I’m going to have to tell her straight aren’t I?

[PinkBlossomTrees]

This situation is quite complicated but I will try to explain briefly.

My oldest best friend who I used to go to school with has a DD the same age as mine. They live close by and the girls went through nursery and school together.

In year 3 her DD started bullying my DD. My DD didn’t tell me for 2 years. I took it straight to the head when I found out and parents were called in. My friend was unhappy I went to the school and not her. DD moved classes on her request and had a happy final year at school.

The girls are now both in year 9 at different schools. Me and my friend have rekindled our friendship, it’s not the same as before but we are friends. Our DDs have nothing to do with each other but we’ve moved on it’s all in the past.

During the holidays my friend said her DD may possibly need my help with something (to do with my job) and would I possibly be prepared to help her out and if so how much would I charge. I ran it past my DD first and she said she had no problem with it. So I said to my friend that should be fine and I wouldn’t charge.

My friend came back to me and said her DD does need my help and can I go round to theirs on Sunday, it’s all been arranged.

I mentioned to DD last night that I was helping her out Sunday. She’s said she’s not happy about it anymore as friends DD this week has been getting on a different school bus (same stop as my DD) and the name calling has started again and she’s shown me messages from her on Instagram calling her a “fat cunt” and saying how she should go to weight watchers.

After seeing this I have absolutely no intention of helping her out but need to let her Mum know but I have no idea what to say.
If it was you, would you make up a excuse or tell the mum straight the reason why?

I have no idea what to say.

@Antigonads Some girls are horrible as are some boys. Don't go around saying all girls are awful.

Well done OP. Sounds like just the right way to pitch the text to her.

It's an aside really, but I wonder if the OPs line of work relies on reputation and word of mouth?

The girl really is on self destruct if she's trying to get into an industry while pissing off established people. Her Mum should remind her of that.

I agree with everyone else. The mother needs to know what her daughter is capable of. It's her choice how she will deal with it, but she needs to know the truth.
If this isn't nipped in the bud now then the mother will have to deal will worse situations with her DD at High School and that may escalate to the police being involved or social services. Secondary schools are really hot on getting involved in bullying issues, I know because I work in them.
Believe me, you are doing the mother and her DD a greater favour in refusing to help them and telling her the truth.

I would show up at the house WITH my daughter and the messages, and I would call the little b*tch out in front of her mother. What a screwed up kid. Sometimes these monsters need to be humiliated on the spot. If your daughter won't go with you... I would still take screen shots to the house and call her out... I know you probably don't want to cause WW3, but have the backbone to do this and I bet she backs off. She needs scaring herself the little cow. Her mother should support you as well - I'd be ashamed to raise such a little witch, and no daughter of mine would get away with bullying someone like that, and fat-name calling online. Disgusting

Well done on the message you sent. Hope the parents speak to their DD.
Apologies as I've not RTFT, just wondering if the girl didn't want your help and it was her mum who organised it. Not that it in any way excuses her behaviour though.

Well done OP, hopefully the appropriate apologies will be forthcoming .
What an evil child the other girl is , hope your daughter is ok

Well done. Very dignified - but you made your point. Hope she takes her DD to task....

Well done OP - please let us know her reply xxx

Well done OP, absolutely the right thing to do.

I don't know what else you could have done really .

That is amazingly outrageous, calling your daughter a "fat cunt" on instagram. I would send her screen shots and saying, "I am afraid I can't meet on Sunday because I have an urgent crisis--my daughter is being bullied." Then contact your daughter's school immediately. This is TERRIBLE.

Sounds good ok. "I'm not sure is too wishywashy", what you put was perfect.

*op

Well done

Well done. I'll be interested to know what happens!

It's an aside really, but I wonder if the OPs line of work relies on reputation and word of mouth? The girl really is on self destruct if she's trying to get into an industry while pissing off established people.

She's only 13!

Well done. I think you tackled it just the right way.

Well done, OP. I hope the mother realises how awful her DD is.

i would be surprised if the other mum contacted you tbh, i'd be totally mortified, and would want to crawl under the nearest stone. after i'd bollocked 'd'd for such horrible behaviour.

NannyOgg - No it’s school work she needs help with. I’m not a tutor but I know this subject as it’s directed linked to my job.

Well done OP, good message.

I don't think you'll hear from her.

I'm sure you've realised that this will completely end your friendship with the mum too. (I bet you don't want anything to do with either of them after this starting up again after all these years - you have to wonder how they parent)

Well done

Well done OP and thank you for sharing this. This sort of thing fills me with horror. Mine are still too young but I know it’s coming.