What do short vampires do?

[sashh]

On one of may meandering conversations with my carer we got on to the subject of vampires (as you do) and I thought about if I was a vampire.I'm only 5ft tall and disabled, now I assume the process of being undead would improve my mobility but how would I ever bite someone's neck?

My carer thinks I'd have to go for the thigh I think that would make it easier for my victim to defeat me and run.

My extensive research (every episode of buffy and Angel) shows that all vampires find victims they can comfortably bite in the neck, how does that happen?

But wouldn't you need to turn from flying shape into human in order to bite? Think of the time delay?

You could turn into a bat and perch on your victim's shoulder.

Just hypnotise or glamour them and then they’ll do your bidding.
Get them to sit down and make life easy for yourself.

I loved The lost boys. I’d happily watch it again.

Surely you would glamour them and make them bend down so you could reach? That's what I would do, plus it would save them from pain, I wouldn't want to hurt them unless I hated them. If I hated them though, would I want to drink from them 🤷‍♀️

Finally (sic) 😆

My ultimate plan for weight loss has always been to offer myself for someone to drink my blood. I'm sure it would mean I could eat loads and not get fatter. Bliss

Where do I volunteer ?

Yes you'll definitely have the full range of options and side dishes.

Do you mean that the calories float around our blood stream before they turn into kgs? You'd need to be bitten in a crucial time window then, wouldn't you?

@vampirethriller

I think wrist or maybe make your move on quiet buses. On the double door-ed London buses you could be on and off before they knew what hit them.

Or bit them

I'm 4ft 10... If ever I am in this situation I'll go for behind the knee

According to True Blood the best veins are in the groin

For vampires with a sweet tooth, choose the "diabetic" option.

Almost spat my coffee out at @vampirethriller's post. This is a brilliant thread!

Ahhh but Riley Finn in Buffy goes off to the vampire nest for a little bitey fun...

So, you could set up a business where people who want to be bitten come to you, you won't kill them, they get their experience and you get your food?

I thought vampires could morph into vampire bats ? (which would totally solve the height problem) I'm sure I saw a vampire film once where a bat it gobbling about on someone's neck and another character comes in and swipes it off (too late obviously the bitee had been infected with vampireness)

OK so I can fly on o the bus as a vampire bat, become human looking, climb up stairs, seduce a human, bite them, befor or after having my wicked way, tell them they are going to lose weight and handout details of a club they can go to to be bitten, but not killed and then head home?

Sounds like a plan

Well as long as you have a plan! Think it looks like it’s all going to turn out fine for vampire you, no worries!

I want a kitten bee

onioncrumble

I suggest we all watch Lost Boys on Amazon this weekend and reconvene on Monday for further discussion.

I know that film off by heart

I would say, your career, could accidentally trip them up and once they are on the floor you could get to the neck quite easily.

Dont, whatever you do go clubbing and bite drunk/high revellers

Um 'Just Bite' sounds great but why bother? You can just order a cheese cake from Just Eat and then feast off the delivery person. The cheese cake is for afters.

This looks a good place to pass on the vampire joke that I was told by my Romanian guide while visiting Dracula’s Castle In Transylvania.
“An English, a Scottish and a Romanian vampire were sitting in the castle tower one night, chatting.
The English one said he was hungry, flew out of the window and came back 10 minutes later, with blood smeared on his chin.

“You see that village down there? I drank the blood of 5 maidens there”.
The Scottish one promptly flew out of the window, and came back 20 minutes later, also with a bloody chin.
“You see that town, down the valley? I drank the blood of 10 maidens there”.
The Romanian one decides it’s his turn. He launches out of the window, and returns 30 seconds later, with blood pouring down his face, shirt, wings and trousers.
“You see that tree out there? Well I didn’t!”
Yeah, pathetic, I know! But it was much funnier in a lovely Romanian accent.

Get a job in a blood bank. Cut out the middleman.

I believe Tom Cruise stood on a box for Interview with a Vampire as he was so much shorter than Brad Pitt. Maybe they all carry a little box with them...

Surely you just bite children. I’ve heard their blood is sweeter and has more energy in it (seeing as they all seem to have endless amounts of it) 😬

OP you need to watch What We Do In The Shadows (series not film)

Babdoc 😂😂😂

There is CCTV on the buses - unless you have the added ‘ glamour ‘ feature a la twilight. I’d stick to London theatres. Low light and seat backs, necks at nibble level already. Play and a pint sounds ideal night out !