A what would you do...
For context.. On holiday in a villa in Spain with DH and his 2 friends and their DP. Average age early 30's, I'm late 30's and Anna is 20's. Plan was to go to a big club one night this week to see a famous DJ. This is not our usual type of thing or chosen night out (usually in bed by 12!) but it was a special request by my DH's friend 'Tom', who missed out on all the nightlife holiday stuff in his younger days and asked if we could all do this as a one-off. We all agreed ages ago and booked tickets for this one off event. The dj comes on in the early hours of the morning, (think 4-5am ish) so it's going to be hard work to stay awake!
Anyway we were all sat round at dinner discussing the event and DH and I were talking about how hard we were going to find it to stay awake long enough for the event and what our tactics would be, eg having a nap during the day before, trying to change our body clock etc. DH made a joke about why on earth we booked this, what were we thinking etc. Tom said we could always cancel if it's too difficult for everyone. I felt Tom was a bit concerned by me and DH being negative about the event, so I said sorry if we sounded negative, and that we were keen to go but just worried we would spoil it or not enjoy it due to tiredness so trying to come up with a plan. He seemed fine and said no worries, and made a joke about drinking loads of coffee. However, Tom's gf Anna became a bit passive aggressive, saying things along the lines of "don't listen to those two fuckers Tom" and "well they can fuck off and we'll go by ourselves", in a 'jokey' way.
Later on the conversation turned up marriage (DH and I are but Anna and Tom are not) and when another person asked Anna if she'd like to get married she was making disdainful faces towards me and DH and saying "no way" and making rolling eyes / yawn type faces. There has been more of this behaviour but I can't be bothered to list it all here.
Anyway on the way home Anna and Tom wanted to walk back by themselves instead of getting a cab with us, and I had the strong sense that Anna was going to be talking about us. At the villa everyone went to bed but I could hear Anna's voice talking to Tom for ages in their room (walls very thin). I could hear snatches of sentences and then lots of words I couldn't make out. I heard her say my name and then talk about me and. I couldn't make out whole sentences but heard things like "the problem with Holly is..." and "people like that they just..." etc etc. This went on for about 45 minutes and I could hear Tom interjecting with words but mainly Anna talking to him.
I feel crap this morning. I don't know how best to approach the day or the rest of this holiday. I hate all this crap which feels like teenage behaviour to me. None of my friends behave like this- we just communicate openly. I know that if it wasn't for DH friendship with Tom I would never choose to have a person like Anna in my life as she feels somewhat insecure and toxic, but for DH sake I have always tried to get on with her and on the surface have done so. I have shown her kindness, involving her in my bridal party things as Tom was DH's best man, so as not to make her feel left out. I am also sad because I do like Tom very much and feel sad if these conversations are being had.
It all sounds ridiculously PETTY I know - and that's because it is! Do I just zone out and get through this holiday with a false smile? I hate being disingenuous though.