Is sleeping with 25 people by age 21 a lot?

[FiveFarthings]

Whilst sat up with baby I stumbled across this gem on Channel 4 called ‘The Sex Clinic’. They asked the guests how many people they have slept with. Answers ranged from 5 people to the hundreds. One girl who was 21 years old said she’d slept with over 25 people.

I am just wondering if this is a lot by age 21? I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 20 and I’m now 33. I’ve slept with 3 people in my entire life (3 long term relationships and now married). Some of the guests who were saying they’d slept with 100s of people were a bit older so had more time to get those notches, but I still think that’s a big number for even someone in their late 20s. For example, if you lost your virginity at 16, that would make it 6 partners a year until you’re 30. Is that a lot?

I am in no way shaming anyone at all for the amount of sexual partners they have- people can swing from the chandelier with a different partner every night of the year as far as I care, but I was just wondering if I’m in the minority for having had so few sexual partners? Am I old fashioned at only 33? Is sex more casual for the younger generation, is it easier now to hook up than before wide spread internet/mobile phone usage?

I wished id shagged around more when i looked firmer&fitter&had no ties-moral or personal haha..i can only remember8 guys which seems like such a waste now im single parent in mid40's with a better imagination

now im single parent in mid40's with a better imagination

Potential childcare issues notwithstanding, what is stopping you

You surely can’t be so blinkered you’re suggesting casual sex always equals problems.

No, of course not. You surely cant be so blinkered you’re suggesting casual sex doesn’t often cause or is symptomatic of problems?

Some people have used heroin and gone on to live drug abuse free lives with few consequences: That’s not the case for most people abusing drugs and not something I’d want for my children.

You surely cant be so blinkered you’re suggesting casual sex doesn’t often cause or is symptomatic of problems?

Could you share your stats to support your assertion of “often”. And stats that do, of course, clearly show a link rather than the “studies” you shared earlier.

Some people have used heroin and gone on to live drug abuse free lives with few consequences: That’s not the case for most people abusing drugs and not something I’d want for my children

Bravo, you’ve posted the most ridiculous comparison on the thread

Some people have used heroin and gone on to live drug abuse free lives with few consequences: That’s not the case for most people abusing drugs and not something I’d want for my children.

So casual sex is akin to trying heroin?

I wonder if your kids are allowed to leave their beds if this is an example of your risk-assessment skills

I have mixed feelings with regards to this.
I am 55, a very young 55. I met my husband at 16 and married at 24. I had had very few sexual experiences. I am now in the progress of getting a divorce and have had more sexual experiences. I have been away from my husband for 10 years.

I discovered with a couple of men i dated (i mean a couple) brought a real excitement to sex that i had never experience. I started to discover what i liked, which i thought i already new. I went without sex for several years and thought what hell. I would never of discovered the joy of sex by the limited number of sexual partners i had. I also discovered that having many sexual partners, made you feel empty and demoralised. After several partners and the 2 very good ones, I felt i was trying to reach an unobtainable goal. The best sex, the best relationship, best of everything, which is not possible. I am now with a fantastic man for 6 years and the sex is good, the relationship is excellent. but without the other sexual partners my sex even with this man would of been lacking and left again unfulfilled.

The question to the 21 year old is why is she having so many sexual partners? What is she hoping to experience or gain from them?

Maybe she feels that if she didn't have sex with them, she would get a reputation of being frigid and nobody would want to to out with her. It's to easy to say she shouldn't go out with them in that case. Or the idea of fantastic sex and multiple orgasms that they tell us we should all be experience on a daily basis she feels is eluding her. The must have item idea.

I do not know what it is like to be in my 20's today. I hope she is being safe and when she is ready she can ask herself the big why question.

It’s not a ridiculous comparison though, is it? The costs of feckless, inconsequential sex are high - probably higher than the cost of heroin use. HIV/AIDS, other STDs, terminations, financial and other support for the children born as a consequence, management of violence, infertility, psychological support. Added together coat society a huge amount.
My adult children all quite like risk challenges but divert their need for risk and excitement into less harmful activities. They’re high achieving, hard workers on reasonable incomes so don’t fit the demographic for casual sex very well.

