respond don't do anything, just ignore her. The only thing I can think of is that this touched some sort of nerve perhaps OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny is right.

FreshFreesias · 07/09/2019 09:30

She sounds unhinged and horrible.

SemperIdem · 07/09/2019 09:30

That is beyond bizarre. You have to ask her whilst you’re still unblocked.

Original poster
Redshoesandtheblues · 07/09/2019 09:30

She raved about her new discovery.

So, i thought it was nice treat to give her as an acknowledgement of some recent stuff she has been dealing with, professionally wise. And which was coming to a conclusion.

It was treat.
We've done it before.

OP posts:
Ravenblack · 07/09/2019 09:31

None of this makes sense.

Something has gone amiss somewhere. You send someone a gift who you have been (pen)pals with for ages, and she tells you to fuck off and blocks you.

Sorry @Redshoesandtheblues I am not getting it. You have to make up a new username/account so you can message her and ask what you have done.

I was blocked and ghosted about 5 years ago by someone I worked with for several years, and I never knew why. I did literally NOTHING wrong.

Turns out it was because her husband fancied me! Confused

So she didn't want me in her life, so he couldn't see me!

I also have a friend whose penpal blocked her and wrote to her and said she was hateful and she could not write to her again and to never contact her again. She had been a lovely penpal for 5 years. What caused that was that the woman was a Jehovah's Witness, and my friend wrote to her and told her she was turning to Jesus after losing both her parents 3 months apart the previous year. She was becoming a born again Christian, and the Jehovah's witness penpal lost her shit and said 'enough bad stuff goes on without THIS happening' and that she was done with her. Confused

I also know of penpals of many years blocking and deleting people from their lives when something had happened between their countries. Like there were football riots a few decades ago, and some English fans and Italian fans got into a fight (Heysel stadium riots,) and some Italians died. Several English people had their Italian friends writing to them saying they were evil and poison and they no longer wanted anything to do with them. Even though they had nothing to do with the riots or the football stadium, and didn't know any of the people involved.

Could it be something like that? ANYthing like that? If it was wine, could she be a recovering alcoholic??? Something like that?

Beautiful3 · 07/09/2019 09:32

I honestly would email her. Because we dont know. Say, " Hi friend, I'm genuinely surprised at your reaction to my gift card for £x. What did I do wrong?"

CandyLeBonBon · 07/09/2019 09:32

Without outing yourself op, can you be a bit more specific? I'm finding it hard to understand what sort of gift would provoke that reaction?

SinkGirl · 07/09/2019 09:32

There just has to be a crossed wire somewhere. I can’t imagine what, you definitely need to ask.

Sending Flowers as things like this really really upset me!

Onlythelonelywelcome · 07/09/2019 09:34

She’s left you unblocked to let you respond but if it was me I wouldn’t bother responding.
Good friends don’t treat each other like this, even if there had been an issue with the gift you gave her she could have contacted you in a reasonable manner and explained what the problem was.
Someone tells me to fuck off then I’m happy to do just that

Nonnymum · 07/09/2019 09:34

It sounds like. A lovely thoughtful gift but I'm also wondering if she has an alcohol problem you don't know about but she thinks you might now and are taunting her? Send her an email telling her how confused you are.

SparklyMagpie · 07/09/2019 09:35

I also thought what @JuneSpoon has said. Maybe she thought you were looking a little too much into this

CandyLeBonBon · 07/09/2019 09:35

Sorry op - just realised you'd answered that up thread

CottonSock · 07/09/2019 09:36

She sounds strange and not quite on the level

ClemDanFango · 07/09/2019 09:37

Well I wouldn’t be sending an apologetic email to someone who could treat me so awfully after I’d done something nice for them!
Just ask her straight what the fuck she thinks she’s doing! Tell her you’ll send her gift back once you’ve cancelled the voucher unless she’d first like to explain her fucking problem with you.
Don’t be a door mat OP.