What do short vampires do?

[sashh]

On one of may meandering conversations with my carer we got on to the subject of vampires (as you do) and I thought about if I was a vampire.I'm only 5ft tall and disabled, now I assume the process of being undead would improve my mobility but how would I ever bite someone's neck?

My carer thinks I'd have to go for the thigh I think that would make it easier for my victim to defeat me and run.

My extensive research (every episode of buffy and Angel) shows that all vampires find victims they can comfortably bite in the neck, how does that happen?

Veins in feet are nice and accessible but high risk of being kicked.

Maybe the wrist?

It depends if you want to overpower them or instead could you use your vampire charm to get them to offer their neck to you.

Dracula (as played by Christopher Lee)
used generally to bite his victims in the neck while they were lying down.

Maybe that would help.

Interesting, bite the foot or get them to lie down.I was thinking I'd have to attack children and I didn't like that idea.

Claudia in Interview with a Vampire bites at the wrist, I think. Some vampires can fly so perhaps a shortarse could hover a little?

Well obviously you seduce them, once they're on the bed you pounce on them. Whether you go for the blood first is up to you. 😉

You could drop something and as they bend down to pick it up, then you go for the neck.

The element of surprise, too.

Lots of suggestions thank you, I knew I could rely on mumsnet.

Maybe the short ones have died out by natural selection

I think wrist or maybe make your move on quiet buses. On the double door-ed London buses you could be on and off before they knew what hit them.

They are a pain in the knee.

Yeah I’ve seen a lot bite a victim either in the wrist or laying down (sometimes after a fight) lol so I’m sure you’d manage ;)

So in order to eat I jump on a London bus, seduce someone, bite their wrist and get off by the other doors?

Sounds like a plan.

Sit behind people at the theatre/cinema although modern cinema seats have quite high backs.
Maybe go for unpopular shows.

Remember you'll have superhuman strength as well and won't show up on the CCTV. It's not as much hassle as it sounds I'm sure!

When I was training in emergency medicine, they always said to be suspicious of the popliteal area behind the knee because it was a heavy bleeder. Love you for posting this, I have been sat in a waiting room for hours musing this

onion glad to help, we have these weird conversations sometimes, that's how we came up with the kitten bee and the bumble cats - both tiny cats with stripes and wings.

I’m sure vampires can levitate.
Otherwise just seduce sexy victims and plunge your teeth into them in the throes of passion.

Lol, @ILiveInSalemsLot, all I can now think of is the M&M advert...

'Now the biting makes sense' 😁

I suggest we all watch Lost Boys on Amazon this weekend and reconvene on Monday for further discussion.

Having given this way too much thought for an hour, I've had an idea: "Just Bite"- the vampire version of Just Eat. All done online, delivered to your door tied up and ready to feast on.
Not sure what the neighbours would make of this but we'll cross that bridge when when we come to it.

Vampire, that is brilliant.

'Just bite'is brilliant, do you think you will get options like you do on just eat, you know places that do 'American' or 'Indian' or 'breakfast'?

Your a vampire get them cowering in the corner then lean down and get the neck.

I do not know how it is in your area but here food delivery guys often come with tall rucksacks. I am sure you could fit your food (doubled up) in there and so avoid alerting the neighbours.

Surely if you were a vampire you’d be able to fly! Makes it so much easier to swoop in and bite