My adult children all quite like risk challenges but divert their need for risk and excitement into less harmful activities. They’re high achieving, hard workers on reasonable incomes so don’t fit the demographic for casual sex very well.

You must be proud. Seriously.

They’re high achieving, hard workers on reasonable incomes so don’t fit the demographic for casual sex very well

And yet I’m a high achieving, hard worked on a well-above average income and I like casual sex. It’s almost like, and here’s a controversial thought, there isn’t a “type”.

It’s not a ridiculous comparison though, is it?

Yes. HTH.

They’re high achieving, hard workers on reasonable incomes so don’t fit the demographic for casual sex very well

All the people I know who enjoy casual sex are high achievers and high earners. They have the time and financial freedom to date and socialise.

All the people I know who enjoy casual sex are high achievers and high earners.

Interesting - but purely anecdotal.

but purely anecdotal

Wasn’t CherryPavlova’s point purely anecdotal....?

I didn’t claim it was anything other than an anecdote.

Poster 1: my children are totes amazing and fit your agenda
Poster 2: amazing.

Poster 3: in my experience
Poster 2: nope, just an anecdote

Cherry wouldn’t use a “word” like totes. A bit down with da kidz, no?!

Cherry wouldn’t use a “word” like totes. A bit down with da kidz, no?!

Yes quite.

No comment on the anecdote though, you do - as you always did - make me laugh. You’ve been missed!

And yet I’m a high achieving, hard worked on a well-above average income and I like casual sex. It’s almost like, and here’s a controversial thought, there isn’t a “type”.

As mentioned above, domestic violence within relationships forms a huge part of social work. Relationships don’t always make people happy. People aren’t always in the right place to have one. People don’t always choose the right person to have a relationship with which ends in incompatible unhappiness. Great that your children have found the right partners early on - more people don’t.

When I was single for several years (enjoying casual sex) I was having a break from the stress of previous relationships gone wrong - I still wanted to sometimes have sex.

As for infidelity, that has nothing to do with a single person with no ties having consensual ONSs.

It’s not a ridiculous comparison though, is it? The costs of feckless, inconsequential sex are high - probably higher than the cost of heroin use.

You're right. Just encourage your kids to be drug-addicted virgins. At least they will be pure and not a burden on the state

Just encourage your kids to be drug-addicted virgins. At least they will be pure and not a burden on the state

DO catch up MaximusHeadroom, her children are High Achievers. Although quite why that’s important in relation to a discussion surrounding sex, no-one has quite ascertained.

@JacquesHammer

Sorry. All that sex has clearly lowered my IQ

Who gets to deem what is a lot?

That's the question really, it's build in patriarchy and bullshit standards.

There is no a lot.

Like a PP all the people I know who enjoy casual sex have successful careers, above-average incomes and generally enjoy their lives. The people I know who are in long term relationships have never left the town I grew up in, are struggling for money, and bored with their lives (based on the conversations I have with an old school friend who married young)

www.natsal.ac.uk/media/3935/natsal-3-reference-tables.pdf

Statistically speaking, according to the national survey of sexual attitudes and lifestyles (conducted by academics based at UCL so should be fairly well conducted), yes it's quite a lot higher than the most recent data suggests (2012). Equally, statistically speaking you're on the low side.
The average (median) number of lifetime partners for a woman aged 25-34 is 5, for a woman aged 16-24 it's 3.

NameChange92. Yes the number of promiscuous people is actually quite low. The average age of losing virginity is higher than might be imagined too. Perhaps the message that it’s not the norm to be having sex at a very young age and with multiple partners needs spreading more widely. I’m sure there are lots of youngsters who feel they are abnormal if they’re not having frequent, illegal sex.

Sadly promiscuity is also linked to mental health problems, social isolation and cervical, prostate and oral cancers.
Sexual promiscuity in teens can be a result of substance misuse and pre-existing mental health conditions such as clinical depression. You are more likely to misuse drugs if you are promiscuous rather than if you are a virgin, as happens.
Early promiscuity has a correlation with poor school attendance and lower academic achievement.

Perhaps the message that it’s not the norm to be having sex at a very young age and with multiple partners needs spreading more widely. I’m sure there are lots of youngsters who feel they are abnormal if they’re not having frequent, illegal sex

You’re confusing two issues here again.